Katie Babs - Itās Over Now. Babblings About Books, and More is...
By the summer of 2008, I had found a voice online, or rather I should say I had become more vocal. Not only was I co-blogging on another blog, but I was reviewing 2-3 books a week on other sites, including using a somewhat new social media platform called Twitter (I had been on Twitter since the beginning), and blogging and posting on a very popular social site that was known as Myspace (can you believe My space was once more popular than Facebook?).
One particular person who once had their own blog, and who became the first blogger I really connected with, followed me on Myspace. She would read my Ć¢ā¬ÅramblingsĆ¢ā¬Ā, or as I call them Ć¢ā¬ÅbabblingsĆ¢ā¬Ā, and enjoyed them. She recommended I start my own blog. I never thought I would have my own blog or a platform because I was more comfortable leaving comments on other blogs. My worry was not having anything to say or I would end up speaking to an empty space, as in I would perform on a stage and no one is sitting in the audience to watch me perform. But I did love the romance blogging community where there were people like me who enjoyed talking about romance novels. Outside the online blogging world, or message boards, I didnĆ¢ā¬ā¢t have anyone to talk to about the books I had read, especially romance novels. So in September 2008 I started Babblings about Books, and More (originally on Blogspot and then moved to Wordpress).
Since September 2008, around 5 million people stopped by to read what I have said from book and movie reviews, musing both silly and serious, and welcoming my honest opinions and ideas. Because of my blog I found the voice I never thought I had. I have interacted with so many people, and met some off line. To this day I still talk with some bloggers and those who have commented on my blog, and others over the years. We still share opinions and debate without any judgment. Talking to these people make my day much brighter, and I hope the same goes for them.
One of the biggest honors I had was a blogger, who has become a rock star blogger in the romance online world tell me they started their own blog because of mine. They thought of me as their blogging mentor, a.k.a their blogging mommy (started in 2009, and still going strong). IĆ¢ā¬ā¢ve had countless authors and other bloggers thank me for standing up on the virtual stage, never knowing if anyone was in the audience to hear me speak. Because of my blog, I gained insight and courage I never thought I had. Because of my blog I became an author- KT Grant. I went from Kate (to some Katie), to KB (initials from Katiebabs) to KT Grant the author.
On Wednesday something horrendous happened, especially to a long-time blogger. I wasnĆ¢ā¬ā¢t able to update posts or add any because of a database issue. I thought I could fix it myself, and when I did, I made a huge error. Every post I had since September 2008 disappeared. I erased my virtual footprint. The horror of what I had done consumed me for a good 10 minutes, but then after a calmness settled in, and finally resignation. I had decided this was the end of Babblings.
I was really trying to make it to my tenth anniversary of my blog, and then would close up shop. I almost decided to close last year because of other more important responsibilities I had to concentrate on. A few reasons for this decision involved the changing of the blogging community. The blogging community I stumbled into way back in 2006 had drastically changed by 2013, mainly in part of the rise of Twitter. Blogs I had come to enjoy were disappearing, or others I had interacted with left or disappeared. I was changing too. I decided to make my dream a reality and become a published author. I published my first book in May 2010. IĆ¢ā¬ā¢ve been a published author for 7 years with 35 titles to my name. The entire time I published, I kept blogging. In the 9 years of blogging and 7 years as a published author, IĆ¢ā¬ā¢ve written millions upon millions of words. The word Ć¢ā¬ÅwordĆ¢ā¬Ā is one of my favorite words in the spoken language.
Changes are a part of life. So is the case of my professional and personal life. My blog was there for me during a time I needed it. It gave me strength during a difficult time back in 2010, that came in second to when I was thirteen-years old, and thought I would live past fourteen because of the dark thoughts consuming me daily. I had a crisis of faith in 2010 because of something that had hit me hard in my personal life. But then something or someone, perhaps a higher power spoke to me. In the fall of 2010, I was invited to Hawaii for a wedding. It was a sudden request, one I almost didnĆ¢ā¬ā¢t accept because I was in such a dark place in my mind. I didnĆ¢ā¬ā¢t think the beauty of an island, like the island of Maui could help me. But since the trip was paid for, which was beyond generous, I accepted. At least this vacation could help me forget my sad life for a while. This trip saved me because of one tiny miniscule thing so many take for granted. IĆ¢ā¬ā¢ll never forget it. I was sitting on the balcony in my room just staring at nothing. And then it happened. The sun started to set. A sun set. A Hawaiian sunset is a thing of beauty. Watching that sunset in Maui on a hotel room balcony gave me a feeling of such peace and self-worth. In that small moment the dark thoughts that had consumed me for almost a year vanished. I felt reborn. I canĆ¢ā¬ā¢t explain it but something made it possible for me to be at that exact moment in Maui to watch the sun set to help me move forward, specifically to walk out of the darkness and embrace that light.
Now seven years later IĆ¢ā¬ā¢m still here, stronger than ever in mind, body and spirit. It hasnĆ¢ā¬ā¢t always been easy but since that sunset IĆ¢ā¬ā¢ve had my shares of ups and down, but have always overcome. Just like watching a sunset in Maui, it was like something or someone was telling me it would be okay, and to move forward and carry on with the case of my blog going *poof*. It was time to move on.
So now IĆ¢ā¬ā¢m moving forward. IĆ¢ā¬ā¢m still very much here, nothing much will change other than not having a personal blog. I have a bad Twitter addiction, so youĆ¢ā¬ā¢ll find me there every day. I have my Facebook page, and my Pinterest (Not giving up posting WTF books and their covers). IĆ¢ā¬ā¢m not giving up writing anytime soon, so you bet youĆ¢ā¬ā¢ll see more KT Grant titles from me.
The memories of my time blogging will not be forgotten because the posts IĆ¢ā¬ā¢ve written and the interactions IĆ¢ā¬ā¢ve had made me smile more times than I can count. Why would I ever forget that?
Babbling About Books, and More had a theme song. I never shared it with anyone until now. For some reason the song Ć¢ā¬ÅMusic of the NightĆ¢ā¬Ā from my favorite Broadway musical- The Phantom of the Opera became my theme song because the words I wrote, the posts I created, were my music of the night. Music of the Night is a lullaby to me, comparable to a sunset that shows why the world is so beautiful.
I leave you with the lyrics to Music of the Night and the music. I leave behind my blog, but not my babblings. Never my babblings, my words that set me freeĆ¢ā¬Ā¦.
Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation Darkness wakes and stirs imagination Silently the senses abandon their defenses Helpless to resist the notes I write For I compose the music of the night Slowly, gently night unfurls it's splendor Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender Hearing is beliving, music is deceiving, Hard as lightening, soft, as candle light, Dare you trust the music of the night Close your eyes, for your eyes will only tell the truth, And the truth isn't what you want to see, In the dark it is easy to pretend, But the truth is what it ought to be Softly, deftly, Music shall caress you, Hear it, feel it, Secretly possess you Open up your mind, let your fantasies unwind, In this darkness which you know you can not fight.
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