Bucky Barnes

Stevie had never been afraid of the truth. It was often hard, but it wasn’t scary. The truth was just the truth, and she’d rather know than not know. Nothing had ever been able to shake the fact that she loved him with every last bit of her. She didn’t imagine a thing that ever would. Not now. They’d already made it through the hardest part.

Her eyes closed as she let the words wash over her. There was no way she could pretend to be unaffected by them. She’d never thought she would hear them in that voice again. She tightened her arms around him, her breath hitching in her chest as she clung tighter, that need to have him as close as she possibly could for as long as she could overwhelming her.

He didn’t doubt Stevie, didn’t think that he really could. It didn’t matter that his memory was newly returned, it actually meant some of them were a little more clear. Stephanie Rogers was the most steadfast, honest, loyal person anyone could know. He knew that she would stick if it was just on her. 

There was nothing Bucky could ever do to change her love for him. She could listen to everything he’d been through if that was what he needed, but she’d never waver from his side. He was just as much a victim here as the lives he’d taken. She was glad what was left of Hydra was burning for it, although she didn’t fool herself that it was all truly gone.

“I love you,” she murmured, gently tipping her forehead to his. He didn’t have to say it back, but she couldn’t go into this with him again leaving any room for doubt about that. They’d gone for too long not saying it growing up. She would never make that mistake again, even if she might be making a different one now by rushing things.

The last thing he ever wanted was for her to learn every terrible thing he had ever done. She already came closer than he was comfortable with. Their lives were already tainted and distressing with their losses and pain. He didn’t believe they were free of Hydra, not yet. 

Stevie didn’t care what he’d done. She knew there had to be a lot more, things the files didn’t cover or that had been buried even in the most secret of secret ops, but it didn’t matter. None of that had been Bucky’s choice. Even if it had been, she’d have been looking for ways to bring him back, but it wasn’t. When he had a choice, he always chose to protect. Even Hydra couldn’t fully take that away.

She let him see everything plain on her face, never one to hide from him, especially when they were like this. She loved him, and she would always want him, but she could wait if he needed time to feel comfortable. She wrapped her legs around his waist, arms tightening around his shoulders as he straightened with her. “I’ll tell you if something isn’t okay, and you can tell me,” she assured him softly, fingers running gently through his hair.

He knew that there was more to what he had been doing for decades than what she knew. All he could hope was that she would still love him through everything he knew that she would eventually learn. She fought for him now, but he couldn’t guarantee that would stay the case. Stevie was always his choice. 

No, there was nothing new about this. This was all exactly as she remembered it. They’d always fit together perfectly, always been able to communicate effortlessly in kisses and touches all the love and need that words weren’t capable of expressing. She kissed him with everything she couldn’t say, how much she loved him and needed him and missed him.

His weight settling over her was welcome and familiar, and she arched under his hands, lips trailing along his jaw. It did more to reassure her that he was here and safe than any conversation could. “Bed?” she murmured, a hand sliding into his hair, the other tightening in his shirt. They could stop any time he needed to, but it was more comfortable than the floor.

Originally posted by raleusesensuelle-g

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He wasn’t sure this was a language he knew so well anymore. Everything she poured into that kiss had his breath hitching, his flesh hand tightening gently where he held on to her. He couldn’t understand how she could still feel so much for him, knowing what he had done. It didn’t stop the well of wanting, of needing her that had always been there. 

A quiet groan escaped him at her reaction, his metal arm sliding under her carefully. His comfort was nothing he gave consideration, but Stevie’s was something else entirely. He paused for a moment, looking over her face carefully and seeing nothing but honest want there. Carefully, he lifted her into his arms and waited to make sure she was okay with it once he straightened entirely.

They had time to work their way through all the feelings this reunion would bring up, and all the processing that needed to happen on decades apart. She knew Bucky would always support her, but until she was more sure of his mental state, she didn’t want to do anything that might would send him retreating. She wanted to be a safe place for him.

But she admittedly didn’t do her best thinking when they were kissing. She moaned softly as he deepened the kiss, melting under his hands and lips. This was *her* Bucky, that link between them that could never be erased. Her hands slid into his hair, her kisses slow and deep and a little desperate. She’d understand if he pulled away from her, if he needed to take this slower, but damn she didn’t want him to.

Originally posted by clacesource-blog

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Decades apart from his wife, ripped apart in what they both had thought was death, but was so much worse. He was barely human, had no right to be touching her, let alone kissing her like she was the only source of oxygen available to him. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t breathe without her. Bucky Barnes had never been able to breathe without Stevie Rogers anyway. 

The way she melted for him, sounded, felt, it all went to a part of his brain that he hadn’t known still existed. The desperation in her kisses, though, snapped something in him and he shifted, rolling her under him. Immediately, something desperately savage in his mind settled, feeling her tucked safely under him, in his hands. 

Stevie was holding herself together with string and stubbornness. It was so much to have him in the same room, knowing who she was and wanting to stay there. She would try not to put her breakdown on him, knowing how much he’d always hated to see her cry, but at least in this instance they’d be tears of relief. After longing for the impossible for years, he was here.

She made a soft, needy sound when he kissed her back, his hands in her hair grounding and familiar. She forgot caution and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself against the long, warm line of his body as she kissed him back. He’d always been able to undo her with just a kiss, and it was no different now.

Originally posted by lisareinhart

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He could take anything that she needed him to take, even her sadness. Tears were the least of it, especially ones of relief. He couldn’t say that he didn’t feel like having his own tears. The feeling was absolutely abnormal to him, but he thought the same of all feelings. Eventually, he hoped that they would be normal again.  That soft sound made his hands tighten in her hair, tipping her head to slowly deepen the kiss. One hand slid down to her back, holding her firmly against him. He thought that he could fall apart from having her so close, but he desperately needed her closer. 

There was no scenario where Stevie ever sent him away, not before and not now. She’d always wanted a life spent at his side, whether that was as friends, his wife, his partner on the battlefield, or whatever they figured out for themselves next. What mattered was that they were together. It was something she’d never imagined would be possible again.

“Don’t leave me. Ever,” she pleaded quietly. She didn’t want there to be any mistake about whether she wanted him with her or not. She was always going to want him. Her breath caught when she realized what he was asking, and it took all her self-control not to throw her arms around him and crush her lips to his. She knew she should be gentle, and she tipped her head, brushing a soft, lingering kiss to his lips.

Originally posted by clacesource-blog

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That pleading was almost enough to wreck him if he wasn’t holding himself together so tightly. He had forgotten how much warmth she put in his world just by being there, let alone anything else. Through everything, any blip in his memory, he always wanted exactly this. “I won’t.” The promise was quiet, but firm, knowing he couldn’t break it now. He wasn’t sure what to expect from her at the quiet request he had made. The only thing he had been sure of was that he wouldn’t be met with absolute disgust. That soft kiss, though, felt like ripping apart a dam. His hands sank deep into her hair, tipping her head to kiss her firmly with a quiet groan. 

It was all going to take time, figuring out who they were separately and together on this side of so much trauma. Stevie didn’t mind the process. It was a relief just to think they might have that time together now. She liked this tentative plan of staying together and staying hidden for a while to figure it out. They’d done enough for the world. It could get by without them for a while.

Her eyes fluttered closed at the hands so gentle on her face, not exactly as she remembered but close enough to make her heart try to climb out of her chest to get to him. “You belong with me,” she said, soft but unshakeable on that point. “And I’m yours. Whatever you want from me, I’m here.” Her other hand curled gently around his wrist. There wasn’t a lot Bucky could ask her for that she wouldn’t be glad to give him. He was her husband, her best friend, her whole heart. The years and experiences between them didn’t matter at all next to that.

Originally posted by notyourbitchsblog

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Knowing that she wouldn’t let him go quietly, that they would continue to trail each other across the world, he knew that staying here was what was smart. Everything in him told him that he was exactly where he needed to be, anyway. She didn’t seem like she was going to force him out into the world, and if she did, he couldn’t imagine telling her no.  Something in her voice set off his memory. I can do this all day. It didn’t matter that the words weren’t there, it was the intent behind them, that stubbornness that matched the unshakability of her current words. “I don’t want to leave you,” he admitted quietly, his thumbs sliding gently before sliding under her jaw and tipping it gently. “Please,” he whispered quietly, his eyes drifting down to her lips. 

She’d always loved running her fingers through Bucky’s hair and his tendency to curl up like a cat for hair pets. She’d have loved it long like this if she’d known it was his choice, but like so many things about him now, she couldn’t be sure. She liked him happy; she liked him himself, whatever that might look like on this side of hell.

She was still while he slowly shifted, and she tipped her face gently into the metal, her hand coming up to lay overtop his fingers and hold it there. “I’m safe with you, Buck,” she assured him softly, tipping her head further and brushing a gentle kiss to his metal palm, just as she had the flesh one. They were both part of Bucky, and that made them both loved. She’d never object to being kissed if she’d known where his mind was. It seemed like too much progress to hope for in one day.

Originally posted by shrewind2

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He’d barely begun to settle into having the memories back of being James Buchanan Barnes, US Army sniper and husband. Figuring out how to like himself now hadn’t even started to be a thought. He wanted to try, wanted to get there, but he knew it was going to take time. 

A part of him wanted to pull his hand away before she made any more contact with it. He knew that she could handle a lot, that she knew what she should and shouldn’t be afraid of. His hands both cupped her face gently. “I want so much with you that I know I shouldn’t.” His thumbs slid gently across her cheeks, his eyes drifting over her face. “But it doesn’t stop me from feeling like I belong right here.” 

Stevie had handled it okay, losing what was left of her life in the past. She’d already lost the person who mattered most. What was a little more grief? What really hit her when she woke up was realizing she would have lost Bucky either way. He’d have been an old man or dead after all that time. There was no scenario where they got to live long, happy lives together. That breakdown hadn’t been pretty.

But against all odds, he was here. Her hand soothed gently through his hair. “Because I know you better than anyone. Whatever they tried to do to you, they couldn’t change who you are deep down. My Bucky was *very* good at what he did. It scared him sometimes, what he was capable of. But that deepest instinct was never to hurt. It was always to protect. That’s who you really are. Even when you didn’t know why, you saved me.”

Originally posted by shadowhuntersseries

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There were rare memories, missions that had left him out of cryo and the chair for too long, where he had remembered her, remembered learning that she was dead. Those had gotten him into more trouble than anything else, even failure. Every time wiped, he’d simply come back colder, he could see now looking back through his memories. It was hardly surprising, knowing everything he knew now. He leaned slightly into her touch, never thinking he would enjoy long hair so much as when he was being pet by her. He knew exactly what she was talking about, knew every bit of it was truth. Slowly, so very carefully, he raised his metal hand to press his fingertips lightly to the edge of her jaw. “Stevie,” he sighed softly, tamping down that need he felt to kiss her. 

She never wanted to *stop* clinging to him. These were the only arms she’d wanted from the moment she woke up from her seventy year sleep. It was a miracle that he was still alive and here with her after all that time, but it felt more like a dream, something that could be snatched away from her at any moment.

She withdrew her hand when he tensed, wrapping it back around him, both running soothingly over his back. She would never make him do anything he wasn’t ready for. “It’s okay. You didn’t know. I’m right here, and I’m fine. I trust you.” She pulled back enough to look into his face, resting her forehead gently against his.

Originally posted by alec-magnvs

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He hadn’t understood why waking up alone felt so wrong after he was on his own, his memories returning in scattered bits and pieces. And then Stevie, more and more, filled his mind and returned to her place, the ache in his chest suddenly making sense. Sleep wasn’t something he was inclined to anymore, not really, but even his body had to surrender on occasion. Her name in his own voice echoed in his ears every time he woke up. 

When she let go of his arm, he relaxed slightly. He wanted to trust her words, to trust in her faith in him. He didn’t know how. None of this felt real. The Asset wasn’t allowed good things, not even good dreams. The very memory of every time he hurt her made nausea roll through him that he had to choke back down. “How can you?”

She knew she could hug him tightly and never worry about hurting him, and if that was better classified as clinging right now, that was between them. His hand in hair was soothing, and it felt like the first real breath she’d drawn in years.

She also knew exactly what he wasn’t doing and why. Her hand slid softly down the metal arm, a gentle encouragement to wrap it around her. She understood if he didn’t trust himself that much yet, but Stevie always would. “You won’t hurt me, Buck,” she murmured.

Originally posted by shadowhuntersseries

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There was nothing she could do to hurt him in a moment like this. If she needed to hold tight to him, to cling, then she could do that. He wouldn’t be able to bring himself to stop that. They had been without each other for too long. He had been awake for more of it, terrifyingly and horribly awake, if not himself. 

He felt the instinct to yank the arm back away from her, could only picture the way it had hurt her during their fight. His throat was tight and the servos in his arm whirred softly as he held it still. “I already have,” he shook his head, the fear clear there. 

Stevie had never needed protecting from him. He probably would have been surprised to know how much like the old Bucky that whole line of thinking was. He’d always thought she deserved better, always thought he was bad for her, at least before they were together and it was too good to be denied.

She went still when he did, wondering if she’d pushed too far. He wasn’t pulling away yet, so she just waited for him to decide what he was okay with. Her breath went out in a shaky sigh when he wrapped an arm around her, and she went easily when he hauled her closer, burying her face in his shirt to keep from making a sound. She would not cry. She would *not.* He was solid and warm and somehow still smelled like him, and it was the closest thing to home she’d had in seventy years.

Originally posted by moodboardrph

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Some of the memories were there, how damn good they were when they were together. It didn’t matter where they were, it seemed. He saw her on the battlefield. He saw her on an old, slightly tattered couch. He saw her every way possible and had to tamp down hard on some of them. He didn’t know how to process everything, too much and not enough all at once. 

His hand slid gently to play with the ends of her hair gently, wanting to wrap both arms around her with near desperation. He breathed deep, filling his lungs with her and feeling like maybe he wasn’t entirely lost for the first time in decades. “I’m here, Stevie,” he whispered into her hair.

She would have preferred to help him through it, no matter how painful or dangerous, than for him to go through it all alone. He was the person she loved more than anything, the one she was supposed to protect. She couldn’t change anything that had happened, but she swore to herself that she would be here from now on if he would let her. She’d take any kind of life at his side.

“Always, baby,” she whispered, giving in and wrapping her arms around him. He’d seemed to want all the contact so far, and she never wanted him to think she was holding back because she didn’t want it. She just worried about overwhelming or triggering him. She wanted to hold him and be held until they both knew things were going to be okay.

Originally posted by forbescaroline

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He was supposed to protect her, to guard her, even when it meant pulling her out of fights she took on. Even if it meant protecting her from him, he could do that. Being here wasn’t smart, wasn’t protecting her, but neither was hurting her and he knew that’s what staying away was doing. 

A ragged sound escaped him when her arms wrapped around him. He froze, unsure and careful as he processed. After a moment, he carefully slid his arm around her, pressing his face into her hair. Taking a deep breath, a broken sound rumbled in his chest and his arm tightened to haul her against him completely.

Losing him hurt every single time. She knew it had been a choice to stay away this long, and that was its own special kind of pain. She didn’t blame him for it, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt every day he chose not to see her. She didn’t know if she could handle him walking away again, especially now when his memory seemed relatively stable.

Stevie didn’t care if she had to spend the rest of her life hiding, as long as she got to do it with him. The world would survive without Captain America. She wasn’t sure how much of Bucky would survive without her, and vice versa. They were already a collection of broken pieces of the people they used to be. She gently brushed the hair out of his face, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “Then we’ll go. Wherever you feel safe enough.”

Originally posted by silverduckie

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The urge to go to her had been nearly overwhelming, almost impossible for him to ignore. The only thing stronger had been the need to protect her. He hadn’t known what his mind would do or what he would be like without the chair, without cryo. She hadn’t needed to watch what he went through, hadn’t needed to add that to her memories of him. 

He knew that what was left of Bucky Barnes wouldn’t survive without her because she was the most important parts of him. There might not be much of him left, but what there was... wanted her. Always Stevie. His eyes closed and he leaned into the kiss. “I’m safe with you,” he said quietly.