surfs up shinji kun

sharing a full screenshot uncropped is kind of like bending over in a little skirt and pulling it up a little

theres a whole album of song titles you can make just from the words of this tweet

this makes smoking weed sound so much cooler than it is

ohh my god but what if there is still time. what if there is still time. hey. there is still time? there is still time. have you heard. there is still time. hi. there is still time. did you know. there is still time.

never shouldve smoked that shit, now i’m on the july 17th 1995 cover of newsweek

Happy 30th birthday bisexuality

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

the tension between the genuine cleverness of the joke and the incompetence implied by putting it on two-sentence horror is what makes this for me

Literally amazing that there’s a predator that goes “mrrp” and you’re allowed to have one in your house

a pretty pussy is one of the most classic things a boy can have

fighting game heritage post

video game secret: there's clever wordplay hidden in the title of the game "nintendogs". the word "dogs" is cleverly added on to the name "nintendo" to form the word "nintendogs". this is actually a reference to the concept of "puppies"

every lyric annotation on Genius reads like this

wishing all outdoor workers, delivery drivers, people who have to walk to work, bus riders, etc a very Don't die in this heat

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

Oh wow so me saying "no government documentation should ever include a gender marker for any reason" has been right all along. For exactly the reason I stated when people were giving me shit for not supporting x markers on documents.