Himbeau Supreme™

we're honestly completely fucked if zombies ever discover the power of working together synchronously using an agile team collaboration framework

When you're unable to solve an IT problem at work, there really is nothing quite like having it escalated all the way up the ladder. With every step, there is a degree of smugness about how real my problem is, and that yes, I was right to have trouble with this.

You can get a minor version of this if one IT person solves it but they spend a bunch of time repeating things you’ve already tried and when they eventually solve it it’s by doing something you wanted to try but didn’t have the requisite permissions to do

Was in a situation where neither I, nor my boss knew what was causing the problem, so we ended up calling one of the head engineers, and ive never experienced anything quite as validating as the moment where said head engineer, after spending several minutes just staring at the problem, quietly said "what the fuck"

I can't do AI, it's against my religion.

hmm... *gets in evil bed and holds my evil stuffed animal* evil night.. *turns off my fucked up evil lamp*

Yes, your dentist can absolutely tell if you masturbated at home before your appointment. And in fact, a shower and change of clothes does little to hide this. The best step forward is to apologize to your dentist for masturbating.

Talking to my traumatized friends like “take your time responding and don’t feel any need to cater to my opinion in this matter just tell me the truth about what you feel. Your feelings are valid. ” and it’s about like choosing where to go to lunch.

please come back horace we love you

Mutual I wanna talk to you but I don't know what to say. I really like you and I enjoy our interactions I think you'd be an awesome person to be friends with in real life. Please do not attack me with a sledgehammer.

I am once again begging and pleading to people who don't like evil people in their shows to stop watching the everybody is evil show

Alan Turing and Ada of Lovelace did not invent computer science for the girls and the gays to claim they can't do math

and honestly, going to the video store was fun. sometimes just looking around at everything they had WAS the fun part of the evening. and you can buy snacks there too