ALEC: well. there seems to be a group of people, i'm sure you're a part of, that're for 'saving the snakes'. so. makes my job hard.

ALEC: obviously a silk set, c'mon. what else would you expect from me.

ALEC: wow, you and target both have my back and i just... i can't thank you two enough. i feel the love. i feel it.

DIA: how dare i 😔

DIA: well i also expected a mink robe and a sailor hat, but i was close

ALEC: hope you're not losing your mind on me here.

ALEC: so many snakes, you have no idea.

ALEC: i work in my pajamas a lot of the time, so no. not at all.

ALEC: you know, that was what i was thinking of going for. everyone loves toast, i'm sure. hopefully my future bride does, too.

DIA: time will tell 😊

DIA: you must not be very good at your job if there are still so many snakes out there, tsk tsk.

DIA: huh... maybe not so much fancy as cozy. Depends on how fancy your pajamas are.

ALEC: a tone? me? i would never, d.

ALEC: i'm a hitman. i got a list.

ALEC: not really, i'm a web designer.

ALEC: i think i'll get married in target when i meet the right person. i mean, they'll have everything i need, so why not, you know. win/win.

DIA: must be my imagination.

DIA: apparently a list of snakes.

DIA: oh, how fancy.

ALEC: i'm sure.

ALEC: no. no snake work. actual work that will not get done if i die from a snake bite.

ALEC: target is the only love i ever need, really.

DIA: I'm not sure I like that tone, sir.

DIA: jobs are things, right. What do you do?

ALEC: i'm sorry, what am i suppose to say.

ALEC: no thanks to you, i have work to do. the thanks i can give to you is for reminding me of it again.

ALEC: WOW. just wow.

DIA: how should i know, i'm the wholesome one, remember?

DIA: snake work?

ALEC: ...oh my gosh, you're the wholesome one.

ALEC: to sure. haven't been paying attention to it.

ALEC: target is always on it's game. it's target.

DIA: you said gosh, you're no better.

DIA: see? you've already forgotten about him, you're welcome.

ALEC: excuse me, i don't use that word. i'm wholesome.

ALEC: sweet? you won't let me save my life and get rid of the murderous snake in my yard and that's ROOD.

ALEC: don't have that problem, but i guess it's a plus.

DIA: it took me three tries to type that, stooop :(

DIA: has he slithered a single inch this whole time?

↳@realrexha has uploaded a new photo

good night, maine. #zzz  #bedtime  #goodnightkiss

ALEC: anyway.

ALEC: i have 99 me problems, but that's not one.

ALEC: but not as cute and mine is from target, which is why my hair has bounce and body and shine? thank you, dia, you're just so sweet.

ALEC: i see a lot of shampoo commercials, so i know that's what matters, okay.

DIA: hm.

DIA: if a toaster isn't one, that leaves room for a b***h to be one, choose wisely.

DIA: debatable, and... i like target, so we'll call it a draw i guess. i am sweet, though.

“maybe i’ll skip it for now. classy silhouette will have to do for he time being.” alec thought on it for a second before giving it up. “but i’ll call you if i ever need one. i’ll keep you in the back of my mind.” he stated as they reached the registers in the front. “you go first. you and your armfuls of items.”

snorting a laugh, dia surrendered to the curtain charade, unsure if either of them were up for the task so soon after such a tiny, major purchase. “i’ll plan out a curtain itinerary just in case,” she teased, guiding their cart into the queue. “it’s not that much,” she grumbled, knowing full well that the layer of trinkets strewn across the cart’s floor was a little excessive. “you’ll get to this level of expertise, don’t worry.”

ALEC: you may have felt something, but it wasn't tension.

ALEC: that sounded suggestive, i swear it wasn't meant to.

ALEC: no. don't try to make this better.

ALEC: "no alec, you're cute, wow, so much cuter and amazing." thank you, dia, it's appreciated.

DIA: [read 12:35]

DIA: i'm going to choose to believe that.

DIA: i'm a saint and you can't handle it, that's a you problem, mister.

ALEC: that's nowhere near true.

ALEC: literally told you i didn't need that many slots, dia. literally. told you.

ALEC: cute.

DIA: nope, definitely felt some tension.

DIA: look, if it weren't for me, you'd have zero toast. isn't six better?

ALEC: excuse me. it's true, no agreeing to disagree.

ALEC: 6. SLOTS. D. i'm one guy. i don't eat /that much/ toast.

ALEC: i think you need to leave google out of this, you're suppose to be a professional.

DIA: idk about that, you've been awfully rude to me so farrr.

DIA: you made you choice! i provided guidance and you paved your own path. how should i know your toasting habits?

ALEC: i live to please.

ALEC: you convinced me to buy a 6 slot toaster for a household with one person. you took advantage of me. ADVANTAGE.

ALEC: they shouldn't. i buttered the toast. took it a step further.

DIA: agree to disagree.

DIA: toast is good for the flu, breakfast parties and supposedly hangovers so ACTUALLY I DID YOU A FAVOR

“of course. gotta leave something to that robber’s imagination.” alec teased with a head nod. his brows her high as he turned his head, shooting the girl a look as he spoke. “you’re making me rethink not having a shower curtain. should i have a shower curtain?” he questioned wholeheartedly, truly confused on the subject of design and the necessities within it. 

“you should probably have a shower curtain,” she confirmed with one shoulder lifting into a shrug. “but you’re free to keep your method of burglary protection if it’s been working for you. no need to wrack your brain any further than i already have.”

ALEC: wow, okay. yes, ma'am.

ALEC: the only thing we've been through together is a store, d. we've been through a store.

ALEC: still don't trust them.

DIA: you catch on quickly.

DIA: the store is a metaphor. we went through trials and tribulations and small appliances. i earned that trust.

ALEC: thank goodness, i was worried you wouldn't.

ALEC: keeping a watchful eye on you until i can trust you.

ALEC: and your snakes.

DIA: next time i won't be so understanding.

DIA: what kind of friend doesn't trust the other? after all we've been through together.