we’re fine, this is fine

-Immediately starts putting her on every treatment known to man

-Walks over to Wilson’s office, which is the only part of the entire ship that just looks the same as it does in the show

-Homoerotically complains about how stupid Jedi are, then makes a bet with Wilson on whether Obi Wan is gay or the father of Padme’s twins (Wilson wants House to believe people can be faithful)

-Padme almost dies again. Turns out the treatment’s not working

-“if the dark side nearly killed her, maybe it can save her”

-House uses force lightning to restart Padme’s heart

-Gets brought into Cuddy’s office and told off for using an experimental treatment, and the power of the dark side, in her hospital

-House is taken off the case and foreman is put in charge of the case

-Padme is unexpectedly doing better, but Cuddy refuses to tell House or else he’ll be using the dark side to save all his patients

-House watches on as Wilson tries seducing a relieved Obi Wan while he paces in the lobby. Doesn’t seem to work

-House interrogates Obi Wan about his relationship with Padme, insinuates it’s Obi Wans Fault. Gets in a struggle and once theyre seperated it’s revealed he ripped out some beard hair

-Padme is getting released from the hospital but crashes again with obvious signs of infection. Everyone blames the dark side of the force

-is put in intensive care again, everyone thinks she’s going to die, House is brooding.

-House meets Bail Organa and talks to him, Bail mentions how he was so worried about her the last time she was in a hospital, and this seems much more hopeless

-“what time she was in the hospital?”

-House marches in as they’re about to pull the plug, rolling Padme’s unconcious body over to point at dark spot on the back of her neck

-Foreman looks disapointed, “it’s a bruise house, her husband nearly snapped her neck.”

-“Our princess’ boyfriend here failed to mentioned she was scratched by a Nexu on Genosis years ago. Nexu claws are known as a vicious poison.”

-“it would have killed her years ago”

-“unless a small chunk of claw stuck in her back, working into the muscles near the nape of her neck for years. The little prince of Darkness chokes her, pressure and muscles spasming lets it work into a blood vessel. It’s why the force lightning only was a bandaid, it vaporized what was in her bloodstream but broke up the rest of the claw and let it enter in her bloodstream. Start her on dialysis, she’ll be fine by tomorrow afternoon.”

-Next day Padme’s wheeled out of the hospital with her two children, bittersweetness. House watches from balcony before going back to his office

-Wilson enters with his shirt unbuttoned and a few bruises on his neck, declaring, “the Jedi is gay. I win.”

Tanjir0se’s Very Scientific Superstitiousness Scale:

Level 0: not at all

I don’t believe in luck, good or bad. I don’t believe I can ‘jinx’ my own luck by saying a certain phrase. I never carry good luck charms nor do I abstain from anything others consider to be unlucky.

Level 1: A Little Stitious

I may have a lucky hat or pair of socks, but I know it’s probably mostly placebo. I will playfully try to avoid ‘jinxing’ myself (i.e. avoiding phrases like ‘as long as it doesn’t rain, we’ll be fine!’ or saying ‘Macbeth’ in a theater), but I don’t take it too seriously.

Level 2: Moderate

I change my behavior to some extent to avoid bad luck and encourage good luck. If I have an important interview coming up, I wouldn’t leave my good luck charm behind. I avoid jinxing myself and will try to avoid actions that may cause me bad luck (like avoiding cracks in sidewalks)

Level 3: Very

I will go out of my way to strictly avoid jinxing myself or unlucky things, like scheduling work or events around a full moon, not ever saying certain unlucky words or phrases, etc. I truly believe certain items are lucky (or unlucky) and treat them accordingly.

Level 4: Extreme. SUPER Stitious

I frequently and actively engage in rituals to protect myself from bad luck (holding my breath while passing a cemetery on the road, knocking on wood to prevent a jinx) and firmly believe I will receive bad luck or bad things will happen to me if I don’t do them. I change my behavior every day to avoid bad or encourage good luck and will refuse to do something I believe may bring me bad luck.

It's been said before, obviously, but. Wei Wuxian. my man. HOW in the WORLD is playing a gay, crazy cultivator is supposed to be a disguise for YOU? I'm sure it escaped your delicate, selective notice, but you WERE a gay, crazy cultivator when you were alive? you're not being any different? "Oh, pretending to be attracted to Lan Wangji is so wild, no one would suspect a thing–" YOU WERE ATTRACTED TO LAN WANGJI, THOUGH? I'm pretty sure that's how Jiang Cheng was sure, actually. Like "oh yeah, a crazy, gay, demonic cultivator telling me he's into Lan Wangji's looks of stone, JUST to piss me off? that's my former shixiong alright."

Because this is what Madame Yu does:

She hugs and kisses Jiang Cheng, then turns around and tells Wei Wuxian to protect him at all costs

And this is what Jiang Fengmian does:

He strokes Jiang Cheng’s head, then turns to Wei Wuxian and tells him to protect Jiang Cheng

I cannot stress enough that these interactions happen within five pages of each other. Like, Madame Yu is harsher with Wei Wuxian than Jiang Fengmian is, but these are fundamentally the same things. They comfort Jiang Cheng like parents, then they order Wei Wuxian to protect their son.

On the subject of jfm’s treatment of Jiang Cheng vs Wei Wuxian, while I acknowledge that he was nicer to wwx, it’s was only ever that: being nice. He didn’t, like. Raise him. Care about his emotional or physical wellbeing. Treat him in any way like family. He was just…nice to him. He DID deeply care about jc in a way he never did for wwx, but he was a terrible, shitty father. That’s what I mean by “favoring”—jfm’s “favoritism” of wwx was only ever surface-level.

Essentially, he loved Jiang Cheng, but didn’t like him, and he liked Wei Wuxian, but didn’t love him.