girl help

Drabble, 431 words

Backstage, as Dan’s gotten changed into Sister Daniel. Spoilers for Terrible Influence!

There’s a moment backstage, the second the tights are on. The dress lays lightly over his thighs, and the habit is pushing down over his hair, giving him curly little bangs. He’s got several seconds - minutes, really - to get into costume, but that’s nothing in the middle of a live stage show.

Tonight, though, it’s different. He gets the dress on too quickly, and he can hear Phil’s monologue loud in his ears at a much earlier point than usual. He’s in position, and he’s off to the side enough that he can only just see Phil. He can feel him, though. He knows the expression on his face, the gentle sincerity as he talks about the hiatus, sans standing microphone. Dan can hear the love in his voice as tells their fans that maybe the hiatus was - a good thing. He can hear the audience agree.

Dan can feel his heart thump in his chest. He’s suddenly starkly aware of the rosary around his neck. The habit falls onto his shoulders the same way he can imagine long hair would, if he had it. The tights hug his thighs, centering him in this moment, and he grips onto Phil’s all black priest outfit in his hand.

His heart still pounds as he places his other hand on the rosary. His fingers brush over it, the touch cool against his warm hand.

He still remembers bringing up Sister Daniel’s involvement in the show to Phil. It was obvious, really. Like putting the Golden Pig on stage. A joke within their community, but an important joke that their audience loves.

In many ways though, they both know She isn’t a joke. She represents - something. Everything. Their audience have noticed, of course they have, how she moves differently to Dan - even when she’s wearing underwear. She openly flirts with Phil. She’s - she. She should be a joke, and yet she heals something deep within Dan when she steps off the wings of the stage and saunters over to Phil, swinging his cross around her finger.

Dan no longer prays to God each night in the hopes of making him straight. He wouldn’t do that anymore anyway. But Sister Daniel allows him to play, to turn that old wound into something new, something fun, something queer, and he gets to do it all with Phil. Phil, who’s talking about how much he loves his audience, how much they both love them. He’s talking about forgiving ourselves, and - that’s his cue.

That’s her cue.