“she’s got legs for days” pfffft not impressive. i;ve had mine for years

how do you guys vocalize the punchline semicolon silly-punctuation I always imagine it’s a teenage boy voice crack

FISH HAMMER

For beating the carp outta someone

fuck this house

BABY DOES NOT NEED SMOKO

WHAT THE FUCK

You should be starting a recipe book. I don't give a shit if you're only 20-years-old. The modern web is rotting away bit by bit before our very eyes. You have no idea when that indie mom blog is going down or when Pinterest will remove that recipe. Copy it down in a notebook, physically or digitally. Save it somewhere only you can remove it. Trust me, looking for a recipe only to find out it's been wiped off the internet is so fucking sad. I've learned my lesson one too many times.

They shot abraham lincoln in the hat and he died