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im a protected species you fucking asshole

i think there is something fundamentally wrong with me but that's okay

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

I like the nodding emoji 🙂‍↕️ for how at peace it is. when I use it I feel like a wise sage who has reached an enlightened truth of the universe. mmmm 🙂‍↕️ monkey

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

You can lie when you name things

salmon so tasty it make me eat hasty / when salmon is finished the joy is diminished

at the gym telling everyone the weights would be easier to lift if we all work together

does anyone else think about how brave all their friends are and get really emotional about it