taylor price
d e v o n
tannertan36
we're not kids anymore.
Product Placement
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
sheepfilms
Jules of Nature
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Game of Thrones Daily
Love Begins
â
Acquired Stardust
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
almost home
@theartofmadeline
romaâ
Andulka
seen from T1
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@rambleonmyhead
Ephemeral
Love and lust, someone said there's just a thin line between them
The heartbeat-racing, yet the tears are also flowing
The overflowing smiles, but then it's overwhelming
You feel it, you lose it
It's tempting, but then it's boring
What is love? What is lust?
Should it be questioned? Should it be left unanswered?
Love and lust, it's like a puzzle that tangled
But, it's somehow beautiful yet it's ephemeral
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You may or you may not be happy right now, but the sun still rise and the moon still shine
The universe around you may not be changed, the routinity still there
The clock's ticking may sound so horrible, but it's always ticking anyway
.
.
Maybe it's not the world around you
Maybe it's you, who needs to change
Maybe it's you, who needs the change(s).
Ingmar Bergman
"If your tooth hurts, your tongue keeps going there. You are always conscious of a wound." â Ingmar Bergman
And so it is with the soul.
We return, again and again, to the acheânot for pleasure, not even out of compulsion, but because pain demands attention. It is the sentinel of the self. As the tongue probes the hollow socket where something once was whole, the mind circles its absences, the heart fingers its fractures.
We are, as Virginia Woolf once wrote, âperpetually accompanied by an inner atmosphere, sometimes as thick as thunder, sometimes clear as air.â That atmosphere is our woundscape. We live inside it. Even joy is measured by the shadows that precede it.
Psychologist Bessel van der Kolk reminds us that trauma is not stored as narrative, but as sensation. The body keeps the score. And so, it is not memory that draws us back to the wound, but muscle, marrow, instinct. Something in us aches not merely to remember, but to resolve. Yet resolution is a rare languageâwe more often repeat, relive, re-injure.
Sociologist Zygmunt Bauman calls our time âliquid modernityâ: identities shifting, bonds evaporating, griefs without burial. In such a world, wounds fester not because they are deep, but because they are unseen. We are no longer given the rituals to mourn them, no space to speak of what is not successful, what is not clean.
Yet as Umberto Galimberti warns, "pain is not an illness to be cured, it is a condition of existence to be experienced." Suffering is not an anomaly. It is not an error in the system. It is the system's most honest momentâits unwelcome truth.
Brianna Wiest writes: âTrue transformation occurs not when we go in search of a different life, but when we find new eyes with which to see the one we already have.â Healing, then, is not about fleeing the wound, but letting it revise our gaze.
There is the possibilityâtenuous, unglamorous, slowâof tending.
We do not cauterize the soul. We irrigate it.
Not with noise, not with performance, but with attention. Real, quiet, watchful attention. As Rilke urges, âPerhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help.â
The tongue may return to the tooth. Let it. But instead of prodding the nerve, perhaps we may listen to what it keeps whispering.
That something once hurt. That something was lost. That something still matters.
And that to suffer is not a failure of strength, but a call to presence.
So what can be done?
We name it. We breathe around it. We stop asking the wound to vanish and begin asking what it needsânot to disappear, but to be seen without recoil.
Healing does not mean erasure. It means integration.
As Wiest puts it, âYou don't become whole by turning away from what is broken. You become whole by stepping into it.â
A life lived not in spite of the woundâbut with it. With grace. With awareness. With the tongue at last learning not only to return, but to stay.
Adakah satu waktu bukan untuk jemu?
Kamu rindu dengan waktu dan senyummu yang merayu
Rindu tatapan penuh makna dan hati yang tak meragu
Adakah satu waktu kembali ke masa itu?
Bukan untuk mengubah, tapi kembali merasa
Bukan untuk menyesali, tapi ingin mengalami lagi
Karena ada harapan yang menggebu
Ada hati yang lugu
Ada jiwa yang meyakini kalbu
Adakah satu waktu itu?
Kamu hanya ingin, tapi itu tak mungkin
.
.
Lalu,
Adakah waktu, untuk kembali merasakan itu?
Isn't it poetic?
You barely can see the sunrise, you almost never see the sunset
But, you got applauses. Got every thumbs up.
You forgot all the tiredness
of that "success" you framed in your head
Later on,
You still barely see the sunrise. Got almost no time seeing the sunset
But now with almost no applause, nor the thumbs up
Your heart is drying
Your mind is wondering
Your soul is examining.. why all the sweetness becomes so sour?
Again..
Isn't it still poetic?
You barely can see the sunrise. Never had the chance to see the magnificent sunset
Yet, you crawl in the uncertainty
Begging for once, you feel again the breeze of 'happiness' that framed in your head
Until one day.. you begin to questioned,
.
.
Was it all poetic?
Or was it just.. pathetic?
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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What should I do when everything's going south?
Should I sailed back?
Should I go straight?
I'd rather not choosing. Cause I don't know what's missing.
Should I eat up my ego?
or should I just.. go south too?
sometimes it's near
sometimes it's not here
for what I've been waiting, where are you hiding?
may the best be with me
but at last I'd just let it be
for what it's worth, I shall be right here
not wondering where should I'd get goin
just waiting
for the time to let me, be me.
PILOT
Oh, so finally I'm here again. Started out this "mini-blogging"-kinda thing~ since 2009 and whooosss I forgot my password and well yeah, those thoughts and stories and laughters and tearjerkers and any kind of feelings I've been puttin on this channel was gone. Well, not completely... but I cannot fully access it and that's kind of annoying.
Okay, enough with the horrible starter...To be honest, I finally come to my sense and think about, "why don't I start blogging again? it's free, it's amusing, it's where I can express every single pieces ramble on my head" so voila! this is it: ramble on my head 𤪠But, then again, I think this is gonna be the place that mimicking my own "psychiatry clinics" because turning 30-ish is somehow..... complicated. Many things I've achieved. Many things I've given up. Still, many things I haven got yet. It's a roller coaster; sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I just laugh at it, sometimes.... I just wanna throw up đ And sometimes, I really. really wanna give up. Tell me it's so humane, right?
Now, I'm almost 33. Married with one kid. Happy, at least with what I have right now, but still wanting things that I somehow cannot explain to myself. I want to progress, in my career, but somehow I don't like my job. I want to do what I love, but again, too afraid to start just because I don't have any background in it, not to mention the pressure that will be given by my 'dear' family *sigh*; the "are you sure? are you out of your mind? are you dumb? are you nutss??!" kinda thing~ oh well those thoughts are killing me. I want a peaceful mind....Yeah, I think for now, I just want to be at ease. To make peace with myself. To tapped my back and say "hey, that's okay, we can do it. thank you for thriving, thank you for everything". I just want to feel content. Be happy of what I am, what I have, what I've achieved right now. But... how? Why is it so hard?
I miss my younger self.
I miss my youthful times.
Well, enough with today's rambles. Hope tomorrow will be better and fill with positivity đ
Ciao!
