Ram bammer extraordinaire 🪇

When your boyfriend shows you exactly why he's called a freak

transition

bdsm

ADHD medication

go outside for an hour and observe birds

He’s not posting anything special - just a pic of his meal or a post-workout selfie - but some guy with millions of followers likes everything he post. Steve doesn’t even know this guy.

He mentions it to Dustin once when he was home from college for the weekend, and Dustin is like, “Is your page public? Why are random people looking at your page?”

“I don’t know,” Steve says. “They keep changing everything. I barely know how the damn app works.”

“Let me see.”

Dustin takes his phones, taps the screen a few times, and then looks up, “This is the guy liking your stuff? This guy??”

“Yeah.”

“Eddie Munson,” Dustin clarifies. Steve nods. “Eddie Munson from Corroded Coffin is liking your stuff?”

Steve is just, “…Who?”

“Steve, my favorite band! I talk about this guy all the time!” Dustin exclaims and then calms into exasperation because, “He messaged you and you didn’t look at it??!”

“Oh, that’s Dustin’s friend,” Steve says. “That guy is like, in the marching band or something.”

“I’m almost certain that’s not what Dustin said to you,” She replies. “That guy looks like a vampire.”

“How do you know what he looks like?”

“You never looked at his page?!” She asks. “Steve, you need to know who is looking at your stuff!”

Meanwhile, Eddie has been following Robin on Tiktok almost as long as he’s been looking at Steve’s insta.

Once a month, Robin posts a Tiktok of her journey home from college for a weekend.

The video goes from train to plane, to bus, to a little red door that she bust through, to Steve doing something weird. Every time.

The last video (posted one week ago) has Robin busting in to Steve’s house to himputting a condom on a banana.

You can’t see Robin but the look on her face is perfectly encapsulated in the wide-eyed surprise that Steve is giving back to her.

There’s a heavy pause before Steve finally says, “This is obviously not what it looks like.”