Dr. Dil

“If you aren’t charged up about doing something, if you don’t have what in Hindi we call the “Josh”, the fire in your belly for it, then don’t do it.”

Character Name: Rajveer Vohra

Faceclaim: Varun Dhawan

Age: 33

Gender Identification: Male

Preferred Pronouns: he/him/his

Residential Area: The Drive

Occupation: Cardiologist

Two Positive Traits: Honest, Empathetic

Two Negative Traits: Workaholic, Bossy

Length of Time in Vancouver: 27 years (on and off during college years)

The ease that was there between the two of them was not unexpected to Shreya because the friendship had been so organically put together and so even if their dynamic was shifting, she knew that would remain there because of who they both were as people. But she could tell that right now, he needed to talk about something else and she was willing to make that happen but it seemed like he had something else in mind which honestly had her insides fluttering even if she tried to remain as cool and collected as was physically possible. “I think I’d be more than okay with that actually,” she told him softly, her voice lower than before. “I’ll wear it with pride…for the most part, lekin agar zyaada hue toh…chhupana parega.”

Some people said that getting involved with friends was messy business and others thought that there was probably no better person to date than someone you connected with as a friend. Rajveer was finding himself in the latter category right now as they stood out there on the balcony alone. Nothing about this felt awkward in any sense. Maybe in that sense it was a little too good to be true, but he hoped Shreya would be honest with him if she ever felt like this wasn’t working for her. Judging by her response though, he was feeling like this was going exceptionally well. “I’m thinking…” he trailed off, tracing a faint line along the side of her neck. “Here.” He backed away, not in the mood to put on a show for his brother’s other guests. When the moment felt right Raj would leave her with that small memento of their evening together.

“No more running away,” she confirmed with a smile–aware that this could be the type of conversation most couples had after a breakup scare or something like that and here they were–on their first date talking about running off, thanks to her. She fell against him easily as he pulled her closer, listening quietly as he talked to her about how he’d gotten into the medicine field in the first place and about his father. She remained quiet, just listening to him and looking back up as he said what he needed to which had her clutching his hand and squeezing it once more, trying to remind him that he was strong. “I know…I get it, I don’t think it was weighing anything down of course, but yeah I think we’re already having a good time.” And in Shreya’s mind, talking about his father didn’t change that–if anything she felt almost a little closer to him because he was able to talk about it with her. “Hmmm what are some good first date conversations? I fee like we’ve had a lot of them already–as friends.”

“Good,” he nodded, clinking his glass against hers and taking a sip. It was sweet of her to think that he wasn’t bringing down their evening with all this talk of his father, but Rajveer knew how he could get when it came to the man he considered to be his idol. Once he got talking about his dad, he tended to go to a very emotional and oftentimes vulnerable place. It’s not that he wanted to hide that from her. If they were going to give this a shot and see where this went then that also meant accepting the bad with the good. He just didn’t think it had to be tonight on their first date. “Hmm…” He pushed a loose lock of her hair back behind her ear, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “Maybe we should discuss whether or not you’d be okay with me giving you a hickey to wear to work tomorrow.”

“Arre, I didn’t leave with that intention na Raj? That you’ll end up feeling my absence in that way.” That was honestly just the perk on top that he actually missed her and realized in missing her that he had actual feelings for her. He was definitely showing her on this date that it wasn’t something he was going to hide from people just because it was new–after all, he’d brought her to his brother’s place but that showed her that he wasn’t trying to keep her hidden and that made her feel quite happy. When she’d mentioned the bookshelves to him, she hadn’t missed the smirk on his face and couldn’t help but let out a soft giggle in reaction to that. He’d just looked so cute with that expression that it made her smile. As she asked the question, she realized that not only was that an incredible noble thought, but it was truly him doing something for the greater good and that just made her happier. “I can understand that, and it’s honestly…such a good thing that we need more of, doctors who really are able to spot all the symptoms and signs to something underlying that’s more serious.” She took a moment to squeeze his hand gently, “kitne saal ke the tum..jab tumhare papa ka...” she sighed, wondering just how long he was carrying this in his heart.

“It’s okay. Just no more running off please.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek, pulling her in closer to him as they stood out there on the balcony. They never really talked about his work like this. Raj never really had the chance to talk about it because nobody asked him like this. It was either that or they asked, but didn’t want the real answer. Nobody wanted to hear about a dead parent. They just wanted to hear about all the upbeat, inspirational parts. “Thanks… It’s only been a couple years actually. This was just before I started at the hospital. I was a resident.” Rajveer told her about the phone call he received from his mother in the middle of the night about his dad’s horrible headache and the next thing they knew he was on the floor. Gone. Raj sighed, following it up with a small smile. “I appreciate you asking, I do… I just don’t want to weigh down our first date with all this talk. I promise I’m an open book, but can we just focus on having a good time tonight?” 

“Same here,” she admitted before hearing his words about how he hadn’t realized the extent of whatever he felt for her until she’d disappeared the way she had. “So really what you’re saying to me is that absence made your heart grow fonder,” she chuckled at her own statement before deciding to kiss him again at his question. She wanted to find out where this could go, but on their own terms–without either of their mothers putting pressure on them because Shreya was sure that the minute her mother found out about her feelings for Raj–all hell would break loose. His words had her laughing out loud before she swatted his shoulder, “you’ll figure it out…and besides, there are a lot of high shelves in the store, we can always hide behind one if you need a quick fix,” she pursed her lips as if she was going to kiss him before blowing him a kiss and taking another sip from her drink while their casual conversation continued. It wasn’t until a little later that she asked him something she’d been wondering about for awhile, “how did you become a doctor? Not the education aspect but like–what made you choose this as your path?”

“I’m not sure why you had to make me realize it that way, but yeah…” Rajveer wasn’t typically the secretive type, but he knew the second his mother heard about this she would go insane. This was perhaps the ideal scenario and the ideal girl for him according to his mom. He was going to hold off on telling her though considering this was only their first date. He trusted Abhimanyu to keep things hush hush until he himself decided it was time to tell mom and bring her into the loop. He smirked, the man definitely looking forward to a few stolen kisses behind those bookshelves. Had she been thinking about that for some time now? He couldn’t help, but wonder. “I think originally it was always the idea of wanting to make my parents proud and becoming a doctor seemed like a good way to start. It was when my dad died though that I realized that I wanted to be the kind of doctor who made sure that none of the warning signs went ignored. I don’t want anyone else going through what my family went through.”

It was nice to see that she was able to surprise him and given the look on his face, she clearly had. She did have a lot of confidence internally–the only problem was that it sometimes hid away when she wasn’t sure of how open and honest she could be with a person. But with Rajveer, she was beginning to sense that most of her built walls were beginning to fade. “Good,” she retorted, inching one step closer to him, as if to only take in the view but really–that warmth she could feel from him was the other reason. It was why saying her confession in that moment came so naturally but of course his reaction had her laughing as well before shrugging. “I know, but…I haven’t felt this way about someone in a long time,” she admitted as he took her hand, their fingers interlocked as she spoke again, “I didn’t think you saw me that way at all so…” but her words were clearly gone from her mind as his lips descended upon hers. She’d dreamt about this moment and those dreams did not match up to the real feeling of being kissed by the good doctor at all. She kissed him back, tasting the gin on his lips, or maybe it was hers, as she allowed herself to give in to that moment before pulling back, her forehead resting against his for a second, needing to catch her breath. “At least we’re here now…” and within another moment she kissed him again, that confidence shooting through her as she made her feelings towards the man in question very clear.

“It’s okay… We’re both kind of feeling our way through this I think, but I’m liking what I’m feeling so far.” Her lips were soft and Raj felt the kind of rush of exhilaration one read about in books. It was definitely one heck of a first kiss. “I don’t think I realized that there was something there until you decided to disappear on me Shreya. The thought of not having you around kind of really sucks. I don’t know where this is going to take us, but I’m more than happy to find out if that’s okay with you.” And it looked like it was because she kissed him again, causing Rajveer to grin against her lips. “How am I supposed to focus at book club now?” he asked jokingly, sighing dramatically at his false dilemma.

“A gin and tonic sounds perfect to me too,” it was after all a drink that normally was made the same no matter where one went. Not to mention–she wasn’t in the mood for a beer tonight and while she didn’t mind wine, she loved reds and with this outfit–she didn’t trust herself. “I thought the saying was…the stronger the drink, the better it is?” She chuckled softly before giving him another smile as he handed her the drink as well and moved her out to the balcony. Abhimanyu had a beautiful place and she was glad Raj had asked her to join him tonight because no only did it give her a reason to step outside her four walls–but she also got to spend time with someone who had very quickly become someone she cared for. She was almost about to ask him if something was wrong until she realized just which line of hers he was quoting which had her chuckling softly, “I don’t think that means there is anything wrong with your eyes, they should be only on me,” she told him, pretending to be coy before she took a sip from her drink. “I came so close that night to telling you…that’s why I ran off,” she explained before looking back at him, this time allowing herself to say the words she’d tried to bite back before. “That whole thing I was saying that night about crushes and all…it was me trying to tell you that I liked you, but obviously I failed and hid because of shame.” 

Raj found his eyebrows shooting up at her response. This newfound confidence was a good look on her. The nervousness she mentioned a little while ago was clearly beginning to fade away, but he liked that things weren’t weird just because the dynamics of their relationships were seemingly beginning to shift. It only reassured him that asking her out tonight was a good decision on his part. “Don’t worry, they’re only on you. Trust me.” Raj took a sip of his drink, chuckling at her confession. “Shrey… if you had just stuck around I’m sure we could have avoided you going missing the last couple of weeks.” He took her hand, entwining their fingers, “We would have gotten here a lot sooner.” It definitely felt like the right moment to make a move, Raj truly finding himself lost in her deep brown gaze. It felt as good a time as any to share his first kiss with the beautiful petite bookworm.

Shreya couldn’t help the smile that was growing on her lips, this man was truly doing wonders for her ego and she felt happy and content. It was a very interesting feeling–one she hadn’t had for a while but she loved it. Shreya was introduced to Suhana and as they both spoke, it was clear to her also that Abhimanyu was completely enamoured with this woman and to see such a large man like that seemingly come to his knees in front of the woman he liked–it was sweet and Shreya was ready to tell him so–but in private. However she felt Raj nudge her and moved with him to head deeper inside and smiled at his words, “that’s true–promise you’ll keep me in check. Last time we shared a drink, I bolted for too long,” she chuckled, glad to be able to make a joke of it. And honestly–she had a feeling that tonight the admittance of what she’d been trying to tell him that Halloween night would be coming to the surface as well. “What are you planning on having?”

“Hm…” Raj looked at his options, glancing over the alcohol and settling on a tried and tested favorite. “I’m just going to have a gin and tonic. What about you? What do you want? Wine? Beer? I could fix something up for you really quick if you’d like.” He didn’t bother his brother considering the man was busy making his rounds and checking in on his other guests with his girl in tow.  “You can try mine,” he suggested, “But I tend to add an extra splash of gin in mine every time so it might be too strong. I don’t know, you might like it though.” Once they had their drinks, Raj led her out onto the balcony where they could have a little more privacy. He smiled at her, “You know… ‘I think there’s something wrong with my eyes. I just can’t take them off of you.’” Was he quoting her favorite pickup line that she shared with him on Halloween? Perhaps.

“You can say that, because you know me,” she told him with an eye roll before she realized his brother was fast approaching. Abhimanyu hugged his younger brother tightly, before laughing at the comment and shrugging, “you can say what you want–we all know you’re jealous of my height little brother,” he chuckled before shaking his head. “She likes my height, so that’s a plus in my mind,” he chuckled before Shreya went ahead and handed the bottle of wine over to him. “Thank you Miss. Sehgal, please come in and enjoy yourself, even if you’ve come along with him.” he pointed at his brother before seeing Suhana coming into view, “alright Raj, behave…I really like this girl,” he said in a softer voice before bringing Suhana over to meet his brother. Shreya was amused by this entire interaction, mainly because she had no siblings of her own. “Your brother looks smitten by her–she’s very pretty,” Shreya murmured softly before Suhana approached them and Abhimanyu introduced them all to one another.

“You’re just proving my point, Shreya. Maybe they don’t know you yet, but once they do they’ll think you’re great too.” And by the looks of her first conversation with his brother, Abhimanyu seemed rather impressed by his younger brother’s choice. Raj held up his hands in surrender, letting the other man know he wasn’t going to say anything too untoward about him in front of this woman he was seeing, but if she was interested in hearing embarrassing stories at some point tonight then Raj would happily oblige. She was beautiful of course, but most importantly, he could see the way his brother brightened up when she stepped up beside him. Raj introduced himself and his date, making small talk as he tried to get to know Suhana. She was a teacher and by the way Abhi was beaming at her, she must have been an amazing one if he was that proud. His brother had it bad. “It was nice to meet you Suhana. I’m just going to get something to drink,” he nudged Shreya, silently asking her to join him. “We’ve got all night to socialize. I want to have a drink with my date.”

Initially Shreya didn’t know if she felt drawn to Rajveer because of the fact that they had common things between them or because of his inherent personality. But with the more time she spent with him she realized it was definitely his personality and the way she felt like when he was with her–his attention was always captured by her. “You have no idea how much I love when others react the same way and love my little Snowy this much too,” she chuckled as she felt him hold her hand and allowed herself to relax. It was physical contact yes, but it wasn’t contact that made her uncomfortable in the slightest way because it was something she had wanted for longer than she’d allow herself to admit. As she got seated in his car, she watched him use his lint roller before she nodded and adjusted the stereo so that a radio station was on and played some popular tunes. Shreya had told herself to keep her expectations low for tonight but the way he not only quickly came over to her door to help her out, but even him taking her hand so easily as if it was something they both often did–she knew she was allowed to feel like this was an important night for him too. “I’m a bit nervous,” she admitted softly as they stepped into his older brother’s home. But quickly Abhimanyu appeared at the door, greeting Shreya with a hug and smiling at her. “Hi Shreya, welcome–you really are pocket-sized…aren’t you?” Shreya had no response to that statement, especially since the man in question was definitely taller than she’d expected.

“Don’t be. You’re great.” And he meant that. Even if tonight wasn’t a date and they were just hanging out as friends, he would have said the same thing because he believed it. Everyone would adore her, that much he was sure of. Rajveer gave his brother a hug as well, but rolled his eyes playfully at the comment directed at his date. “Yeah, well not all of us can be as tall as you Bigfoot. Where’s the girl you threw this party for? I’m dying to know what it is she sees in you.” He gave Shreya a little nod to hand over the bottle of wine, wanting her to have that moment with their host and his sibling. “Please tell me you have good food or I’m going to order takeout for everyone.” He could give his brother a hard time and not feel bad about it. It’s how they were with each other, but it was all in good fun.  

Shreya hadn’t noticed the way Rajveer’s gaze was following her steps and maybe that was a good thing. If she had noticed, she’d have wondered if perhaps the outfit was a tad bit too risqué for where they were headed tonight but she hadn’t so all was well. When she’d spotted his clothing, she’d realized she’d made the right choice in dressing up a bit–wanting to appear that she was suited to be his plus one, especially since they were heading over to his older brother’s place. She loved the way Rajveer didn’t even wait a second before scooping up Snowbell from her arms and relaxing her worries about getting fur on his clothes. It was adorable to watch the little kitten with Rajveer and she could only laugh at his statement as she held the kitten close once more, “why do you think it’s so hard for me to leave my house now? Who wants to leave when this little one is feeling all loving and adorable?” She kissed the kitten on the head and placed him down in his bed by the sofa before quickly closing the door behind her. “Alright–let’s go,” she made the move to clutch his arm, under the disguise of needing support in her heels of course as she let him lead her down to his car.

“I don’t blame you. Just when you think Snowbell can’t get any fluffier and adorable, he does.” Raj saw her try to loop her arm through his and took it one step further, holding her hand as he led her down the front steps and towards his car. He opened the door and let her get situated in the passenger’s seat, taking a quick minute to clean off the white cat fur from his blazer and getting into the driver’s seat. “Feel free to adjust the music if you’d like. You can be DJ.” It wasn’t like she hadn’t been in his car before, but tonight was remarkably different in a good way. The drive to his brother’s place was thankfully short, Raj pulling into a spot on the street right before the building. He grabbed a bottle of wine from the backseat; one he picked up on the way to Shreya’s. “I’ll let you give him that on our behalf,” he winked, getting out so he could rush over to her side and get her door for her. He reached out for her hand without hesitating as they made their way inside. 

Shreya had to admit that the look of astonishment on his face was doing wonders for her ego. She had known it was a good choice when she’d picked it out but his expression was definitely endorsement enough for her in that moment and she was pretty pleased with it. Hearing him pay her the same type of compliment back as she had done for him had her smiling even wider before she felt him lean in and kiss her cheek. That was new. That definitely hadn’t happened before, not in this way especially and she was ready for it. A faint blush still appeared on her cheeks though, precisely right where his lips had been because of course this was a big deal for her. “Yeah, let me just grab my purse,” she ducked in once more, grabbing her purse before of course little Snowbell decided to come and greet her second favourite human asides from Shreya. “Sorry–he just can’t be ignored like this,” she scooped up her little kitty cat and held him up to Rajveer. “I don’t want him to shed over your clothes but he wants to say hello…warna hum nikal nahi payenge.”

His eyes were following her as she stepped back inside to grab her purse. Raj too took a few steps in as he waited for her, the familiar sound of pitter patter and the jingling of a pet collar making him smile. Snowbell appeared, cooing and meowing for Rajveer to say hello. He couldn’t resist the adorable white cat as he took him from Shreya. “We’re good. I have a lint roller in the car.” Being a doctor meant making a lot of quick changes to go from work to other events quickly. He was typically prepared for any accident whether it was the occasional coffee spill or run-ins with adorable pets. “Hey Snowy… How’s it going?” The cat purred loudly, bumping his head against Raj’s chin and snuggling against him. “Okay, if he keeps this up, I’m not sure I’ll want to go anywhere.” He very gingerly handed the kitty back to Shreya and brushed off whatever fur he could see, figuring he could take care of the rest before getting in the car.

In the days leading up to Friday, Shreya would go home each night and tear her closet apart. It wasn’t like she had nothing to wear, she had good options, but every single day–one of the options seemed to be better than the next. Finally she’d opted for a classic white ensemble and kept her hair loose and tousled to give off the idea that while she’d tried hard to go for this look–it looked effortless in a way. When she heard the knock on her front door, she took a few seconds to take in a couple of deep breathes before finally making her way towards the door and pulling it open. The sight of him on the other side–was enough to make her clutch the door tightly. This man looked this good, for her? How was this even real life right now? She gave him a smile back before speaking, “hi–you look–really good.” The comment was honest and she hoped that it was appreciated because she was working hard at keeping things comfortable between them once more, the same way it was before she’d bolted in such a ridiculous manner.

Rajveer didn’t know what he was meant to be expecting, but when the door opened and Shreya came into view the smile on his face quickly morphed into a look of shock. It was unabashed and Raj didn’t realize he was staring until a few seconds of silence went by. “You look… great.” Great was a gross understatement. Shreya looked sexy and she’d gotten dolled up for him. He would have been happy with the many cozy outfits she wore to work on a daily basis, but was he disappointed? Of course not. Suddenly, he was feeling rather good about his own choice in clothing. He was going to look good on her arm. He took this moment to lean in and press a kiss to her cheek, once again making it clear that this was definitely a date. “You ready to go?” 

“You wouldn’t…” she chuckled before allowing herself to imagine that for a moment, the thought of this man who she was friends with–coming up to her parent’s house wondering where she was–it would stun them and she wasn’t even sure how she’d react. But it was amusing to say the least and she easily went along with him, knowing he was joking. “I will not disappear like that again, no matter what.” Shreya said quickly, allowing herself to hold that one sentence close to her heart–the fact that he missed her. For her, it wasn’t about the context, but the feeling and just to know that she’d made that much of an impact on his life that he missed her and had checked in at the store from time to time–it brought her a lot of happiness. She heard the bell ring and was about to hold up her fingers to tell him she’d be back but one of the other employees went ahead to ask the customer what they were looking for which left her to continue her conversation with Raj. “Ah okay,” she nodded as he explained that it wasn’t just a group thing but not just the four of them as well–that was okay, she was mainly just happy to be spending some more time with the person who’d clearly become important to her. But that was all before she heard his words and found herself looking at him in surprise for perhaps a moment too long. “A–date,” she repeated before nodding, forcing herself to appear as casual as she could, “you’re uh–asking me out on a date, and wondering if I’d be, yeah, I’d definitely be interested.” she replied–her gaze fluttering everywhere else, but unable to look at him directly.

She was flirting with him that night, wasn’t she? He wouldn’t be completely out of bounds if he asked her to join him as his date for a dinner party. Somewhere he figured out that she didn’t quite realize that Raj had been flirting back that night as well. Before their conversation could go anywhere though, she saw herself right out the door and out of town for what seemed like an eternity. “A date,” he repeated after her, wanting to make sure she knew that this was more than the two of them just tagging along to some party as friends. “Perfect,” he smiled, “I’ll pick you up at 7ish? It’s not anything super fancy, but you always look great so just use your best judgment I guess.” The bell above the door rang again which felt like the sound was now trying to interrupt their conversation. In all fairness, he did have to get back to work. “Alright, I have to head back to the hospital, but I will see you on Friday night.” He flashed her one last grin before making his way out of there.

Shreya listened as he expressed how her leaving left him there alone and that had been awkward but that almost made her want to ask if he’d left then or if he had stayed and made the most of the most crazy night of the year? But she kept that to herself, she didn’t have the right to ask such things and besides–it was stupid, so what if he did have fun himself that night? It wasn’t his fault that she’d run out of there–terrified at what she had come so close to admitting. “I am sorry for leaving you there and making that part awkward,” she told him before hearing him continue. The thought of moving without telling him had her laughing out loud before she shook her head, “I would’ve told you if I was planning on moving,” she said in what she hoped was a reassuring manner. “Itni buri nahi hoon main,” Shreya added before looking up when he mentioned having to ask her something. When he mentioned a dinner party and asking her to join him–it was definitely something she hadn’t expected. So far their meetings had all been either by fluke or group meetings and this felt a bit different, especially if Rajveer knew his brother was planning on impressing another woman there. “Would it just be…the four of us? Or like–it’s like a group thing?” Shreya didn’t know why she needed to ask, she wasn’t going to refuse either way. “I mean yeah I’ll come but…I was just curious…if I should like bring something or how it’s going to be…” 

“Oh thank god, warna main tumhare parents’ ke ghar ponch jata. I know where they live now, okay?” His classic crooked grin gave it away that he was messing with her. “But seriously, yaar… Don’t do that again. I missed you, you know.” The bell rang above the door, the sound almost comforting for Raj considering how much of his free time he spent in the place. Thankfully, one of the bookstore employees approached the new customer, leaving Shreya all to himself for the time being. “No, it won’t just be the four of us… but it’s not a group thing either.” Rajveer didn’t know how straightforward and obvious he had to be about what he was hinting at, but by the looks of it he just had to call it what it is. “I was thinking more along the lines of a date? If that’s something you’re interested in? If not then that’s-” not what I was hoping for. “-fine, but uh… yeah.” 

It wasn’t like it’d been easy enough for her to go without seeing Rajveer either, but she’d decided it was a necessity–especially with the way she was clearly making things messy while there was no need for it. But he was insisting for her to come out and say whatever she felt embarrassed about and while Shreya really didn’t want to, perhaps getting it out there would be good for both of them–it would clear the air and they could both go back to how things were before. “You’re sweet,” she told him softly before shaking her head, “basically all that stuff I was saying at Halloween–about having an ‘adult’ crush and all that. It was silly and I felt like I had made things awkward between us, that’s all.” Yet she couldn’t come out and put it in clear words that she meant her obvious crush on him but that was too much for her. “You didn’t do anything Raj, I swear it…please stop trying to take the blame where it’s not necessary. Tumne kuch ghalat nahi kiya tha, maine tumhari wajah se nahi kiya tha…it was just me being stuck in my head, promise.”

Rajveer didn’t want to assume that she was talking about him in case she felt that it might make things awkward. Was that what was going on here? She was embarrassed by her cheesy pickup lines? “You didn’t make things awkward at all actually. You left me there alone to wonder what had happened… Okay, so maybe it was a touch awkward at that point. I swear though, before that, not even a hint of awkwardness. Basically, you shouldn’t have left.” He chuckled, but shrugged it off regardless. “Trust me, there’s nothing to be stuck in your head about. I’m just glad to see you after so many weeks. I was worried you moved or something without telling me, but now that you’re here there’s actually something I’ve been wanting to ask you. My brother’s having this dinner party thing at his place. I don’t know, he’s probably trying to impress some chick, but I was wondering if you wanted to come with me? It's Friday night.”