⋆ ﾟ☁︎rainy☾ ﾟ⋆

You didn't know what to do. Your brain, although moving slower, was still just as dark, if not darker than before. You knew why, or at least you figured you knew why. They had to lower your antidepressants and it was having a bad effect on you. Then you were also having headaches again, the one you're having now has been there for four days and counting. You take your medications, the migraine medications, and they help for a bit but then the headache comes right back the next day. Some days you'll be woken up from your sleep because of how bad it hurts, you drag yourself to matts room, knocking on the door. He gives you your migraine medications and you go right back to bed.

You're struggling. You know you are. Physical therapy is hell. Therapy is also hell. You don't get it, you're doing everything you can to get better but you aren't. You understand things take time but it feels like you're running out of time. Fighting every single day against your own head, it's getting to the point you don't wanna fight anymore. Matt saw it, you drug your feet when you walked. Your smile appeared less. He hated it, but he stayed close by. If anything he was closer than ever now.

You were never alone, even when you were in your room in the dark, with a migraine. Matt was there, laying in bed next to you. He would stay in your room at night, lay in bed with you till you fell asleep. Sometimes he'd stay all night, sometimes he'd get up to go finish whatever work he might need to do. The date he wanted to plan was being pushed back further and further as he watched you decline.

Matt didn't like being away from you, seeing how bad you were doing, it made him scared. Scared that if he left you alone, something would happen. He's seen the scars on your body, he never commented on them, not like other people had. He just saw them, noted them and moved on. But he knew the slippery slope of self harm, how easy it is to fall back into it as a form of comfort. He just hoped you'd come to him first, but from last time when you broke down... he knew you wouldn't.

You hated asking for help, mostly because every time you've tried before you've been let down. So you never figured there was a point, you figured you could handle it all yourself because you had too. No one else should have to deal with this but yourself, that's what you thought. That's what you've been taught. You should be able to handle everything yourself, that's what your mind told you. And if you couldn't handle it yourself then you thought maybe you shouldn't be alive... especially since you felt you weren't equipped to handle everything going on, but you felt you didn't have a choice but to handle it alone.

You and Matt were in your room again, you had fallen asleep, arms wrapped tightly around the stuffed shark. Matt made sure you were asleep when he slipped out, he needed to do laundry and the dishes. He had been putting it off to keep an eye on you. He left the door open just enough so he could peak in. He got to work in the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible as he moved around, cleaning up the kitchen.

You woke up, you could hear him, and your head was hurting anyway. You laid there for a while, just holding onto your stuffed shark and burying your face in its fur, hoping you could just fall back asleep. But the thoughts sometimes never stopped. Swirling. Repeating. Night times were always the worst. Telling you you're worthless. That your life isn't worth living. That you deserve all of this and all the pain. You squeezed the stuffed shark as hard as you could, trying to put all your emotions into it. Your body shaking from the tight hold you had on the stuffed animal. Then you'd stop, you'd relax, then the thoughts would start again.

You tried to repeat the motions, just squeezing the shark, hoping everything would pass. Waiting for the emotions, the anger, the sadness, to subside, to pull back like a wave receding. But it wasn't passing, and the emotions were getting stronger, flooding your mind and body. You wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come, just leaving you shaking and angry. You hated this. You hated your brain. You hated how it never seemed to stop, ever.

You got up, you could hear Matt in the laundry room, you could hear him pressing the buttons, they made soft noises. You walked to your bathroom, trying to be as quiet as possible. You didn't shut the door fully, not wanting to make noise as you turned on the light. Your heart was racing, your hands were sweating, you were shaking. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. You keep repeating in your brain, telling yourself to stay strong.

But your hands are moving before your brain can process, opening the bathroom cabinets as you slowly, shakily getting down on your knees in front of the open cabinet, looking into the mess of items to find what you were looking for. You find the little box, then as you're reaching for it, you knock something over in the mess of your cabinets. You still immediately, hands on the little box as your heart raced so loud you could hear it in your ears.

Matt hears it, of course he does. He has special hearing for just this, for what might be in danger. So he runs, right from the laundry room and into your room. He pushes open the bathroom door, then he sees you, sitting on the floor, a little box in your shaking hands. You can't look up at him, your hands tighten around the box till your knuckles are white, praying he doesn't ask, praying he moves on. "Give me it." Matt says softly, but sternly.

A whimper comes from your throat as the tears well in your eyes, a lump in your throat. You shake your head, not moving, acting as if being completely still will make him move on. Matt is already moving. He's kneeling beside you, a hand on your shoulder, then his free hand is on the little box. "Let go." He said softly. He has a feeling he knows what he's gonna find, he's not angry, not disappointed, if anything he's just hurt you didn't run to him instead.

You reluctantly let go, putting your shaking hands down in your lap, gripping at your pajama pants, knuckles turning white again. Matt notices, he knows helping you right now is more important than opening that box. He sets the box on the bathroom counter. He grabbed both of your hands, "I need you to look at me." He said, sternly, letting you squeeze his hands. You turned, looking at him for a moment but it was hard, eye contact was hard sometimes especially in emotional moments. "Okay, that's okay. But.. you need to talk to me. You need to tell me when you have these urges. Y/n, I care about you. Please, you need to tell me." Matt said, his hands squeezing yours as he looked at you, watching you blink and the tears fall down your cheeks.

"You care." You said, not as a question, more to remind yourself that someone did in fact care. "I care more than you know.. so please... don't give up yet. Please, run to me.. okay? I'm here. I am here." Matt said, he spoke so clearly, so calmly, each word said with certainty. You let out a soft broken whimper, sometimes that's all you could do. "Let me care.. please.." Matt squeezed your hands again. You nodded, sometimes you didn't know what that meant, to let someone care. You don't know what that entailed. But you'd still try.

Finally, you gave into him, your hands letting go of him to wrap around him as you cried. "I've got you," Matt said softly, arms wrapping around you and pulling you close into his chest. He stroked your hair, gentle caresses as he held you close. You couldn't stop crying, it felt like everything was washing over you, your body shaking through sobs as Matt held you. He looked down at you, gently, he kissed the top of your head, "I'm here.." he said softly. You nodded in response, partly you were crying because of the relief, the relief of someone actually being there for you. It felt scary, knowing someone cared.. it brought back all the guilt.. the guilt of hurting someone you love because you're hurting yourself.

Matt held you close, never letting go of you until the cries calmed down and you finally pulled back, "Wanna go lay down?" Matt asked softly, looking down at you as you nodded. Matt nodded, standing up, gently helping you up with him. He glanced at the box on the counter, but he ignored it, leading you back to your bed. He got you laid down, moving to lay next to you, pulling you into his chest without a word. And you let him, crumbling into his chest, grabbing the stuffed shark and holding it between the two of you.

Silence fell over the two of you, but Matt's mind was running wild. He knew what might be in the box, but he needed to make sure there was nothing else. "Y/n.. I'm gonna have to take away any sharp objects.. okay?" He said softly and you nodded. "Take everything.. also anything to shave with.." you said softly and Matt nodded, his arms instinctively tightening around you. Like if holding you tighter would keep you together, would keep you safe. He made the mental note to grab all of it later, maybe in the morning. Right now, you were the most important thing on his mind. He held you all night, never letting go. You eventually fell asleep, tear stained cheeks and breathing through your mouth from your stuffed up nose. He'd hear you sniffle every now and then in your sleep. But it made him calm, knowing you were asleep and safe in his arms.

a/n: hi my lovelies! I missed you! I'm sorry I've been like not writing, i have been out of a certain medication and it's making my life so fucking annoying and hard. but I really want to write more for this, i just have to get my brain to like lock in.. it's a struggle but i hope to write some happier stuff soon... not to spoil but im hoping to write their first date soon! Hoping i can lock in and make something cute and happy for you guys! I love yall! i hope you guys enjoyed! Stay strong and keep fighting my lovelies! You all deserve to live and enjoy life. Please leave a comment if you'd like i love talking to yall and seeing yall!

Matt had dropped you off at Mouse's place for the evening, he thought it was a great idea for you to get out and just be with a friend. He was anxious about leaving you, but he made sure you had everything you could possibly need and Mouse was a great friend for you. Matt had texted Chris, asking if he was free and if he could come over to talk. His mind was a mess, ever since that night.. when he realized what your dreams actually were. He never knew you thought about him like that but now that he did know he felt like he knew some dirty little secret. He felt guilty. So guilty.

He pulled up to the house, getting out and walking inside. Chris was sitting on the couch, watching basketball. "Hey, welcome home buddy." Chris said, pausing the basketball game as Matt walked in, tossing his keys on the table before sitting on the couch, next to Chris. He put his face in his hands, he sighed and Chris watched him. "What's wrong?" Chris asked, looking over at his clearly stressed brother. "Everything... nothing? I don't know. We- we like slept together.. not in that way. Just, we were cuddling, she had a really bad night and I just held her and she fell asleep... but then.. she had a wet dream.." Matt said, rubbing his hands over his face, as he turned red with embarrassment. He felt bad for even telling his brother but he needed advice.

Chris was surprised, "wow.." he said softly, rubbing his hands together as he tried to think. "That's.. that's tough.. but she likes you.. so that's good right?" Chris said and Matt sighed. "I think.. I'm pretty sure she likes me but at the same time I don't know. I don't want to be wrong.." Matt said, obviously just anxious, scared of being rejected. "Matt.. you two cuddle together all the time.. hold hands... she likes you. You like her. I think maybe.. you should do something about it?" Chris said, making it sound so simple.

But in Matt's brain it was anything but simple. His anxiety makes everything a million times harder. He didn't wanna mess up, he didn't wanna push too far, he didn't want to lose you or this job. It was so risky, and he wasn't sure if he was willing to risk it. "Matt, stop overthinking it." Chris said, Matt sighed at that, rolling his eyes. It was never that simple but it was something people loved to say. "I wish I could Chris. But it's not that simple. If I make a move.. she rejects me, then what? I mess everything up." Matt said, rubbing his hands over his face again.

"And what if you make a move.. and it works out? And she reciprocates and you two fall in love and live happily ever after?" Chris asked, making Matt look over at him like he was crazy. "Take a chance, take the risk. Fuck it." Chris shrugged as Matt stared at him. "Stop looking at me like I'm crazy. Just trust me on this." Chris added and Matt finally nodded. He relaxed his shoulders as he sighed. Maybe he would do it, maybe he would ask you out. But he wanted it to be perfect, your version of perfect.

"You're one to talk.. aren't you swearing off girls?" Matt asked, making Chris wave him off as he turned back on the basketball game. Matt just sighed, they were done talking, that was a tell-tale sign from Chris that he was done talking, he said what needed to be said. Matt took the time to plan the date in his head. He debated a lot of things, a dinner date was out of the question, a movie date seemed lame. But then he remembered.. the fair. A fair would be fun and he was gonna work up the courage to tell you. To tell you the truth and how much he really liked you.

He picked you up a bit early from Mouse's house, your head was hurting really bad and needed to go home. Mouse always understood and Matt was immediately taking you home after making sure you took the needed medications and drank enough water. He got you home, back in bed where you laid down and just shut your eyes, hoping for the headache to go away. Matt took care of you, remembering how your physical therapist had things for you to try. An ice pack on your upper neck, something to add pressure to certain points along with ice to help.

He came into your room, seeing you laying there in the dark with your arm over your eyes for added pressure and to keep any light out. "Hey.. got you an ice pack." Matt said softly. You moved your arm, eyebrows furrowed as you looked at him. "Let's put this on your neck, I'm gonna get you some liquid IV, okay?" He said, gently placing the ice pack where it was supposed to be on your neck as you laid back against it, the pressure and cold felt nice on your neck. "I'll be back," Matt said softly, leaving your room to get you some water with a Liquid IV pack in it. You put your arm back over your eyes as you sighed.

Matt shook up the water bottle as he came back, "Drink this when you can.." he said softly, placing the drink down on your bedside table next to your water bottle. You reached your free hand out, "can you stay?" You asked softly. Matt nodded, he looked around, he wasn't sure where you wanted him. But then you started scooting over, giving him free space in the bed. He grabbed the ice pack for you, moving it back behind your neck before he got into the bed. He laid next to you, just looking over at you, your arm over your eyes.

He took initiative, grabbing your free hand and intertwining your fingers. Your hand rested in his, you didn't pull away but felt too weak to exactly hold his hand back. He understood, it didn't hurt him, he just gave your hand a little squeeze and let you rest. He stayed quiet, you focused on his breathing pattern. You followed it, till your breathing was in sync with his. Your headache faded with time, but Matt never left your side.

A/n: I'm sorry I'm losing motivation I'm sorry I just feel like this is shit and no one cares anymore idk im just struggling im sorry ill keep trying because i love yall

You go to the door and open it, and he gives you a shy smile that makes the butterflies flutter in your stomach. The silence isn’t tense or awkward. It’s filled with hope and a quiet understanding. It’s like when you get a new book, and you pause before opening the first page, letting that excitement of what can be consume you.

“Hey you, ready for the circus?” you ask, grinning as you slip your lanyard around your neck. Matt chuckles and holds the coffee out to you, his hands slightly shaking. Probably from nerves.

“Only if you promise not to let the kids eat me alive.”

You giggle softly and take the cup. Your hand brushes against his for a second, and you feel a flash of heat go through you. You look at him, both of you staring for a moment too long. You shake your head and step aside to let him inside, the two of you walking into the class before the chaos really begins. Matt is a gentleman, grabbing the morning work from you and gently placing it on each desk. You watch him quietly and sip your coffee, your heart filling with warmth at how sweet this moment looks to you.

The day is a flurry of bright color, every moment just a bit better with Matt next to you. He doesn’t hesitate to join in, helping with the morning work, rotating between the kids' morning centers, and pulling a small group to reteach them a skill from the math lesson. Even though he was excited, he still spent the first hour glancing over at you for reassurance. Once he realized the kids were gravitating to him on their own, it was like every insecurity disappeared.

During their independent work time, a little girl comes up and tugs your arm softly. When you look down, she is showing you her handwriting. You smile wide, high-five her, and then give her a big hug. Matt watches you as you interact with the student, his eyes full of admiration and wonder as he sees you talk to her. When the little girl goes back to her desk, you turn around and catch him staring at you. You blush a deep red and smile. The butterflies fill your stomach once again. His presence is a grounding comfort for you. You normally don’t like other people in your classroom, but with Matt it just feels different, like there is less anxiety within you.

Right before lunch, you see him working with Finn and Parker on a tricky math problem, all three heads bent close together. You quietly let out a quick giggle. Matt and Finn’s brows are furrowed, and they have never looked more identical than right now. You watch as Matt starts pointing out something and see Finn and Parker both go wide-eyed like they finally understand. Your heart fills with warmth, letting you wonder if this is what having a family could feel and look like. The kids spend the rest of the morning gravitating to him, wanting his input instead of yours, which is more than okay with you. You get to watch him laugh and see how patient he is with the first graders. He makes what is sometimes hard work for you seem so easy, and you realize that means more to you than anything.

Lunch is always considered a chaotic part of the day. The cafeteria is filled with loud laughter, trays hitting tables, and lunch ladies yelling out what they are serving. You grab Matt’s hand after you both grab some food and drag him to the lovely solitude that is the teacher’s lounge. You find a table and sit down, your team slowly joining you both.

“And who is this?” one of your teammates asked. She was smiling softly.

“Oh, Natasha, this is Matt. He’s Finn’s dad. He came up to help around my class today. Matt, this is Natasha. She was the first one to ever welcome me on campus.” You say softly, smiling as you watch them shake hands.

As lunch progresses, you both share stories and jokes with your team, laughing as they tell you horror stories about the children they used to have and warming your heart as they share happy stories they have. Eventually, everyone kind of just goes into smaller groups for talking. You look at Matt and smile.

You two talk about everything from your favorite thing to teach, how you feel about state tests, Finn’s newest dinosaur obsession, and finally your favorite thing to do at home to calm you down after a really long day of work. Talking to Matt feels easy—light, almost in a way. You don’t feel like you have to put on this performance. It’s nice, for once, to experience that.

After lunch, you grab the kids and the afternoon is a complete whirlwind. You go from lunch to specials, then from specials you teach science for thirty minutes, then you take them to a last fifteen-minute recess. You all come back, pack up, and then dismiss. Kids are moving fast. You have this down to a method. Matt is standing there, a look of pure shock and amazement as he watches the tiny bodies move fast but efficiently.

The last bell rings, and there’s an explosion of children in the hallways. While you follow them out to make sure they go home the correct way, Matt stays behind and starts to tidy up the classroom. He wipes the desks down, cleans up the little reading nook, puts the science equipment back into the cabinet, and then finally tackles the arts center. A swarm of glitter covers his arm afterward. As you come back in from your duty, you laugh lightly at how much he is sparkling. You go over and brush his arm gently. For a moment, you both freeze. You suddenly feel nervous from the unspoken tension in the air.

You shake your head, killing the moment briefly. “Uh, Finn is out front. He wants to say goodbye to you.”

Matt clears his throat and nods. “Y—yeah, uh, let me just go do that.”

He walks out of the classroom, and you let out a loud sigh. When Matt comes back, he smiles softly and grabs his keys from your desk. The air changes. It’s soft again. Easy.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah. But do you mind if I go home and change? I don’t really feel like my school shirt and jeans fit a date vibe.” You look down and back up at him, smiling.

Matt nods. You both decide to go home and change, and he will come to your house to pick you up. You both leave the school and stop at your car. Matt stares at you for a moment before a soft blush covers his cheeks. He subconsciously pushes some hair behind your ear before freezing like a deer in headlights. You blush a deep red and giggle nervously.

“I— uh, will see you in a few, yeah?” You choke out, not sure what else to say.

Matt shakes his head yes fast. “Yeah. I’ll come get you in like 20? Is that enough time?”

“That’s perfect. See you then.” You hug him gently and get into your car.

About 20 minutes later, you hear a knock on your front door. You give yourself a last look in your mirror and smile. The dress fits you nicely and will work great in a dinner situation. As you walk to the front door, you grab your purse and take a deep breath. It’s just another date. You already went on one with him before. But the butterflies are in full force tonight. For some reason, this date feels more important for the two of you, like it’s really setting this relationship in stone. You walk out the door with Matt, ready to see what tonight holds.

The drive is calm, soft music playing from the speakers. Matt has one hand on the wheel. The other rests lightly on your thigh. His thumb rubs soft circles into it. A small smile forms on your face at the gesture. It seems almost natural for him to do it. At a red light, he looks over at you. His eyes roam your body. When he looks back at you, he smirks lightly and continues driving as the light turns green. Whatever just happened makes your body feel warm.

“You look really beautiful tonight.” He says softly.

You blush and look at him. “Thank you. I wanted to make sure I looked my best for this date.”

He chuckles softly and nods. “I think you always look beautiful, but I really like that dress on you.”

You start to say something back, but he pulls up to a nearby restaurant, and you gasp. It’s one you’ve only ever heard good things about but have never had a good excuse to try, seeing as it’s fancier than most. As Matt parks, he jumps out of the car and goes to your side, opening the door for you. It’s old-fashioned, but you love it. You’ve never had someone do that for you before. Matt takes your hand and intertwines it with his, and you both walk in.

The place is beautiful. It’s like an atrium, inside but outside because of the mesh and windowed roof. There are trees all inside the restaurant, and the tables and chairs are made of a lighter wood. Soft candles light the center of the tables, giving the whole area a soft and romantic feel. It’s breathtaking, and as you look around, you are secretly happy that Matt chose this place.

Matt pulls your chair out for you, and you take a seat, whispering a soft thank you to him. Once he sits down, the conversation just flows, full of laughter, brightness, and simply enjoying each other’s company. You range from childhood memories and favorite books to silly stories about students you have, and Matt even shares an early story of Finn that has both of you in tears from laughing so hard.

The conversation lulls for a moment, but it’s not an awkward silence. Just something calm and peaceful. Matt leans across the table, eyes bright and happy, and says, “I could get used to this.”

You pause and stare at him. “What do you mean?”

He shrugs and smiles. “I mean I could get used to going on dates with you, laughing until we cry, just being with you.”

Something in your heart warms. You’ve never experienced someone truly wanting to be with you like this. He’s as invested in this forming relationship as you are, not running from you but towards you. Towards something more. Your eyes glisten from tears that have formed. Clearing your throat, you finally speak.

“I hope I never have to find out what it’s like to not do this with you.”

This time Matt freezes. He studies you for a moment, then grabs your hands and holds them on the table. His thumbs rub soft circles on your palms. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t really have to. You know that what you said means so much to him, and that you're finally on the same page about this.

Before Matt can say anything, the waiter comes to your table. Matt orders for both of you, not because you couldn’t, but because he was telling you about this amazing dish they have, and it made you excited to try it. When it comes out, you both eat in silence for the first few minutes, just enjoying the food and the vibe of this date and place. Halfway through, though, Matt asks you a question, his voice soft but steady.

“What do you think about us telling Finn?”

You pause halfway through eating. You think for a moment. Taking a sip of water, you grab his hand and look at him.

“I think if this is real, and we are both serious about this, then we should tell him. He deserves to know about changes that happen in your life since you’re all he has here. I don’t think letting him find out on his own will go well. He loves you, and I think it should happen.”

He takes a bite of his food and squeezes your hand gently. His eyes never leave yours for even a moment.

“I’m scared he will not be okay with it. His mom did so much damage to him. I dont want him to think it’ll happen again. But I want you. This. Us.” Matt whispers softly, a small look of conflict crossing his face.

“And he might get upset. He might not understand. That’s okay. Or he might be happy and excited about it. Either way, I don’t think it should be a secret to him that we are seeing each other as more than friends.” You say softly.

As Matt nods and keeps quietly eating, you picture sweet little Finn. When you tell him, his blue eyes will go wide, and you’ll see the cute little grin. This moment could mean more than either of you know. Something in your mind just clicks. For once, it all fits. There’s nothing left to figure out. You want Matt, but you also want Finn. The idea makes you smile. You both finish dinner and dessert, and you slowly walk out of the restaurant. Matt swings your hands, and there is a big grin on his face. It makes you giggle. He looks at you and smirks.

“What’s so funny?”

You shrug playfully and face him. “Nothing. Just happy. Are we really going to do this?”

“Yes. I want you to be my girlfriend. No more overthinking. No pulling away. Just us… and occasionally Finn.” He says with confidence.

You don’t say anything, even though you want to burst into a dance and scream from the overload of happiness that you feel. Instead, you both walk to the car. The sun has set, and there is a light breeze flowing through the air. Before you climb in, Matt stands close to you. His hand comes up and pushes some hair behind your ear again, giving you that crazy butterfly feeling. His eyes are a mix of nervousness and excitement, his hands stuffed in his pockets, and he's just looking at you.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper, his eyes going from your lips to your eyes.

You step closer and smile. “I’d be so upset if you didn’t.”

He gently grabs your waist and pulls you closer. His lips meet yours. The kiss is soft and hesitant at first. Like he’s making sure this is truly what you want from him, as soon as you kiss him back, he relaxes in the moment. It’s gentle and full of unspoken promises. It makes hope fill your chest and spread through your body. When you pull away, you are both smiling widely, sharing a warm glance with each other over the fact that you both finally did something you both wanted to for a while now.

“Have I mentioned how much I really like you?” Matt asks.

You laugh and roll your eyes at how cheesy that sounded. But you can’t help how your heart is beating like crazy.

“Yeah, I think you’ve told me once or twice”

Both of you smile and let out soft laughs. Matt stops it by kissing you again, still gentle and careful like you’re something precious. You swear that when he kisses you, it feels like you’re floating. It feels so right. When you pull away this time, Matt opens your door, and you get into the car. The drive home holds a different feeling now. There isn’t a nervous tension anymore, just peace and excitement for what’s to come.

M yaps: The break was needed, again to everyone with the kind words. Thank you.. I'm so glad to be back. AHH THEY KISSED.

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As always: Have a great day, be kind -M

Things had been hard, so hard. You got better physically, the vomiting got better because you were eating somewhat properly and taking nausea medications on time but the problem was your depression. Your anger. Your mental health was struggling. The anxiety and OCD was better because of the new medications but you had to lower your antidepressants and it was really affecting you. Especially with all these confusing feelings with Matt, you were struggling so hard.

You didn't know what to do. You were isolating. You weren't talking to friends. You weren't getting out of bed to play games. You were ignoring Matt. It was all building up, you knew it was. Not even the weekly therapy sessions were helping right now, you needed more but you didn't know how to ask for more help and you were too scared to talk to Matt. Ever since he said your dreams would never happen, and though you knew he meant well, it still hurt you so much and made you not want to talk to him at all.

Matt noticed and he hated it. He kept trying to drag you out of your room, bring you to the living room to watch tv but you never lasted long. You got antsy, you got anxious, you just wanted to get back in bed and Matt let you despite maybe your best interest. So you'd just lay in bed, most times you'd lay in the dark, try and sleep but your mind would never turn off. It never turned off and it was driving you crazy. You were so thankful the thoughts were moving slower, repeating less but they were still there. Some intrusive thoughts still poking through every now and then.

Night time was the worst, you tried so hard to go to sleep early so you could ignore all the thoughts, the anger, the urges. But tonight it wasn't working and you didn't know why. You tried what would usually work, repeating lyrics in your head, tapping rhythms with your fingers, anything to make the thoughts stop. But they wouldn't, then the tears started. You hadn't cried in so long, and you didn't know how to handle it. All the emotions just come over you like waves, crashing over you and making you cry, sob, clutch at the sheets as you try to calm down.

Matt heard the first sob, he froze in his spot in the living room. He moved slowly, then he heard the second broken sob, followed by a soft whimper. He knew something was wrong. He walked faster to your room, knocking then opening the door. He saw you, laying there, curling into a ball, rocking slightly and gripping the sheets. You whimpered, seeing him and burying your face in the pillows. "Okay, hey, I'm here.." Matt said softly, moving over to the side of your bed, he kneeled down. He was slow, his hand reaching out to gently push the hair from your face, gently stroking the side of your head till you removed your face from the pillow.

You brought your hand up, grabbing his. Matt let you, he let you use both hands to grab his hand. You squeezed it, holding it to your chest as you cried. "I know, I know.. I'm here," Matt said softly, bringing his free hand up to stroke your hair, a comforting motion. "We don't have to talk.. I can just be here.." Matt added, he felt the way you'd squeeze his hand, then slowly let go, then squeeze it again. Like a wave, slowly building up, crashing down then pulling back again. Over and over again, you continued to cry. You didn't know how to explain your emotions. The only thing that came out was a broken, "I'm sorry."

Matt immediately shook his head, "hey, no.. you have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing at all. Tell me what you need, and if you can't say it then just guide me. Okay?" Matt said softly, continuing to stroke your hair gently, soothingly. You nodded, didn't think twice when you used his hand to pull him closer, scooting further into the middle of the bed. Matt nodded, standing up and getting right into your bed, no questions asked. He let you move, waiting for you to guide him to where you felt comfortable. You curled into his chest, still holding onto one of his arms, holding his hand close to your chest. Your ear was against his chest, Matt tried to keep his heart calm, steady, but it was beating fast. He just hoped you wouldn't comment on it. Then he wrapped his arm around you, "is this okay?" He asked and you nodded. That was all he needed, he held you close with his one arm.

Your sobs calmed down after a while, you continued to hold his hand to your chest, listening to his heart beat as it finally slowed down. Your eyes closed, taking deep breaths, Matt started to count softly for you, "one... two.. three.. four... hold it.. one.. two.. three... four... breathe out... one... two.. three.. four.." Matt counted, and counted and counted. He didn't care how long it took, he did it until you finally breathed out shakily, then spoke. "I-I wanted to hurt myself.." you admitted. Matt's heart broke at that, but he was so thankful that he was there.

He nodded slowly, "and you didn't. I'm so proud of you." He said, looking down at you, your eyes still closed as you breathed softly. "I just want it to stop.. I need it to stop.." your voice cracked and Matt's heart broke further. He understood that feeling, how hard it could be. "I know.." was all Matt could say. He pulled you closer as you squeezed his hand. He didn't know what to say, he wished he did. "I am proud of you... you calmed down.. you did what you needed. You did it without even talking. That's so amazing." Matt said, hoping you understood how proud of you that he was.

You didn't respond, but you nodded in acknowledgment. You felt tired, angry, so angry. You never understood the anger, where it came from. All you knew was that you'd take it out on yourself. Matt could feel the rhythmic squeezing of his hand. "Talk to me.." Matt said softly. Your eyes opened, you looked up at him to find him already looking down at you. "I'll listen.." he added. "I-I'm just angry.. so angry.. at everything.. at everyone I guess. And I don't know what to do with this anger.. my therapist tells me to do jumping jacks.. which I appreciate her but that's not something I can do... so I resort to hurting myself in some way." You admitted. Matt nodded, listening to you speak.

"Does squeezing my hand help?" He asked. You shrugged, "a little.. but I don't wanna hurt you." You said softly. Matt smiled a little, making your brows furrow. "You won't hurt me, okay? Try to." Matt said. You shook your head, "what? No.." you said. Matt shook his head, "squeeze as hard as you can.. just try. Put all your emotions into it." He said, you took a deep breath. You sighed but then nodded. You squeezed Matt's hand, squeezing till your hands shook, your whole body tensing as you put your all into it. Matt let you, and it didn't hurt. It was pressure, but it didn't hurt, he knew you were weak. Then you relaxed, letting out a deep breath as you looked up at Matt. "Didn't hurt. So you can squeeze my hand whenever you need. Okay? If I'm not around then we'll find you like a stuffed animal or squishy toy, okay?" He said and you nodded. You weren't sure if it was gonna work but you'd try. Even just squeezing his hand then helped a little.

You laid with Matt, his arm wrapped around you, his hand gently rubbing your back in circles. You held onto his hand with both your hands still, holding it to your chest. Your head rested against his chest, listening to his heart beat, his steady breathing. It was calming, more calming then any sort of rain sounds or white noise playing. You were starting to fall asleep, but you didn't want Matt to leave. You didn't think you could handle him leaving. He could feel the way you would start to relax, then wake yourself back up and squeeze his hand again. "Just sleep, it's okay.. I'll stay. I'm comfortable." Matt said softly. That was all you needed, you nodded. You slowly drifted off, listening to his heart beat. He held you close, he had nowhere else he'd rather be.

As you slept, Matt felt every shift, heard every soft hum. But you never let go of his hand. Even when you turned over, your back facing him, you kept a hold on his hand. He tried to sleep, but he couldn't. Part of him didn't even want to sleep anyways, he wanted to stay up, wanted to watch you and make sure you were okay. He wanted to make sure you had no nightmares, none of those weird dreams you told him about that seemed to bother you so much. He didn't know what they were, what they entailed but he knew what he said made you upset and he still wanted to apologize.

In the middle of your sleep, he felt you clutch his hand, he tensed up slightly, more alert. He was going to comfort you, then he heard the soft whimper. He didn't understand because it wasn't the same type of whimper from earlier, not the broken hearted, painful whimper, this was different. Since you were still holding onto his hand, his chest was pressed against your back. Then he felt it, the press of your hips back against him, an unconscious movement followed by that same whimper.

Then it clicked in his brain, this was the weird dreams you were so ashamed of. Wet dreams. His eyes widened and he squeezed his eyes shut, he was praying to himself, hoping to god he wouldn't get hard. He could not get hard. His heart was racing, then he felt you move your hips forward, no longer pressed against him and he let out the softest sigh. He felt bad, he could hear the soft whimpers, soft moans, he could see the way your legs were rubbing together. He was just so thankful you pulled away from him.

His heart was racing, he could feel you squeezing his hand and holding it close as your whimpers got closer together. He had to keep his eyes shut, trying to keep it respectful and not watch, not stare. His job had never felt harder than in this moment. Then you gasped, your eyes opening and your whole body tensing as you started to move. Matt kept his eyes closed, he did not need you to know that he knew. He could feel you moving, he didn't know what you were doing but you let go of his hand.

You scooted a little further away from him, grabbing the stuffed shark and holding it against your chest, arms wrapping around it. Your heart was racing, you were sweaty. You could feel the wetness between your legs, the worst part is, you didn't even cum and you felt so embarrassed with the worst ache between your legs. You didn't know if Matt was awake or asleep but you were too tired to question it. You just curled up with your shark, facing away from Matt as you fell back asleep.

Matt was thankful, thankful you just went right back to sleep. But his heart was racing, his throat was dry and he was unfortunately hard. He moved to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He was going to text Chris about this tomorrow. He had no clue what to do.

It had been a long time since you had a weird dream, but to be fair you haven't been sleeping well since being off sleeping medications. Your psychiatrist said you could take melatonin again... but with melatonin came the weird... very sexual dreams. You've had them a lot before, sometimes they were scary, violent, still sexual, it made no sense. But they stopped, but now they are back. And they were about Matt. Matt of all people. To be fair, you preferred it over the weird ones with friends and former coworkers you had no attraction to.. but it still made you feel weird around him.

The worst part is they were so vivid, so very vivid. You could feel his hands on you, his body over yours, the weight of him pressed against you. You felt it all. You felt the pressure between your legs, of him entering you, it scared you awake, your brain thinking it was real. But it wasn't, you woke up alone, sweating, and an ache between your legs that felt so shameful. Matt wasn't in there, of course he wasn't. He would never do that in his life and you cursed your brain for thinking he would ever do that. Your OCD was evil and you knew that.

But it made you timid, it made you scared. You knew you liked him, you just didn't realize it was to that extent. You knew you wanted to kiss him but the thought of having sex with him never crossed your mind till the dreams started. And it all just felt so real, his lips against yours, his hands on your waist pulling you impossibly closer till you melted into him. Now, everything felt so much more than it was.

Matt noticed, of course he did. You'd still take his hands to stand but you'd quickly pull away. You wouldn't let him touch your knee braces, only when you were super tired. You'd still sit next to each other on the couch, and on days when you were too tired, you'd rest against him. Your head on his shoulder, but that was about it. You pulled back, he didn't know why and he constantly was overthinking it, thinking it was him. That he did something wrong. He didn't want to do anything wrong.

You knew you were just a human, having human emotions but it didn't make you feel any less shameful. And bath times were the worst, you felt so embarrassed, the thoughts that would come to mind about him. But he was always so respectful of you, keeping his eyes on your face, or staring off at the wall. You always wondered what he thought about, wondering if he ever thought about you. You wonder if he ever glanced over, if he ever looked at you. You never noticed him looking, never inappropriately.

You didn't know what to do. So, as you sat on your bed, you texted mouse. "I need help... lowkey this is tmi but I keep having sex dreams about Matt." You said, biting down on your bottom lip as you anxiously waited for her response.

She was always quick to respond to you, thankfully. "What the fuck do you mean?! What happened??? Was it good? Was he good? Wait, you've had multiple!!!!" Mouse texted back, you could tell she was probably giggling and smiling.

You couldn't help but smile and blush in embarrassment, "Just... I don't know... just us having sex or making out with each other or just even touching.. It's a lot. It feels so real.." you responded, too embarrassed to go into detail about how you could feel it... all of it.

She responded immediately, "does he talk dirty?" She asked, making you giggle to yourself.

"Quit that. I'm being serious. I feel so awkward around him.." you said, sighing softly, hoping Matt didn't hear from wherever he was or you knew he'd come running to check on you.

"Why? Just tell him you like him.. what's so wrong about that?" Mouse texted back making you sigh once more, very softly. You felt like there were a million reasons you couldn't tell Matt. You were so scared. You didn't know what it would mean and you've never been someone to make the first move.

"Yeah.. maybe.." you texted back, mouse knew what that meant. You were listening to her advice but weren't going to take it. You tended to just ignore things, you knew you shouldn't but when things seemed too complicated you almost didn't want to deal with them. You were oblivious to the effect your actions may have on Matt. Not that you didn't think about it but because you figured he didn't care. You never believed someone could like you.

Matt didn't know what to do and talking to you was hard. Because you were close, close to being back to normal but it's like you'd pull yourself back. You'd stop yourself from anything and he didn't know why. He never asked you to stop, he never wanted you to stop. He was frustrated, admittedly. He didn't know what to do and he didn't quite understand you like he thought he did, at least not at the moment.

You didn't know how to talk to Matt, about anything really. You were bad at talking to people, you never let people get close because you saw how they'd leave. They couldn't handle your illness no matter how hard they tried but it seemed like Matt could. He made it seem so simple and you didn't understand how. But it didn't make you any less scared, you still doubted he liked you. Your brain told you repeatedly he never could and you weren't going to fight it if you didn't know for sure that he did like you. So you just assumed he didn't, that everything he did was just because he was kind, not because he liked you or anything.

You debated it, for a long time, telling Matt that you've been having weird dreams about him and that's why you've been acting so weird, if he even noticed. You were just anxious, scared that admitting to the dreams meant admitting something more to him. But... you decided to do it, and maybe it was a dumb idea but you did it anyway.

Matt was in the kitchen, doing the dishes when you walked out, sitting at the kitchen table and watching him. "Hey," he said softly, it was all he said, like he was too scared to say anything else, ask anything else. "I'm really sorry.. I've been acting weird.. I just uh.." you looked down, avoiding eye contact as Matt turned to face you, nodding at you to continue to talk and that he was listening. "I've been having weird dreams.. and I've been having them about you.. so I'm sorry." You said softly.

Matt's shoulders relaxed, he was instantly relieved that he hadn't done anything wrong. But he felt bad, bad about whatever he may be doing in your dreams to make you uncomfortable. His mind immediately went to he murdered someone in your dream. "I'm sorry.. but whatever it was.. it's not real.. okay? It'll never be real." He said. Then your face fell, and he noticed. His lips formed into a thin line when he realized he said something wrong. "Hey, I'm sorry." Matt said softly.

You just nodded, standing up and walking back to your room and getting back in bed. You almost cried, but you stopped yourself. You tried to tell yourself it wasn't that deep, that he didn't know and he was just worried and trying to comfort you. But it didn't make it hurt any less. You held onto your stuffed shark, burying your face in it as you groaned. You felt so confused.

A/n: I hope yall enjoyed this, I'm sorry if it's not what you expected but i literally go through this so yeah it's just my experience and stuff so yeah idk I hope yall liked it.. there's more coming! I'm excited! Yippee!!!

Things got a bit rough, you didn't know why. You never understood why. Mentally, you felt better but your body didn't want to keep up. The day was hard, physical therapy was hard, you almost passed out and threw up. Your physical therapist said that'll happen with POTs and to just take as many breaks as you needed. But it was still hard. Then you had a phone call with your dad, it was rough to say the least. He kept asking when you'd find a job, he'd say "but I thought you were getting better" and it just hurt. It's like he couldn't comprehend this was a life long thing, not just for a few weeks then you get better. You wish you could explain to him but it never worked out.. you even took him to therapy once and after therapy they just suggested you keep your distance and stop telling him about your health.. but he would ask so you felt you had to tell him.

But the phone call ended, you couldn't even cry. You just felt numb, hiding out in your room, just sitting in the dark. The medications definitely helped, used to a phone call like that would end in tears and some form of self harm. But the medication, and Matt being there, it kept you calm enough to just go lay in bed and feel the emotions till you could move on. Sometimes that's all you could do and Matt understood.

Matt gave you your medication at 10 like he always did, telling you goodnight with a shoulder squeeze. You tried to sleep, but you couldn't. For a while your sleep got better, but now you were starting to think you really needed sleep medication again. You had been taken off all medications due to getting serotonin syndrome twice and ending up in the hospital because of it. Since then, your psychiatrist has been very cautious of trying new medications and taking them away.

It was around midnight when you got up, leaving your knee braces behind as you walked to Matt's room. You hated not wearing the knee braces because you knew without them you could dislocate something, or hyper extend but you didn't feel like dealing with them right now. You knocked on Matt's door, hoping he was awake. Matt got up, immediately opening the door, "hey, you okay?" He asked, his first instinct was to put his hands on your hips but instead he gently grabbed onto your arms. You nodded, "I can't sleep, I was wondering if we could go for a drive.. if it's not too much.." you said softly, looking down.

Matt nodded immediately, pulling away to push up his glasses. "Do you wanna put on your knee braces?" He asked. You were hesitant, Matt spoke before you could say anything, "I'll do it for you." He said and then you nodded. He understood sometimes you just didn't wanna deal with it and that's understandable but that's why he was there to help. He slipped on his shoes and grabbed his keys before following you to your room.

You sat down on your bed and Matt put on your knee braces with ease. Then he grabbed your shoes and without a second thought, slipped them on for you. You took his hand to stand up. "Alright, anything you wanna bring?" He asked. You grabbed your water bottle off the nightstand, "Just this.." you said softly and Matt nodded. Matt led you outside to his car, opening the door for you as you got in then he shut the door. He got in on his side, immediately handing you the aux as he started the car.

You put on a random playlist, "any certain direction or just drive?" Matt asked. You shrugged, "just drive.. I don't care where." You said softly, laying your head against the window as he started to drive. He drove, he was silent, but he kept an eye on you, the way you were singing, the little frown on your face and your arms wrapped around your chest. Matt wanted to ask, to talk, but he had to fight his own anxiety.

He took a breath, thinking what was the right thing to ask, he knew you weren't okay so he wasn't going to ask if you were. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly. You looked over, sighing softly, "It's just my dad.. he doesn't understand sometimes. I don't get him.. he's so confusing and it's frustrating. I know I need to get a job.. I just feel like I don't have time. He's just holding onto who I was before I got sick.. I worked a lot.. I worked at a coffee shop in college, I worked at the movie theater in high school.. I kept stable jobs but then I'd get sick and have to take a break.. it's a pattern and it's always been like this and he just can't grasp that it might be like this forever but I know there's jobs I can find.. it's just I don't have time.. not right now but I told him when I do I absolutely will look and try my hardest. I'm still trying.." you didn't mean to ramble but you couldn't help it.

Matt nodded, taking everything in. "Some people.. especially parents.. it's hard for them to grasp illness and disability especially when they see you at your best. They just can't comprehend that someone who was once so healthy can all the sudden become sick.. even though you've always been sick.. it's still so hard for loved ones to understand and comprehend and I'm so sorry." Matt said softly as you nodded. "I never wanted to be sick.." you muttered. Matt couldn't help but frown, "I know." He said softly.

"It's hard to think I don't deserve this for some reason," you said softly. Matt almost wanted to stop the car, make you look at him till you understood that no one deserves this. "You don't deserve this." Matt said simply, he knew there might not be much else he could say but he'd say that over and over till you believed it. You didn't respond. "I mean it. You don't deserve it." He said seriously. You nodded, "okay.." you said softly as Matt continued to drive.

"What was your favorite thing to do as a kid?" Matt asked, changing the subject, hopefully to something lighter. You paused, taking in his question, "Honestly, my family and I used to go to the fair every year.. I was a little kid so I just rode all the rides but.. it was the most fun I could have while the adults all drank." You said softly and Matt nodded, "I loved going at night because then you could see all the lights and stuff." You said and Matt nodded, a little smile on his face as he imagined little you taking in all the lights. Hell, he imagined you now, he could make that work, although you probably couldn't ride any rides... or eat any of the food... but you seemed to enjoy the lights so maybe that would be enough, and you could do the fair games as well! Matt was already planning on winning you loads of stuffed animals.

Matt continued to drive, he'd glance over at you every now and then. Matt pulled over, he found a spot, secluded and looking over the city. He parked, looking over at you. "Wanna get out? Just.. sit on the hood and look at the stars? I can help you up there.." Matt said softly and you nodded. You rubbed your face as Matt turned off the car, getting out and walking over to your side. He opened the door for you, "Hey, you okay?" He asked softly, you nodded. You took his hands and got out of the car. He knew you weren't okay, but he wouldn't push it. He walked you to the front of the car.

"Face me," he said softly. You did as he said, facing him. He placed his hands on your hips, lifting you up, placing you on the hood of the car and making sure you were stable before he let go. He got up, sitting next to you. The two of you sat close, arms and legs touching as you looked out at the city, all of the lights making the night seem so bright. You moved first, laying your head on Matt's shoulder. You justified it by saying you were tired, your body was hurting in random ways. Matt didn't question it. He didn't question it either when you gently placed your hand in his, fingers intertwining like they were made for each other. Nothing else was said, but all of the feelings were there.

a/n: I've had a headache for three days someone save me ugh anyways I love yall and I hope yall enjoy this part and thank you for all the love and support. It gets juicy soon... I promise.

Just as things can get better, they can get bad again. Although new medications helped, treatments helped, sometimes it got to you, the fact that you are sick and will be sick forever, even when it does get better. And sometimes that's hard to deal with. Matt noticed, he always noticed the ups and downs with you. Just days ago you two were laughing and smiling, but now you were back to hiding in your room, away in the dark just laying in the pain and sadness. You knew it wasn't the best option but you didn't want to do anything else, your body felt so tired.

You were laying in your bed, you didn't even have your laptop open, no random YouTube videos playing to keep you entertained. You just laid in the darkness staring at the ceiling. Matt knocked before coming in, "Hey... do you wanna watch a movie?" He asked, it was a simple question, a simple task, but it still felt so hard, the couch felt so far away. But you knew it was best for you to get out of your room, so you nodded. Matt walked over, you took his hands and got up.

You walked to the couch and sat down. Matt grabbed you a blanket, draping it over your legs. Matt sat down next to you, "What're we watching? Marvel movies? Something else?" He asked, grabbing the remote. You shrugged, going to bite at your nails but Matt just grabbed your hand, pulling it down and placing it in your lap. His free hand stayed on top of yours, holding it there. A soft gesture that made your heart race. "What's your favorite movie? If you had to choose?" He asked. You thought about it for a moment, lips pursed. "Jennifer's body," you said, then Matt nodded.

That was the choice, it was decided. He turned on Jennifer's body without a word then sat the remote down, giving you a little smile before turning towards the tv. You looked down at where his hand was over yours, you turned your hand till your palms were facing each other. Then your fingers intertwined, nothing else was said. You looked back up, watching the movie without another word.

The two of you sat together, watching the movie with your hand in his. You bit down on your bottom lip, moving to lay your head on his shoulder. Matt looked over, "hey, why don't you lay down.. you can put your head in my lap.." Matt offered. You looked up at him for a moment before nodding. You shuffled, moving to lay down, your head laying on his lap as you faced the tv. You fixed the blanket over your legs, pulling it up to your chest. Matt reached down, gently pushing the hair from your face.

He smiled down at you, you couldn't help but smile at the moment, how soft and sweet it was. You started to wonder what all of this meant.. what it meant for you and what it meant to him. You were never good at telling if people liked you, they had to explicitly tell you before you fully believed it. No matter what Matt did for you, you'd find a way to justify it. Including this... this was just because the couch wasn't big enough, that had to be why.

But you couldn't deny how he made your heart race, made your cheeks flush. But you always had issues with relationships. Constantly overthought it. Constantly questioned your own feelings to the point that you started to believe you were faking it. You'd convince yourself you never liked them, that it was all fake and you made it up. But you tried to remind yourself what really mattered, and that was that Matt made you feel loved. He made your heart race, made your stomach flutter and do cart wheels but in a good way. He comforted you.

It just took you a second to really realize... you liked him. You really liked him. No matter how many times you questioned it yourself, you couldn't deny the feelings, the good feelings, the happy feelings. You couldn't deny that the thought of spending the rest of your life with him sounded like heaven. You couldn't deny that the thought of kissing him made you think some unholy thoughts. But you tried to push them all down. You just wondered what it all meant for him.

Matt looked down at you, watching you as you watched the movie. He tried to be discreet but he couldn't stop staring, taking in your beauty. He took in everything he could, the curve of your lips, the bridge of your nose, the way your nostrils slightly flared as you breathed, your lashes fluttering with each blink. He thought you were the most beautiful, precious thing on earth. He didn't know how much longer he could deny it to you. But he didn't know how to say it either, you deserved some grand gesture. You deserved perfection. You deserved the world and he wanted to give it to you but he didn't exactly know how to yet. He had time.. he had nowhere else to be.

A/n: yes I posted twice in a day I'm stuck in bed today so I wanted to. I feel just bleh I feel bleh and wanna just sleep but I can't sleep so I'm just awake and here and tired so yeah. But I love yall. I love all of yall so much and there's tons coming! I just get excited and post and can't help it. But yeah I hope yall enjoy. I love yall.

You and Matt were eating dinner when he got a text from his brother. "Hey, Chris is asking if he can come over... said he wants to apologize." Matt said softly. You pursed your lips, clearly thinking and Matt knew it. It was your tale-tell sign you were thinking. You had honestly been thinking about it a lot, you expected Chris to be nice to mouse, nice like Matt was, but nope, he was weird, standoffish. All because he was swearing off women.. "I guess.." you said softly, and Matt nodded and texted him back. "He'll be here later," Matt said and you nodded in response. The two of you finished up dinner. Matt helped you up before you went and sat at the couch like you usually did.

Matt did the dishes as you watched tv, there was a knock on the door and Matt opened it. He gave Chris a tight lipped smile, walking in with his hands shoved in his pockets. He walked inside, "Hey, Chris is here." Matt said and you turned and gave him a little smile, "hi," you said softly. Chris walked over to you, "I'm sorry... for how I acted.." Chris said and you nodded, looking up at him. "You need to apologize to mouse.." you said softly and Chris nodded. "That's uh.. that's why i came here.. i wanted to know where I could find her so I could go and apologize.. to her... in person." Chris said, biting down on his bottom lip as he waited for your response.

Matt thought it was sweet, sweet of his brother to do that and wanted to apologize. But you stared at him, wondering what ulterior motive he might possibly have. All it took was one time, if anyone disrespected your friends even once, you tended to dislike them greatly. "Okay.. uh.. she's an english lit major.. she goes to the college down here.." you said, still skeptical of him. "Here, why don't you text me her schedule and I can send it to him and then he can go talk to her after class. How's that?" Matt suggested, Chris looked at him, giving him a thankful nod. You looked at Matt then at Chris, then you nodded, sending Matt the class schedule Mouse had sent her so Matt could send it to him. "There! Now we're all set. He's gonna apologize to her whenever and then it's all fixed." Matt said and you nodded.

"I'm gonna go, but thank you. And I'll apologize to her. I promise." Chris said. You nodded, not fully believing him but you'd believe it when you saw it, or Mouse texted you about it. Matt walked Chris out, saying his goodbyes before coming back inside and sitting down next to you. You looked over at him, "He is going to apologize, right?" You asked and Matt nodded, "Us sturniolo brothers always stick to our word. Especially promises." Matt said and you nodded. Matt grabbed a blanket, setting it over your lap. The two of you sat together, he was close, not touching but it seemed like each night you two sat on the couch, he moved closer. Or maybe you were overthinking it.

You looked over at his hand, remembering how it felt to hold it at the beach. You wanted to do that again. But you didn't know how to ask, didn't know what to say or what was appropriate. You stared at the tv, trying not to overthink it. Trying not to overthink him. Things just didn't seem so simple anymore. Sometimes you two would get close, then Matt backed down. You didn't understand. You didn't know what to do about it. You couldn't decide if you wanted more. You werent sure if you wanted to risk it being more. You couldn't lose him.

Matt sat next to you, staring ahead at the tv. He was thinking about you too, wanting to hold your hand again. But he didn't make a move. He was too in his head, he was letting the anxiety overcome him. He looked over at you for a brief moment, just taking you in. Calmness washed over him for a brief moment, that was just the effect you had on him. Of course he wanted more, but he'd be content with just this if that's all he was allowed.

A/n: I'm sorry this is so short... I just wanna apologize all the time and idk why so I'm just sorry about that but yeah I have tons of stuff to post and I'm excited to! Hope everyone's excited too! When you see this I will probably be sleeping because I just got a ketamine treatment so I can't wait to wake up and see you guys! I love yall so much! Mwah forehead kiss for everyone!

Bambi is squeezing your arm and pointing at things. You smile and nod at what she is pointing at. Even though she only knows some sign language thanks to you, you have picked up on her cues of pointing or mimicking things. She hasn’t stopped texting you nonstop about this game, saying how excited she is. Which is weird because she is not into basketball, or at least has never told you she was. It makes you happy that she is excited about something.

Matt looks at you, sweet as ever, and starts to sign out each word individually. “My brother is on the team. He got us floor seats.”

You nod softly, pausing. You face Matt and sign the words “brother” and “team”, showing him the correct signs for it. You grin as he repeats the signs. When he does it correctly, you sign “yes”. You are teaching him little by little, trying not to overwhelm him with thousands of signs all at once.

You love that Matt wants to know how to sign. It’s not that often someone really wants to learn. Most days are frustrating because you feel nobody ever really tries to learn how to talk to you, but then you met Bambi and Matt. They showed you that people do care and are willing to try.

When you get to your seats, your eyes widen. The court is jaw-dropping. The bright floodlights reflect off polished wood, players darting by in streaks of color, coaches gesturing wildly at the players. Every movement sends little vibrations through the seats and floor. You watch Matt carefully settle Bambi into her seat. It’s chaotic, but there’s something beautiful about watching all the movement without any sound.

Matt comes back over and tugs your arm softly, pointing to your seat. You look at him, shocked. He just laughs and nods. You both walk over, and you sit down next to Bambi. Your mouth is open as you take in the fact that you are actually sitting right there next to the court, behind the player’s bench.

You quickly pull your phone out to say something to both Matt and Bambi.

Mouse: This is awesome… except I know NOTHING about basketball. Plus, I’m going to be so lost.

Bambi grabs the phone, putting a finger up to tell you to hold on. You watch as she types.

Bambi: Don’t worry. We have it covered.

You furrow your brows, unsure of what she means. You look around, and suddenly there is a lady waving to you in a black shirt—a sign language interpreter. The lady signs, “I’ll be here the whole time.”

You look at Bambi, and she points to Matt. He’s blushing slightly and grabs your phone, typing.

Matt: I may have asked her if she could move a bit more this way. Didn’t think she would, but we got lucky that she has a co-worker with her tonight to cover the other side.

Relief floods you. You reach over and grab Matt’s hand, squeezing it as a silent thank you. He always knows how to make others feel included. You give Bambi a quick hug and type back for both of them.

Mouse: I love you guys. Thank you.

The players race onto the court, and you realize the game is starting. You split your attention between the interpreter’s hands. Her fingers are a blur as she signs what is going on, trying to keep up with the fast game. It’s a mental whirlwind, but you catch enough: a foul here, a point there, the way the crowd jumps up in waves of excitement. For once, you’re part of the experience.

You jump when Matt suddenly stands, arms waving. His mouth moves quickly, eyes narrowed at the court. The interpreter signs furiously: "That was a foul on my brother!" You giggle at how protective Matt is, his loyalty loud even without a voice.

A few minutes later, Matt nudges you and points somewhere. When you look, you see a cotton candy man. Matt raises an eyebrow, and you nod. He buys you a thing of cotton candy. When you take a bite, you close your eyes in satisfaction. Looking over to sign thank you, you notice Bambi and how bummed she looks. Your heart hurts because you know she’s not allowed any of this.

You grab her hand and give it a gentle squeeze, a silent but affectionate way to apologize. Bambi smiles and just leans the side of her head against yours for a moment. She grabs your phone and types.

Bambi: Might not be able to eat it, but I sure can smell it.

It makes you laugh at how easygoing she really can be. You nod and hold it out, letting her sniff it. This is your friendship in a nutshell. Weird, but it is perfect for both of you. Bambi rubs her tummy playfully, and you both then focus back on the game.

Halftime comes around before you even know it. Matt tugs gently on your arm. He signs “meet” and “brother” to you. As you all stand up, you link arms with Bambi again, and both of you follow Matt. All three of you walk through the maze of hallways before finally coming to a long hallway, and then you finally get to the locker room where the players go to reconvene before the next half. Matt puts up a finger to say “hold on”, and he disappears inside for a second.

As you wait, you look around. You see pictures of the players on the wall. You walk over with Bambi and point at a picture of Chris. When you look at her, you sign his name. She leans against the wall, nods, and pulls her phone out. You watch quietly as she bites her lip in concentration. Finally, she signs “triplet”. You smile and nod, understanding that’s why Matt and he look so similar.

Matt finally comes back out and waves you both over. You follow quietly behind him, going through a maze of dirty clothes on the floor and sneakers. When you finally get to where he wants you, you immediately find an empty spot on a bench for Bambi. You pat her head lovingly as she smiles, then you face Matt again. There’s a vibration under your feet, so you know music of some sort is playing.

Just as you are about to sign a question mark towards Matt, asking him what’s going on, Chris turns around a corner, and you freeze. He’s not super tall, but tall enough compared to your height of 5 feet. He has muscles that aren’t obnoxious, and he looks exhausted, but also pumped full of energy again. He has this slight detached, focused look on his face as you stare towards him.

Chris looks toward Bambi, then Matt, and then you. His eyes stay on you for a moment, but his expression stays distant, almost empty. After a second, he offers a small nod. His mind is probably already wandering to the game, getting prepared for the second half.

“I’m assuming you are the friend that Matt said Bambi was bringing?” His eyebrow raises.

You furrow your eyebrows as you squint, trying to read his lips. It’s a new skill you are trying to learn, but since you didn’t do it when you were younger, it’s more of a challenge. You are able to pick up on some words, like just now you picked up “Bambi”, “Matt”, and “friend”.  You look behind you at Bambi and Matt who are smiling sadly, and you realize they didn’t warn Chris about you being deaf.

You face back towards Chris and start signing, “I am deaf. I need you to repeat that in sign language, please.”

Chris stares, a slight look of confusion and shock showing on his face. He has no idea what you just signed. He looks toward Matt, who briefly explains that you are deaf and most of the time you use your phone or paper to communicate with people who don’t know how to sign. Chris nods slowly, pulling his phone out and typing something.

Chris: Sorry. Didn’t know.

You nod shyly. Typing back.

Mouse: It’s okay. I am trying to read lips, but it’s hard. You are doing really well. I don’t know much about basketball, but it looks like you’re playing well.

Chris gives a quick smile and a thumbs up, then turns his attention back to Matt, not even giving you much of a chance to say anything else to him. You go sit next to Bambi, feeling a little awkward. Chris doesn’t get any closer to you, but he does look at you every once in a while.

You three head back to your seats for the second half. This time, you watch Chris with a new perspective. His movements are sharp and focused, barking out orders to the team, clapping teammates on the back, snatching every opportunity to shoot. When the crowd rises, he lifts his arms, feeding off their energy, but always keeps a layer of distance. His dedication to the game radiates from every step.

After the game, the four of you are walking out. Matt and Bambi have their arms linked together. You think it’s the cutest but most insufferable thing ever. It’s clear they like each other, and it drives you mad that they don’t even admit it.

You are lost in thought when Chris lightly bumps your arm to get your attention. You look up at him and tilt your head. He looks at you, and for once you can’t understand why he is so distant and cold towards you. You both just met each other.

Matt must have told him my ways of communicating because he brings his phone out and types.

Chris: Do you even have a name?

You don’t react. What question is that? You take the phone and type slowly.

Mouse: Most people call me Mouse. But my actual name is [Y/N].

Chris: Because you are quiet like a mouse?

Mouse: Yeah. I guess? Bambi came up with it. It just stuck.

As you hand the phone back, Chris just looks at it. His facial expressions masked from you. So you take matters into your own hands and show him the sign for “mouse” and then point to yourself. Chris doesn’t repeat the sign, just looks down. When he looks back up, all he does is nod.

Leaving you confused and very frustrated at how much of an asshole he was being, you feel Matt nudge you and point to the car, silently saying it’s time to go because Bambi is tired. You nod, walking to the car door. When you turn around, you see Matt and Chris talking. It’s confusing because Matt looks concerned and they both keep looking back at you. As you get into the backseat and buckle your seatbelt, Bambi faces you and smiles sadly.

You look at her, confused, and sign, “What’s wrong?”

She sighs and signs, “Chris.”

You tilt your head, not understanding what she means. You open your phone and just text her.

Mouse: What about him?

Bambi: He just broke up with his girlfriend. She was a bitch. He swore off relationships. I saw how you looked when he was being an ass.

Mouse: I didn’t do anything. I just met him. Sorry for thinking he’d be friendly?

Bambi gives you a look.

Bambi: You might be deaf, but your face says everything sometimes. He wants to focus on basketball. Don’t let him get to you. He needs to figure his shit out first, and you deserve someone who wants you.

You look down, not answering back. You lock your phone and let the gentle rumble of the car lull you. The night replays in flashes: the vibrant chaos of the arena, Bambi’s smiles, Matt’s kindness, Chris’s coldness. You promise yourself you’ll keep your guard up. He’s focused on basketball. You deserve someone who sees you. Still, deep down, a small hope flickers.

M yaps: So eeeekkk here we go!!! (yes, I know, "M why are you doing a 3rd AU?" I'm a crackhead ok? Just deal with lol)

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As always: Have a great day, be kind -M

You had been doing a bit better honestly, the medications you started helped more than you expected, along with the ketamine treatments, you felt so much better, mentally at least. You wanted to do things, just your body wasn't catching up just yet. Matt asked during dinner if you wanted to go to the beach tonight, if you were feeling up for it. It was fun, something easy and you guys could just lay out on the beach and you'd be out of the house. That's how Matt was justifying it, it was a way to celebrate and get out of the house. So, you agreed, you were kinda excited.

Matt gave you time to rest before he loaded up the car, just a blanket, some pillows, and your usual stuff, like his back pack and your water bottle. The drive to the beach was nice, Matt let you play music like he usually did. You stared out the window, enjoying how long it took. You sang quietly along to the music playing. Matt smiled, trying not to overthink it. But his hands were gripping the wheel a bit harder, his anxiety bubbling up again. You glanced over, watching him readjust his hand position over and over again. "Are you okay?" You asked softly.

His heart stopped, or at least he swore it did. He had to swallow hard, stilling his hands. "Uh, yeah, sorry! Just thinking," he said softly, trying not to look over at you but he could feel you staring, could see your furrowed brows and concerned face in his peripherals. "About what?" You asked, he should have expected that but he didn't. He was used to everyone dropping everything but here you were, refusing to move on. "Just, uh.. high school.. driving here.. y'know, sometimes I'd skip school.. I was not good at school," Matt said, he chuckled awkwardly, hoping his lie worked. You nodded, "Wow.. I never had the guts to skip school..." you said softly as Matt nodded. "Honestly.. I just hated it so much.. it made my anxiety the worst and so I'd go to the nurse.. and I'd just... walk out.. my uncle lived nearby so I just walked to his house and I'd wait there till the end of the day." Matt explained as you nodded.

You took in his words, wondering if you should share your own experiences or apologize to him for what he went through. You went with the latter, "I'm sorry... that sounds rough.." you said softly. Matt shrugged, "I made it through.. somehow, someway.. that's all that matters." Matt said as he pulled up to the beach, parking the car. "Let me go set it up, then I'll come get you. Just sit tight," Matt said, before hopping out of the car. You watched him, taking the blanket out and the pillows. He laid out the blanket on the sand, setting the tons of pillows down. He grabbed his back pack and then what looked like... a guitar case. Your brows furrowed as he finally walked back over and opened your car door.

"Come on," Matt said softly, taking your hands. "Do you want me to carry you? Would that be easier? Sand might be hard on your joints.." Matt said softly. "I can walk.." you said, determination written all over your face and Matt nodded, helping you out of the car. He shut the door then followed close behind you as you walked slowly, taking each step mindfully. You made it to the blanket, Matt placed a hand on the small of your back. You took his hand and he guided you to sit down, just like he would do with the bath.

You sat down, then Matt moved around the pillows, two behind your head for you to lay down but still be a little propped up, then a pillow for under your knees to keep them bent, just like how you had it at home. "Lay down, relax," Matt said, and you nodded, laying back and getting comfortable. Matt smiled, moving to sit next to you. You looked over, it was in fact a guitar case, "You play?" You asked. "I've been learning," Matt said softly, "I'll play you something later, just.. listen to the waves." Matt said softly and you nodded.

You turned your head to look up at the stars, the waves crashing over each other making a beautiful symphony. Matt felt calm now, the nerves from the car washed away with each passing wave. He smiled slightly, looking over at you, admiring you and your beauty under the moonlight. He tried not to stare but he couldn't help it. He could see you purse your lips, clearly thinking, he wanted to ask what you were thinking about but he didn't, didn't want to disturb the peace.

You were thinking, of course you were, but it wasn't as bad, the new meds making the thoughts come slower for once. But still, you were thinking. You wanted to talk but weren't exactly sure about what. You felt like there was so much you could say but you couldn't figure out what would be the right thing. Your hands rested on your stomach, you shivered slightly. Matt noticed, opening his backpack and grabbing the hoodie out of it. He held it out, offering it to you. You sat up slowly, taking it. It was his hoodie, plain and black and smelling of his cologne. You put it on, engulfed in warmth before you laid back down.

"Chris invited me to his basketball game on Friday, he gave me some extra tickets so I was wondering... would you like to go? You can say no, I don't mind.. it's just.. him and his girlfriend broke up so I just wanna be there to support him." Matt said softly. You looked over at him, thinking about it.. the bright lights, loud noises. You pursed your lips, then a thought came up, Matt said he had extra tickets, multiple... "Can I bring a friend?" You asked, Matt nodded, immediately. "Of course! Of course, you can bring a friend! I'd love that." Matt smiled. You nodded, "My friend.. Mouse.. she's deaf, that's alright?" You asked and Matt immediately nodded again, no hesitation. "Of course! I can make that work." He said.

You smiled a little, thinking about it. You wouldn't admit it but in your head.. you were kinda hoping this would set something up for Mouse.. you knew how much she'd been through and if Chris was half as nice as Matt... then she absolutely wanted them to meet. Matt looked at you, the little smile on your face. He didn't question the little look on your face that said you had some secret plan. He just went along with it.

"I can't wait to meet her," Matt said and you nodded, "She's super sweet, I've known her since college.. or when I was in college? She's still in college." You said softly, rambling a bit as Matt nodded and listened. "What did you go to college for?" Matt asked, making you look over at him, almost surprised he asked. "Uh.. psychology.. I wanted to be a therapist.." you said softly and Matt nodded, "You wanted to help people?" He asked and you nodded. "Yeah..." you mumbled, looking down. You had a million things you wanted to say but you never thought anything was right. "I just like making people happy.." you added. Matt nodded, "Yeah, you make people happy, you know that, right?" Matt asked and you paused, looking up at the sky as you thought about it.

Then you nodded, "Yeah... I just have to remind myself sometimes.." you said softly and Matt looked down at you, "That's okay, I don't mind reminding you either." He smiled and you looked over at him. A small smile formed on your lips, "Thank you," you said softly. You looked back down, pursing your lips and Matt stayed silent, giving you the space to decide if you wanted to speak. "I have to remind myself a lot that people love me... I just.. I don't know... I feel like such an unlovable creature." You couldn't look at Matt, you didn't know how he was gonna react, you were used to people being angry, getting upset with you, telling you that it's not okay... you already know it's not okay.

Matt just nodded, "You're not some unlovable creature. You are a very lovable human. A human. With feelings.. with thoughts.. and you are so very lovable. And if I have to remind you everyday that people love you, then I will. I don't mind." Matt said, speaking clearly and calmly. You looked over at him, he gave you a soft smile. "You're so lovable." He repeated. You could feel the tears brim your eyes, wondering if there was something more to his words. But you didn't overthink it, you couldn't.

You looked at Matt's hand, and you thought about it. Holding his hand, would he let you? Would he tell you no? Would it be crossing some sort of line to hold his hand like this? Matt noticed, then he offered out his hand, palm up, yours to hold if you so wished. You stared at it, then decided not to overthink it, not at this moment. You put your hand out and placed your hand in his. You looked back up at the sky, your heart beating fast in your chest.

For a moment you started to overthink, worrying your hand was sweaty, worrying you were shaking, worrying about every little thing you possibly could. You felt calmer than normal, part of it was the new meds. You didn't expect them to work so fast but they did. It felt like night and day. You'd overthink for moments before it just washed away, and you let your mind wonder elsewhere, to the sky and the stars. Matt looked up as well, his hand holding yours and he wasn't panicking. He wasn't overthinking it at this moment.

The two of you stayed like that.. hand in hand, staring up at the stars and listening to the waves crash over the shore. Finally, you looked over at Matt, then the guitar case. "You gonna show me what you learned?" You asked softly, making Matt look back down, following your gaze to the guitar case. "Of course," Matt was almost sad to let go of your hand but he didn't show it. You moved your hands back to your stomach.

Matt pulled the guitar out of the case, setting it in his lap. "So.. this might not be amazing but... im learning," Matt said, putting his fingers in position on the neck of the guitar before he started to play. You recognized the song immediately, your eye brows raising in surprise. It was a song you'd played over and over again in the car, he noticed... he noticed and learned how to play it on guitar. You couldn't help but smile, the smile growing wider with each note he was playing. You started to sing, very softly, mostly to yourself. Matt wished you would've sang louder, he wanted to hear it properly. But from what he did hear, it was better than any artist he'd listened to. He would learn every single song you loved to listen to you sing, no matter how softly, he'd listen and enjoy every second.

As he finished the song, you clapped, "You- you are so amazing! Who are you?!" You couldn't help but laugh, shaking your head in amazement. Matt shrugged, smiling sheepishly as he looked down. It was his turn for the slight blush to rise on his cheeks. "Matt.. you amaze me every single day, you are the kindest, sweetest, most caring guy I've ever met.." you said softly. Matt nodded, looking down, he didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to take compliments, he just let the blush rise on his cheeks. "You're cute.. y'know?" You said softly, looking at Matt's face as he looked up at you, a little smile on his face.

"Yeah.. thanks.. we uh..." Then, Matt was moving, putting the guitar back in the case as you watched with a little frown on your face. You watched as he stood up, "We should get back, still got early doctors appointments tomorrow," Matt said, holding out his hands as you sat up. You took his hands, standing up. You let go of his hands, walking towards the water, the sand entering your shoes, making your face scrunch up. But you ignored it, stopping where the waves came close to your shoes but stopped right before. Matt watched, watching you stand there.

Then he noticed something as you crossed your arms over your chest. Your legs... they weren't shaking as much. You were standing, standing almost completely still. And he watched, you stood there for almost 5 minutes, no break, the slightest tremors in your legs. Then you turned around, walking back toward him. You noticed the huge smile on his face, "do you realize what you just did?" He asked. You shook your head, eyebrows furrowed as he watched you continue to stand, although you swayed a tiny bit, back and forth on each foot but still, the tremors were significantly less. "You're- you're fucking standing!" Matt cheered, he couldn't help it, his arms wrapping around your waist.

You squealed when he picked you up, spinning you around. "Oh my god!" You laughed, your arms going around his neck to hold onto him. He stopped, slowly setting you back down on your feet. His hands rested on your hips, "You are so fucking strong.. you might not need me anymore," Matt chuckled, looking down at you. "I'll always need you," you spoke softly, looking up into his eyes. His smile reached his eyes, and so did yours.

Matt seemed to come back to reality first, clearing his throat before pulling away. "Let's get back to the car, you go sit and I'll pick everything up," Matt said, walking you back to the car. You got in the front seat, a smile still on your face as you looked down. You texted your friend, Mouse, inviting her to the game and also telling her what happened. She was beyond excited and more than happy to go to the game, and you were excited for her to meet Matt and his brothers. Your heart was racing, but in a good way. The smile never left your face as Matt brought the two of you back home. It was probably the best night you had in a while.

a/n: so if you haven't heard by now, @inkedsturnioloss and I are collabing!! Her character is Mouse! And she'll be posting her and Chris's intros tomorrow. Once posted I'll link them everywhere I can. Then.. the next part in this series with be her fic! So yall will go read her fic once it's posted then then next day or day after ill post my part and then we're back to the regularly scheduled program unless I collab with her again which im hoping we definitely will and i really hope yall enjoy it!! Im so so so so excited! Eeee thank you for reading! I hope everyone's excited too!

matt has always been obsessed with the way you taste—he always described it as sweet, something he could savor forever without getting tired of it one bit. but today in particular, you didn’t think he’d prefer your pussy over sweet vanilla frosting.

because to matt, they would be equivalent—that was, if he didn’t believe you tasted sweeter.

your breath hitched as matt kneeled between your legs, slowly beginning to peel your soaked panties down to your ankles. you were laid on your back on the couch, heart racing from the anticipation of what would come next.

his head dipped down between your legs, planting open-mouthed kisses your inner thighs, you gasped lightly as his mouth inched closer and closer to your core.

matt’s mouth nearly watered at the sight of how soaked you were for him. “fuck,” he groaned, fingers moving to spread you open further. “so wet…all this just for me, baby?” matt hummed.

you nodded in response although he couldn’t really see it. “yeah…only for you—” your words were cut off by matt’s tongue licking your clit, slowly beginning to circle and suck on your bundle of nerves. your back arched against the cushion of the couch, your mouth slightly ajar at the sudden pleasure that bursted through you.

it felt like matt was completely lost in your pussy—because he was. the movements of his mouth only quickened, his tongue lapping desperately at your wetness, then plunging inside of you briefly.

you gasped, feeling matt push one of his fingers inside of you while he sucked on your clit, breathing heavily onto your pussy, thrusting his finger inside and out of you.

“oh shit,” matt exhaled, pulling away briefly as he watched his finger move in and out of you, adding a second finger as well. “you like this, huh? you like me fucking you with my mouth, yeah? such a dirty girl…” matt chuckled, before withdrawing his fingers from you. you whined at the loss of contact, but the disappointment didn’t last long as his mouth landed on your core again—this time he was moving more desperately than before, if that was even possible.

he moaned into your pussy—which took you by surprise, as he tilted his head for deeper access, tongue flicking up and down against your aching clit. you bucked your hips against his mouth for more friction, but you immediately felt matt push your hips back down firmly, holding you securely in place as he continued devouring you like there was no tomorrow.

“oh—oh my fucking god matt!” a mix between a breathy moan and gasp slipped past your lips as your chest rose and fell at a much more accelerated rate than before, you could even feel the vibration of matt’s constant groans against your cunt, only adding to the pleasure.

“taste so fuckin’ sweet…could eat you all day…” matt murmured, his voice muffled between your thighs. you could feel yourself getting close, your legs beginning to tremble from the intensity of his movements.

“matt i’m—m’gonna cum!” you could barely even get the words out, but your orgasm crashed over you with one last flick of matts tongue, he licked up every drop of your release, his mouth not halting at all—he was still going. matt kissed your clit gently, hands still on your hips. you were in the middle of catching your breath when matt spoke again.

“mmmmm….still don’t think i’m done tasting you yet, sweetheart. be a good girl and let me finish up here, mkay?” matt smirked, knowing that this was just the beginning—as he immediately lowered himself back between your legs, pulling you closer, all while his actual birthday cake was sitting on the counter, completely abandoned.

©𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐇𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎

💌: lets pretend its still their birthday and im not insanely late <3