Since some people enjoyed my previous Robin Hood ballad fun facts you will get more!! Today’s edition: Robin Hood and Little John and the queerplatonic energy they bring to the table.
1. Robin Hood and Little John have only ever fallen out once (over a dumb archery contest at that) and Robin immediately got himself arrested. While the other merry men whined and fainted, John risked his life to save Robin and once Robin was safe he told John that he was willing to give up his position as the leader of the merry men just so John wouldn’t abandon him!! And John declined the offer but stayed anyways!! Even the king acknowledged John “had more love for Robin Hood than he had for all the rest” (Robin Hood and the monk, which is the oldest Robin Hood ballad found to date!)
2. Little John’s death wish in the one instance where he thought he had to die was for Robin to be the one to take his life, as proof of his love. No, I’m not making this up:
“Mayster, if ever thou lovest me, and for that ylke lordes love that dyed upon a tre, and for the medes of my servyce, that I have served the, lete never the proude sheryf alyve now fynde me; but take out thy browne swerde, and smyte all of my hede, and gyve me woundes dede and wyde, no lyfe on me be lefte”
- A lytell Geste of Robyn Hode, 5th fytte
To which Robin replied that not for the gold of all of England would he sacrifice Little John
3. Little John once referred to Robin as a stag of a green colour, which was “one of the fayrest syghts that ever yet sawe I me” (3rd fytte). To be fair this was in the context of him roleplaying an alter ego to charm the Sheriff (which, Little John has a knack for convincing law enforcement to do his bidding in general) but you ever refer to your best friend as the most beautiful sight you’ve ever seen?
4. The offer Robin made to Little John when he joined the merry band, which John accepted, by the way, was:
“Thou shalt have my livery strait, and other accoutrements fit for a man; speak up jolly blade, never fear, I’ll teach you also the use of the bow to shoot at the fat fellow deer.”
Imagine throwing a guy into a river just for him to go like “omg I like you wanna be friends I offer swag jewellery, my green clothes and archery :333”. John rly saw this absolute loser and was like alright guess I’m gonna serve him through life and death.