Rained Out

Have you experienced rain recently? If so, surely you’ve noticed how time is altered should you decide to stand out in it? Not to worry if you haven’t, however, seeing as many of you are preoccupied with other mundane tasks like work or going to the local breakfast spot and screaming into the void that lives in the very last stall of every public bathroom. 

It’s never too late though; the next time you’re able to, take a moment to step out into the crying skies and live in the moment of being washed out into a better timeline to match your current lifestyle and progress made (as always, tracked by the designated government agent that was assigned to you after your first year of grade school). 

Be careful not to wear anything with spots or stripes, though, as you may experience the opposite timeline meant for you until correct attire is worn during another rainy day. Even though most of the government has control over the elements and general life and longevity of our existing universe, only the Orb can determine your timeline. 

Additionally, don’t worry if nothing feels like it changed; the rain is meant to disguise the unsettling feeling of entering a new timeline. If you remember to keep your eyes squinted and have your assigned comfort objects nearby, it will be a mostly painless experience with enormous impact on daily life as you currently know it.

Also, as a bit of a side conversation, I can’t help but gossip a bit about the new person in town! They don’t seem to talk much, and they seem to be fairly removed from people, but the dim glowing light that encases them is alluring and draws me in more and more every time I see them. I absolutely despise them for it. They have no right drawing me in like that when I clearly have things I need to get done. I still need to find an assistant and bury my selection of jars for this upcoming full moon! I can’t help but wonder if they can see my light? If they can...what do you think it would look like? Would it have a color, like how theirs was a dim navy blue, or would it be just a visual energy field like the wise and well learned people of society? I can’t help but wonder... Ugh, it sickens me to think of this any longer. 

Remember: Monday’s rain is said to have orange colored tears with a small amount of emerald colored hail; make sure to collect as much hail as you can to trade them in for immunity from jury duty and speed limits.