Raine Martin

“Heh.” The short laugh is of slight amusement at the words. Benji can’t imagine not being sentimental over such a place, but he supposes it’s easier if you aren’t. He understands the perspective and it provides a comfort to him, that at least one of them won’t be missing the place. It almost makes it easier to leave the place behind, knowing that while there were good memories they also had their fair share of bad here. After all, this was the place where Benji was kidnapped for 3 days and this experience was the very reason he was seeking out help. “I guess you’re right in a way.”  

“I know I don’t, but I want you to know how much I appreciate it. It’s not easy, moving to another country.” Both of them have had experience with this, but it doesn’t necessarily make it easier. It is hard to leave everything you know to go to a place that’s completely unfamiliar. “Uh, I’m not sure how good of company I’ll be on the drive. You know my mind isn’t exactly in the best place right now.”

“Of course I am,” Raine said with a grin. Though they probably weren’t, since they were very intent on shoving feelings out of the way in order to not have to deal with it. Drugs, alcohol, anything to keep their mind off of things. It was easy, or could be easy, to do so. And if all things went well, maybe they could find a way - a new way - to deal with everything. Together with Benji that was. A new adventure, a better adventure. Something for themselves for once. For themselves and for Benji. 

“I’m sure we will be fine, I guess a part of me is just sad about leaving London behind.” He knows that this is silly, considering how he has had more bad experiences than good here, but he wants to honest with them. “I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help but feel kinda sentimental. I mean, we met here and have a bunch of great memories here. Get what I mean?” He knows that they can make new, better memories together but this is what he’s feeling right now. This place holds things that Benji will never forget and a part of him is irrationally afraid of what leaving this place behind means.

 “That actually does sound really nice, I haven’t been anywhere else in Europe. I would be cool to try some different cuisine.” His answer is earnest, but mostly he’s just glad he isn’t going through this change alone. Raine is with him and he has their unwavering support, which provides a great comfort to him. This would be so much more difficult for him if he had to do it alone, he might not have left at all. He looks at them, expression grateful. “I know I don’t have to say this, but thanks for always being there for me. It means a lot and I know it’s hard sometimes.”

Raine shrugged, trying to for a smile. They weren’t going to miss London that much, maybe because to them it was just a place, just a spot on the map. “Yeah, I’m mostly trying to not get sentimental,” they admitted. They were leaving friends behind, that they had made over the past year, good friends. But at the same time, Raine figured they could make friends anywhere. It wouldn’t be the first instance of packing up and leaving. They know they would be way unhappier if Benji left and they stayed behind just for their friends. That and the fear still lingered that people were going to leave them, it was much easier being the one to leave. “Makes it easier to leave,” they said. 

Internally, this reminds him of leaving Cincinnati, it almost feels like it’s happening all over again. He knows that it’s not the same, not even close, because this time he’s not setting out on his own. Raine is coming with him and he’s thankful for their presence. It’s one of the things that’s keeping him grounded right now, the reality that this happening is a good thing, it’s not like last time. 

He doesn’t feel the need to respond to them, so instead he just steps inside the passenger door of the car, next to them. He looks at the open road for a second, one that they will be traveling soon enough. Maybe it is good for the two of them to get a fresh start. 

“Sure.” The monosyllable is a hesitant agreement, but he doesn’t have much else to say. A part of him is sad to be leaving, but he knows that he’ll make a new home in Norway.

Raine knew why Benji was silent, and they tried their best not to take it personal, it wasn’t personal. But their heart felt like it was bleeding for their boyfriend, hoping they could will the universe for him to be better. They needed this too, they knew that. A fresh start, not for the freshness, but because they weren’t in the greatest state themselves, hadn’t been for a long time. And they wanted to leave the United Kingdoms, they needed to leave the United Kingdoms, put as many miles between themselves and the place where they had grown up. 

In truth, the reason why the two of them had chosen to leave London was because Benji hadn’t been sleeping well. He hadn’t slept well in a long time and it was starting to take a toll on him. It seemed like every time he drifted into unconsciousness he dreamt of the same thing, being kidnapped. These nightmares had escalated to him having full-on night terrors, to the point where he had begun screaming in his sleep on several occasions. Of course, this deeply concerned Raine and Benji couldn’t blame them.

His appearance had begun to look almost haggard, wrought with the dread of when he had to sleep next. In his eyes their remained a look of exhaustion, which was only accentuated by the bags under his eyes. He had reached a point where he didn’t want to sleep, for fear that it would only bring more nightmares. The two of them had mutually decided to go to Norway, somewhere where he could receive help with coping with his trauma. 

He glances at Raine, eyes weary. “I don’t think I’m in the best state to drive at the moment, maybe later. I can play GPS for a little bit.” He tries his best to put on a joking air, uncertain of how successful it was. He looks back at the city for a moment before turning back to his partner. “Are you sure we’re making the right decision?”

Raine still smiled, no matter the situation, they could keep up the charade, because it wasn’t a complete lie. When things hadn’t gone well with Greta, Raine hadn’t been allowed to help. Instead they had been left behind while Greta moved away to whatever place she had gone to, the city, away from them. Benji however allowed them to come along. 

“Of course, I don’ mind driving,” they said. They HATED, nay LOATHED, driving. But it was a means to an end, and Raine was good at the wheel when it came to navigating through British traffic, more than other types of traffic. 

Raine watched the apartment they had lived in for the past one and a half year with less appreciation than when they had first moved in. It seemed almost haunted now, cursed in a sense. They sighed, threw the final box into the back of the moving car - which was just the biggest truck they could buy with their money that fitted most of their collective things - and knocked on the window to the front. “Do ye want to drive? Because maybe it’s a good idea if I take the first few hours till we get outta the UK and back on the right side of the road,” they joked. It was going to be an adjustment, or so for Raine than for Benji. The road thing at least, the moving to Norway thing was going to be an adjustment for the both of them.