i cxnt get you outtx my /-/exd

>You’re pretty alright, you think. You’re fed and watching Sunzuu swimming in the surf, staying up close to the shore, from your spot up on the beach with Hradil. It’s quiet, which you appreciate at the moment. You’re happy to lean on Hradil and look him over, watching him glance at you for a moment and smile before his eyes return to tracking Sunzuu. It’s calm, and quiet, and the constant white noise of the water helps block the intrusive thoughts out. Tonight, you’re not a colony leader, you’re not a plotter or revolutionary or any of that jazz. Tonight you’re just Karkat. You don’t know that you remember how to separate yourself from all of that anymore. But you damn well plan to try.

You’re about to let yourself doze off, but something’s in the water. Something that’s not Sunzuu, and not an animal. You’re ready to dive in and probably definitely drown, but Sunzuu sees it to and climbs onshore, looking suspicious but not exactly worried as a troll crawls up on the beach after him.

You’re so excited! You get to paint? That sounds like more fun! You’ll just clap your little hands together and chatter at Sunzuu and Hradil, super excited to get started.

“I miss you guys a lot, and I promise I’ll wait until I’m good to go. And honestly, coming home means you’d be more available to go find people, you know.  I’ll be around to help hold things together.” Karkat reaches up to run fingers through his hair on that little box, breathing slowly for a few moments before he speaks again. “I’m doing pretty good, so…y’know. Soon.”

Sunzuu finds a pen and paper, blows a kiss to Karkat, and slides to the floor to show them how to hold a pen to draw. “Look, use your fingers. Just move it on the paper like this.”

“I’m doing my best, yeah.” Karkat’s expression seems to jump from surprised alarm, to amused understanding as you bounce in place on Sunzuu’s lap, and then settles on amused seriousness. “They look good, at least. Ceteus…” Your name definitely catches your attention. That’s you! “Hradil’s paints are really pretty, I know. But they’re special, and important, okay? You need Hradil’s permission and help if you’re going to play with it. Can you say paint?”

The word comes out ‘pain,’ but you definitely try to say it. You have to ask for the paint. You can do that.

“Tonight or the next night or two, is what I’m thinking. Provided I go slow. I appreciate all the help you guys have been giving with this…”

At least he looks like he’s getting a kick out of it. You watch Ceteus chirp the word back and smile, rubbing halfheartedly at a smeared tooth painted on their face. The very idea of copying someone’s face is beyond illegal, but they would never know. Besides, it isn’t like you’re going to track down the Highblood to prosecute a grub.

“I’ll get you some paints and paper, okay?” Sunzuu coos, already prepared to spoil them. “But you can only paint your face if you’re a super-nerd like Raddy, and you don’t want that.”

You’re ridiculously confused about what he’s doing with the deskhusk. You know Karkat plays with one of those sometimes, and you know the word for it, but you’re not sure what it has to do with Karkat. Picture? Hive soon? And no yelling, because quiet time. You can do quiet. You’re a little huffy at the hair ruffle, but soon enough your attention is caught by Karkat responding on the computer.

The little video of Karkat waves, smiling tiredly. “Hello to you too. I’m doing pretty good, though I’m sleeping a lot still. Should be good to go soon. How about you? What’s up?”

It takes a lot of effort for you not to yell, but giggling and waving is super easy. You can see him in there! Hello!

“Good. I’m glad you’re resting.” You would say more, but the giggling to your right catches your attention, and you tilt the camera so that all three of you are in frame. “Our favorite monster got into my paints, so..”

You don’t mind your hands getting wiped a bit, really. Keeping your hands to yourself will be hard, but you will do your best! You nod excitedly when Hradil leans down to your level, adding a few excitable ‘yeah!’s. You don’t know how you’ll be seeing Karkat, exactly, but you’re happy anyways. Hold your hands up and then clap them together and hold them that way in an attempt to show that yes, you will keep hands to yourself. Yell ‘Kat!’ to see if you’re just missing your guardian hiding somewhere.

Nodding, you stand back upright and pull an extra chair to your desk, then set up a video call with Karkat while Sunzuu sits down next to you. “He’s going to be a picture for now, but he said he’ll be hive soon.” He’s explaining, his brushing their hair off their face. You’ll have to get them some watercolors, or something. “Try not to yell too much, it’ll hurt his ears.”

You’re getting so much attention, you love that! Pat your hands on Sunzuu, making happy little sounds at him. Exciting!  Hradil seems less enthused, but that’s okay. He’s probably tired. You don’t blame him for that, really. Being sleepy makes plenty of sense to you! The mention of Karkat makes you more excited. Yes, you want to see Karkat! You always want to see Karkat! Your excited chatter definitely relays that to the both of them. Clap your little hands together to show how happy you are.

Sunzuu bounces Ceteus in his arms, grinning down at them before looking back at you and nodding. “If you want to, I guess. We could just wash them off.” He trails off, using the edge of his shirt to wipe at their little hands before giving up.

Attention received! You can definitely tell something is up, but they don’t look too bothered at the moment, so you’re not really concerned. Show them your still messy hands as proof of the creative thing you did. The jumble of sounds that come out of your mouth make perfect sense to you, though you’re aware that most of your meaning is lost to them. The only decipherable word in your response is ‘yeah,’ the rest meaning that you did find the pretty paints!

You’re happy to move for Sunzuu, figuring being picked up is always nice. Excited wiggles are a thing though. You did a good job! You’re happy to tell them all about what you did, the key decipherable words being ‘yeah, Raddle!’ You’re not great with controlling these chubby limbs yet, but you tried very hard to make yourself look presentable. Turn your head so they can see the fins you painted on too! You’re Sunzuu too!

Sunzuu looks them over carefully, smiling at their excited chirping. “Ooh, look! You put on fins, too.” He swings his legs off the bed, preparing to stand, then stops, tapping your thigh so you’ll follow.

“Yeah, uh.” You can’t bring yourself to say anything nice. Their blood color can’t even be in the church, let alone wear paint that has designs in it. “Nice fins.”

You stand, looking at the messy streaks of gray paint from the abulationsblock to your bed, and the grab-marks where they pulled themself up. Hopefully, you won’t have to break out your new paints. You don’t have more, and you really don’t want to go on a supply run with Karkat indisposed.

You’re awake! And of course, as the nest you sleep in is up on your guardian’s bed, it takes a few minutes for you to work out how to climb down to the floor. You’re not used to the limbs you have now, so what would have taken you two seconds as a grub is significantly more complex now. You do figure it out eventually, though. You’re so smart.

Shuffling across the floor is much easier now that you can coordinate these four limbs better, and pushing the door open isn’t hard either. You gently butt your head against it, and the door swings open easily. You like not having to headbutt doors hard to get them to let you through! Very nice.

Your other guardians don’t seem to be awake. Or, rather, they don’t seem to be in the living room or kitchen. You don’t hear them, either. Are they hiding? You decide to check behind the furniture, just in case. Once you’re satisfied that no, they are not hiding behind or under the sofa or tables, you decide to check the other room, gently shuffling the door open like the smart little bug you are. Scaring them is bad, after all!

There they are! Asleep. You peek over the edge of the platform they’re on at them after pulling yourself upright, pausing long enough to look at the smeared paint on Hradil’s face. When neither stirs or talks to you, you shuffle off into the other room. Which is a room you like! It has the bath, which is loads of fun. There’s nothing in there right now, which is disappointing. But you do spot a pair of containers up on the counter. Pulling yourself upright again is an ordeal, but you do eventually manage, and from there, reaching the things is easy.

You recognize the smell of it as soon as you wiggle the lids off. This is the stuff Hradil uses on his face to make the pretty designs! You’re excited, really. You can do it too! It’s not hard to smear the stuff on yourself, and you do your best to mimic Hradil’s pattern. Belatedly, you contemplate adding a fin pattern to the sides of your face. You can be Hradil and Sunzuu at the same time, right? You’re pretty sure you can.

Though, when you open your eyes, your pusher skips a beat.

That’s super illegal. Or, at least, it was. Now it’s just not a good thing. “Ceteus?” You sit up, and Sunzuu blinks awake, shooting upright as well when he sees your wriggler’s face. “Grubby, did you get into my paints?” You make yourself calm. They shouldn’t freak out.