hockey was a mistake

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Janaina Medeiros
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@radiowings
hockey was a mistake

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i yearn for the simpler times when i got to explain dylan larkin as the guy who gave his teammates lap dances. now i have to bring up his messy yet so far unsuccessful attempt at divorcing the wings and how hes getting cock (trade) blocked by an old man named stevie y.
@mayguardian apparentlhy this is a very blurry photo of him giving justin abdelkader a lap dance circa 2017. wild times
the arc of history is long but it bends towards rpf
Sufjan Stevens, Michigan vinyl (2004)
nhl offseason in a nutshell so far
bottom ten team: we have just paid a player that no one has ever heard of TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS
jason robertson: no i dont want to be paid 15 million dollars by YOU. who want me tho? no fr who want me?
ducks: we HATE our group
canes: we LOVE our group
half the league: captains? anyone want to be the new captain? no?
kings: i am going to pay a random 40-year-old 8 million dollars a year. yes this is getting us a cup
kraken: well fuck me i guess. worth a shot
connor bedard: i am going to KILL MYSELF
mike grier: well they dont call me big money mike for no reason. you get 8 mil and you get 8 mil and everyone gets 8 mil except for the guys who were alr on the team!
panthers + also gleb for some reason: i am going to KILL EVERYONE ELSE
habs: oui oui puppies! and kittens! and rainbows! and every one of them gets a choco chunk cookie (reasonable contract and term).
danny briere to his ex situationship: "hey... time to run it back... no fr tho... u still want me?" *crickets* "ok watch me money spread. you want me now?"
everyones goalies for some reason: "bye"
elliotte FUCKING friedman: your favorite fourth liner just got sent to HELL for future considerations
dylan larkin: hey so about that trade

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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you're laughing. danny briere just blew up the national hockey league right before a long weekend and you're laughing. good. i'm laughing too. this is so fuckign funny
the arc of history is long but it bends towards rpf
there is no way for danny to lose. either he gets a great star center, or he entirely fucks anaheim's cap situation and ability to re-sign players. AND in the process, he's thrown a bomb at all the teams who have young star forwards they'll need to sign in the next few years... he really said what if i did some psychological warfare and (as a fun side effect) (just for me) (i deserve it), ensured a bunch of young players got bigger salaries at their next negotiation? that could be fun i think. im Old Gay Danny Briere. let's go to war
njdevils 🚨 TRADE ALERT 🚨 // We've acquired Amadeus Lombardi from the Detroit Red Wings in exchange for our fourth-round pick in the 2026 NHL Draft.
ig 26.6.25

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how to draw a circle by joan tierney
richard silken
No, love, in real life you can get all the way to death and never have finished one single story. ― Catherynne M. Valente
Player of the game: Emmitt Finnie
Canada vs Slovenia || 2026 world championship
22.5.26
guy who just remembered that detroit is getting a pwhl team

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everything about the nhl is rigged and corrupt and evil until something unjustly good happens to a team i like at which point it becomes The Will Of God
if i were an nhl social media admin i’d wait 1-2 days after a big physical game and force random players to strip to their shorts and give us a bruise tour