rac attack

You realize that people take drugs because it’s the only real personal adventure left to them in their time-constrained, law-and-order, property-lined world. It’s only in drugs or death we’ll see anything new, and death is just too controlling.

“I love you but I do not feel safe to love you. Do you understand? My heart, it does not feel safe. It feels as though it has the tip of one hundred knives pressed against it. One wrong move and it will be sliced to pieces. So it beats ever-so quietly. Loves you ever-so silently. It buys you mangoes. Kisses your cheek. Reaches for your hand but does not grasp it too tightly. It waits for the knives to recede.”

You are never stronger… than when you land on the other side of despair.

I was feeling everything too much. Everything was pulling at my eyes.

Sometimes I remind myself that I almost skipped the party, that I almost went to a different college, that the whim of a minute could have changed everything and everyone. Our lives, so settled, so specific, are built on happenstance.