Goblin Boyo

early 2000s childhood…

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Leo (from TMNT 2012) acts as a big brother caregiver for a trans guy who age regresses.

He sees and treats this trans guy just like he does with his other brothers. When he is overwhelmed, overstimulated, it feeling overly dysphoric, Leo does his best to help him. Leo cares for his little bro, and does his best to help when his brother is age regressed. Leo is very protective of his brothers and will do anything for any of them.

this is little joy!!!

yea fictional caregivers are sooo amazing :D

That’s a good question, thank you for asking.

I feel the need to note, before starting, that the usual stuff you’d do to have a healthy friendship with any human being is still a good idea here. Communicate clearly, establish well-defined expectations and boundaries, be kind, give the benefit of the doubt, apologize when appropriate, forgive when possible. Narcissists are still human, after all.

As for NPD-specific advice…

The most important things my friends do for me are a) provide me with supply, b) reassure me when I ask, c) make me feel important, and d) create a nonjudgemental environment for me to exist in.

“Supply” is the term for attention given to a narcissist that helps them regulate their self-worth and identity. “Compliments” and “praise” are commonly thought of as synonyms, but that’s not actually true. You’d want to ask your friend what specifically constitutes supply for them, because it varies a lot between narcs. One of my friends (who is also a narcissist) gets his supply from being called a pathetic freak. I get mine from being called God. The general theme is not praise or even positive attention: it’s reflecting back to the narcissist the way they want to be perceived.

Reassurances compensate for external situations that damage a narc’s ego. For example, telling your friend that you still think they’re smart after they get (what they consider to be) a bad grade on a test. It’s entirely reasonable to request that your friend tell you—either in the moment or in advance—what kinds of reassurances they want to hear. I always ask my friends to say the particular things I need to hear, at the time I need to hear them. Personally, I also like to tell them precisely what words to use, but this is uncommon.

Wanting to feel important and needed by one’s friends is pretty ordinary, but narcissists usually want to be the most important person to their friends… at least, in something specific. With regard to me, I’m a leader and a planner; I want my friends to put their lives in my hands and trust me to make choices for them. Other versions of the same concept include wanting to be a trusted advisor, to be the resident expert on a certain subject, to be unique or special in some abstract way, or to fill a role no-one else in the your life occupies. If I don’t feel like I’m special to a person in this way, it’s pretty much impossible for them to move beyond “amiable acquaintance” territory.

Finally, NPD generally makes people extremely self-conscious. Body-checking, asking the same questions repeatedly in a compulsive fashion, and social anxiety are all common. The relevant disorders resulting from extrema of these behaviors (anorexia, OCD, and agoraphobia) are, at least in my anecdotal experience, often comorbid with NPD. Creating a place that feels safe—where your friend can open up and be their honest self without needing to constantly worry about how they compare to an internalized perfectionistic ideal—is an incredible kindness. If you can say it and mean it, the best thing to tell a friend with NPD is “I promise that, no matter what, I’ll always see you the way you want to be seen.”

A few things to add, from the more socially unpleasant NPD symptoms…

NPD often has alexithymia as a symptom, similar to autism. It’s difficult to know what we’re feeling, and we can blame random unrelated stuff for our emotions as a result. Trying to identify my feelings is often like groping around in the dark trying to find a specific object by touch alone. And trying to find out what caused them is often a multi-hour-long deductive process. The best thing you can do is be patient, offer your help, and let your friend take breaks from conversations when necessary. (Therapy also helps with this, but that’s advice for the narcissist themself.)

Narcissists are very sensitive to perceived criticism. Note the emphasis. I can think of something as a criticism when it’s a completely innocuous question, a statement that has nothing to do with me, or even when it’s intended as a compliment. The question “what did you hear me say?” can get you out of a lot of tough scrapes, if you say something normal and your friend suddenly gets really upset for no good reason.

*Say cheeese*

Bay sketches

I was unsure how to write this, so I had put it in the back of my mind. I hope this is similar to what you wanted! 2012 has also been added to the fandom list! -Oak

■ 2016/Bayverse TMNT CG headcanons! ■

Leo

Caregiver

Isn't always the one taking care of Mikey, but gets into headspace sometimes regardless

Donnie

No label, doesn't identify as a caregiver but can act as one, he still likes helping out

Will look after Mikey if there is no one else around, or if Mikey wants to hang out with him specifically

Raph

Flip

Acts as an older brother caregiver to Mikey

Usually likes to regress by himself, is opposed to anyone knowing

Finds out after everyone discusses Mikey being a regressor, but keeps it a secret

Mikey

Regressor/permaregressor (literally says he never mentally matured past age 6, in S4E6)

Likes almost anyone and everyone to take care of him, feels the most comfortable around leather head

Casey

Like Donnie, he's unlabeled but can act as a caregiver

He's kind of an older brother type of figure to Mikey, more like a bad influence older friend

April

Likes to be a "babysitter"

Hii! I couldn't get any ideas for the first character but I do remember Casey Jones from 2012!

What the heck are these guys doing here..?

Oh yeah. I can do what I want :3