it's always two distinguished gentlemen saying precisely to each other

Reblog this and tell me what was your biggest crying over a piece of fiction. You can be vague if you don't want to spoil.

w to lato musicie być na plaży grubi brzydcy owłosieni i szczęśliwi. i dobrze nawodnieni i wysmarowani spfem

Translation cuz the message is important: in summer on a beach you must be fat, ugly, hairy and happy. And well-hydrated and covered with SPF

wait I have one more story. there's a group of anti-abortion protesters who often set up by the Ethiopian cafe I hang out in, and when I was waiting to cross one of them held up an aborted fetus sign and said "how does this make you feel?" and I said "hungry", and then I was so satisfied by my own cleverness that I missed the lights and stepped off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic

Thinking really hard about Ianthe. She convinced her one-sided lesbian situationship to give her a new arm after she got dismembered by a saint. She and her twin sister love to dip their toes into incest sometimes but not in ways you’d expect. She also uses her magic to make herself look sickly so her sister can breast boobily. She and Jesus might be fucking but neither of them probably enjoys it. She voluntarily wore a maid dress in a game show inside her own mind. I hate her. She’s awesome. What is wrong with her.