they took me in the night.

hey, that doesn’t say a lot about me. i’m just .. you don’t even know what happened, okay. >:T she was doing that thing with the .. burying her face into her hands and the .. sniffling. and the whole .. /waves hands into the air.) shut up ok. :C I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. it doesn’t usually WORK. oh my fuck /punches him halfheartedly.) shut up. stay hidden in the bushes. wear a, uh, trenchcoat and one of those inspector gadget hats. then you’ll look like a real perv. ………… /I: face.) you’re oh-so~ funny.

it’s actually everything BUT. because i’m dragging you with me. if i’m in this, you’ve gotta at least go halfway. thanks. love you too. ;D .. hi. /awk.) no, he’s just hanging around until i get home safely, you know — /dofjshkgfdgd like falls on ryan because he didn’t expect him to go that fast.) 

we are bffs, man. that is, until you die on me. so basically the point is: don't die on me, okay?

yes, it does. /just raises his eyebrow while max is talking. sure, okay. sure it doesn't work all the time. tell that to my face next time i squeeze a favour out of you that way. 8) /snickers as he's being punched. oh my god, you totally liiiiike her. what, is her squirrely brand of violence attractive to you? maybe it's the creepy, bug-like eyes? /wow now ryan's just being an asshole sorry. xD ew, why would i want to do that. looking like a real perv's your job. ha, that's right, i am funny, so you better remember that, okay?

so let me get this straight. you’re gonna raise me from the dead just to kill me and make me dead again. .__. great logic there. ryan gallagher, smartest boy on the planet. :3

I DON’T KNOW WHY I AGREED TO THIS. she was sniffling and crying and being all cute and shit and then i just fell into her trap. :/ it was hard ok. okay, i’ll let you borrow my binoculars if she doesn’t let you in. and if you see me being stabbed by high heels, then you come in pronto and get me the hell outta there. i’m .. /snicker.) sure she won’t do it again. as long as you keep your mouth shut. it can do magic, okay. i’ll clean your room for you if you want. with my magic stick. 

this is not funny. he’s supposed to be here. i’m not waiting here all night — oh shit i think that’s him. /stares back and is like oh.) … don’t leave me alone with him./that’s whispered to ryan.) /slowly gets into the car.) 

shut up, that is great logic, okay. that is anger logic talking right there. as if, if you die on me, i will be so angry i'll raise you from the dead and deny you a second chance at life, that's how angry i'll be. so. there.

oh geez, you mean the trap of her being a girl? wait, she was being what?? oh my god, if a girl can get you to agree to shit with a little sniffling and crying you're in for a world of hurt and disappointment, mate. /shakes head. /snorts. i bet something was hard. /DON'T LOOK AT ME MAX SET HIMSELF UP. but okay, okay. wow i'm gonna look like such a pervert, sneaking on you guys with binoculars. fine, mouth shut around the devil. i can do that. and...fine. do clean my room then. with your "magic stick." /snickers max set himself up again okay.

okay good. not HOPEFULLY. i’ll be coming out from this. and when i do, we’ll be drinking more booze to celebrate my .. survival.

she said she was going to teach me. is it bad that i’m nervous. because i am. for my own neck. and my feet. tell me about it. RYAN WHAT DID I SIGN UP FOR. i just sign up for all the wrong things. clearly. ………. stan puts his wand to shame. but i don’t care what he does with his wand. i care about what happens to my wand because it’s mine. you. take care of it or i will haunt you until the day you die.

do you think this is a laughing matter, mr gallagher ???? 

yeah, well. you suck. /wow gr8 comeback ryan

yes. good. you better be, or i'll drag you back from the dead myself and then kill you for leaving me alone. and the more booze, the better. 8)

oh god oh god oh GOD the devil said she was going to teach you??? and you thought it was a good idea to spend extended amounts of time with her why??? okay, shit, calm the fuck down, okay. if i can't come to this party, i can at least come to these...dancing lessons, to chaperone, okay. you'll be fine. and hopefully she won't give me a bloody nose again. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU JUST SIGNED UP FOR, OKAY, I'M TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT MYSELF. ughhh, fine, i'll take care of your stick...thing. that happens to be able to do magic. supposedly.

oh wait.

alright, how about after this tux business and before i go to that ball ‘cause i’m gonna need something before i dive into hell. 

i don’t know how to dance and you damn well know i don’t know shit about rich people parties. :( i’m worried too, man. about everything. how do we even sneak you in? frankie might knock you out again and i don’t want you swallowing your teeth. alright, say things get really bad, i’ll text you and scram. can we at least pretend i’m going to survive this and come out in one piece? ;DD … i am not letting you have my wand. ever. you put it to shame.

thanks.

no, my kidnapping is being held off.

DAMN IT RYAN I’M BEING STOOD UP

ugh

are you trying to imply something, huh.

deal. deal. we can also celebrate your brave entry into enemy territory and what will hopefully not be your last normal night on earth.

well...i'm thinkin' you better learn soon, because shit. oh god, i don't want that happening either. :c christ, that girl's like a wolverine in a mini-skirt and cherry lip gloss. fine, fine, deal. and okay... it's just one party, it shouldn't be so terribly life-threatening. hey, i'm putting it to very creative uses, okay. it's better than what stan does with his, anyway -- pretty sure he just sticks it under his chair to make it more level.

you got stood up at your own kidnapping? /snort

/snort

/snort

you know i don’t usually get myself involved in these kinds of things, but who knows what’ll happen to me if i back out now. you got your nose broken. i might get thrown off a 30-story building or something. shut up. i’ll be standing near the wall most of the time. /likely STORY.) so what if i whored myself out a little? /nudgenudge.) what worldly belongings? you can have my wand … if you know how to use it. 8)

aurelio. the big one. thanks, man. i owe you if you can actually find me one.

crap i’m being kidnapped

hm, true that. yeah, booze and junk food, that's gotta be the life, woohoo. yo, when are we actually hanging out so we can drink this booze and eat this junk food? am i gonna have to write a "bro schedule"? please don't make me do that, that's...well, gay. yeah, guess so, that sounds like it would've been a drag. i don't know how stan does it all the time. /lol, rookwood'll say. ;D

jesus. true. do you even know how to dance, though? do you even know how to act at these fancy rich people parties? how do i sneak in and act as your bodyguard? look, i don't want to sound like, well, emma, but i'm getting really fucking worried that this might turn out kind of badly. oh, ew. please do not even ask that question and then touch me ever, ever again. just ew. i dunno, all your savings? your comics? and sure, i'll put your wand to good use...to unclog the toilet whenever luke takes an unusually large dump again. 8)

oh, the scary one. yeah, yeah, i'll see what i can do.

wait, you're being what? are you joking? you're joking, right? 

hey. /playful shove.) i’m serious this time. it really is a favour and nothing more or i really did sign an awful deal with the devil. you know. i d e a s. ryan gallagher ideas. whatever ideas that dirty little mind of yours can think of. /holds hands up defensively!) technically, it is not a DATE. it is .. just a ball that i have to show up at. IN MY DEFENSE, she .. i .. … i’ve got nothing. i roped myself into hell, but i might get paid for it so. you know. /attempts to shrug it off ; shoves hands into pockets meekly.) i’m alright, i’M ALRIGHT. just .. if i don’t show up next week, start by looking at the bottom of the river.

… i’m serious about the tux though. you gotta help me out if you can because asking her brother is my last resort.

seriously?? damn, and i wasn't invited to his funeral? i probably missed out on some good booze and some damn good finger food. heh, maybe you should've done homework for kids like stan did. or been the "corrupt cop" of hogwarts. 

fiiine. man, you really are serious about it. /innocent look. i really don't know what you're talking about, max. i would never, ever get any kinds of ideas like that. OH, OKAY. totally not a date then, if you're taking her to a freaking ball. you might get paid for it? did you -- /snorts. did you just prostitute yourself out to a princess of a big-time mafia family? /laughs and pats max's back sympathetically. jeeeeesus. fine, i'll keep an eye out for ya, as long as you promise to leave me all your worldly belongings when you die.

yeah, i’ll just dig it out from under my personal chauffeur and diamond-studded pony.

no, dumbass, does it look like i own a tux?