Juliana Arau

Starkle, starkle, little twink, Who the hell are you I think. I'm not under what you call The alcofluence of incohol. I'm just a little slort of sheep, I'm not drunk like thinkle peep. I don't know who is me yet, But the drunker I stand here the longer I get. So just give me one more fink to drill my cup, 'Cause I got all day sober to Sunday up.

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life… Elizabeth Gilbert

You want life-changing advice? Do everything differently today. Scare yourself. Dance for no reason. Sing louder than ever before. Talk to new people. If it scares you to death, do a lot of it. Act as if today is THE day. You'll thank me tomorrow.” —Justin Rogers

Hire two private Investigators. Get them to follow each other.

What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants its ass back?