quote list: things i've heard with my own two ears

if you ever quote me, i'll sue you for copyright

she blow on my fucking 'til i nose

the fish summoner

we gotta stop playing mario kart once there's death threats

can i use my salad plate to hold my bones

yeah, so the meat's approaching, what do you do?

this is what keyboards were made for; naming dogs "table"

you named your dog paws? that's like naming your kid hands

it's not joever until it's joever

go yank off a dead tree

x: *flicking cards at y across the table for several minutes, completely in silence* y: ....this is abuse

schrödinger's catboy

*distressed* i just wanna see titties!

i'm like an irregular hexagon, you don't know how to take me

*14 minutes past end of lecture* i'm running low on time, aren't i?

yeah, sorry, it's my turn, i was just sticking my hand in cheese

there's a lot of evidence of men loving men…. in the fun way