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“You up to something special darling? It looked a little more involved then your usual Outstagram shoot?” Smirking as Lea takes it upon herself to start to scroll through the new photos, studying them all closely, a critical look on her lovely face.

“I want the perfect attention grabbing shot for my announcement.” Stilling in her work at my proclamation. Leaning back to look up at me confusion on Lea’s face.

“What announcement Zen? I don’t recall we were getting ready to reveal any new projects?” Burying my nose in her hair, my long fingers running teasingly between her thighs.

“Hmmm, well you know it’s almost photo day? Your beloved boyfriend might have booked a special shoot with Rui that day. One I plan to spam all over my Outstagram.” Tossing my phone to the side, my body pulsating with excitement at the news of my surprise. The hand that had been holding my cell drifting up my girlfriend’s shirt to tease along the lace at the top of her bra. “My first picture day with you. We’re going to look jaw dropping.” Wistful tone as I playfully squeeze her clothed breast in my large hand. Usually Lea is very receptive to my touch today she jerked away and from the look on her face I could tell she wasn’t happy.

“Hyun- '' Flinching I know both the tone and the look I was being leveled with. My girlfriend hated having to deny me anything. To say she spoiled me rotten would be an understatement but somehow I’d crossed some kind of line with what I hoped was going to be happy information. “I’d love to do the photoshoot with you. Rui is always kind to us but you know you can’t post the pictures on Outstagram again.” Reaching out to grip the side of my face this time it was me that lurched back from her.

“But it’s my social media and I was going to make an announcement and make a big deal out of a rare appearance by you. I think my fans will like it.” The volume of my voice rising as I feel heat rush to my face. Already aware what Lea’s answer was going to be because my agency and their PR department was always in conflict with me about something.

“Baby, you remember clearly how furious they got after Valentine’s Day. They threatened to reevaluate your contract. Please don’t push them again. At least not until after you’re established a little bit more as a drama actor and we hopefully have a little wiggle room for demands.” The concern heavy in Lea’s voice doesn’t waylay my surge of emotions like it usually would.

“I need to move.” Squeaking in surprise as I stand and scoop Lea up in my arms before depositing her back on the couch. ‘I’m going out for a run.” It had been a long time since I’d exercised angry. Maybe since I injured myself prior to Echogirl. Generally I could talk to Lea but I knew her stance on this would not change. She’d give me my every whim until it came to me being pig headed about my career. I would work myself to the bone for my art but I always wanted to bend the rules for her.

“Hyun please, can we talk about this or-“ Lea had pulled herself up to stand grabbing for my forearm. Gesturing towards the bedroom with her head at her suggestion. The denial was like a cold spray of water. I was insatiable until I was furious and then I just wanted to escape.

“I need to go out. I need to be alone.” Voice hard, even in my anger I’m gentle as I remove Lea’s grip from me. Kissing her finger tips before returning to getting changed. Maybe I was throwing a temper tantrum. I knew I wasn’t going to get my way in this instance and it infuriates me. The fact anyone can dictate anything about my relationship with Lea boils my blood.

“Zen, you know going out mad is not a good idea.” Practically begging me, Lea tugs plaintive on the back of my shirt.

“I need to figure things out in my head Lea, please let me go.” Fighting hard to maintain control. Refusing to scare the smaller woman. When her hold falls away I feel a clench in my heart at having to bicker with her about this on top of my annoyance about my agency. “I won’t be gone long.” Turning I grab her in a hard kiss. Growling into her lips I don’t want her to think I’m mad at her.

“I’ll be waiting when you get back my love.” Looking forlorn when I break away again, but accepting. Lea slowly turns to wander back to the couch. I stomp into our bedroom to get ready to go.

Four miles in, sweat beading and running freely down my taunt body. The dull satisfying ache in my thighs from my exertion doing nothing for me today. My stomach still flopping around and my heart feeling cold, I couldn’t focus on anything. Drawing to a pause and stopping my music, breathing hard I let out a roar of frustration. A dog barks someone in the distance in reply but other than him the street is quiet. Hands on my quadriceps leaning over I’m still livid.

When my life had just been me, I’d drifted along just accepting a lot of these random rules laid out for me by other people. Who I should be seen with, who I shouldn’t. What type of clothes I should wear to what event. Things completely out of the realm of acting or theater. All matters that had never meant anything to me but I’d went along with in hopes of favorable attention and the chance to get on another stage.

Both my agency’s and most of my directors made very little qualms about telling me my looks were the majority of my popularity. I’d like to think with some careful decisions in roles I’m slowly starting to change that but still I wasn’t a fool. My pictures still sold as the most solid portion of my merchandising. The average person would rather look at my face than see me deliver a monologue.

Lea got in the way of their fantasies. It was a fact I was told often, sometimes directly in front of her. Rude people had even had the gall to tell us she was holding me back. It depressed me that she was forced to hear these things. Even if I told her and deep down I knew she could tell they were not true we were both only human and it wore on us. Music is still muted. I start off at a light jog again, willing the movement to take away my muddle of thoughts only today it wasn’t working.

Times like Picture Day might seem silly to some people. They might even seem ridiculous to my girlfriend who I know humors me with them. It was these times that I was able to just be her Hyun, her boyfriend without all the other pressures. Was it too much to ask for just one day a month where she could just be my girlfriend. Lea was an incredible manager. The way she intuitively cared for both my career and me was priceless but I frequently wanted something more for her and to be denied such a simple thing as sharing our beauty with the world. It left me unable to make amends with my feelings.

Slowing to a halt, I let out a hard laugh. Almost like it’s mocking me ahead is a billboard on the side of a bus stand, of me. From an ad I’d been so excited to do for a whiskey company. Lea had worked for weeks making connections and getting me a conversation with them. The two of us figured out how to craft my image to appeal to their higher class clientele. Stalking forward glaring openly at my own visage. Perfectly posed, flawless with makeup and touch ups. Looking suggestively at my audience, drink in hand. Men would want to be me, alluring, masculine and women would want to fuck me making them buy the product for their significant other to live out their fantasy. All typical marketing tactics. At the time I’d been happy to play the game. This was a product I liked and I rarely got offered endorsement work I was actually interested in.

Currently, pulling down my face mask I frown sternly. “This is your fault.” Fists balling I grunt exasperated and hurt. “Everything that I’ve struggled with in life that has gone wrong is because of you.” The volume of my voice rises as the pace of my breathing quickens. “If I’d been born with all my talent but a slightly less beautiful face. Maybe my family wouldn’t have ostracized me. Maybe I could be taken seriously as a performer. Maybe the majority of my fan club wouldn’t think I was owned by them and I could give Lea a halfway normal relationship.” Fat tears well up in my eyes blurring the picture. My guts churn, thinking about all the past couples I’ve seen online for the holiday. How happy they always looked. How in love. Breaking my own heart that no matter how much I want the same thing I’ll probably never have it because I’ve been cursed by my outrageously good looks.

“Have you brought me anything good? I had to run away from home because my own mother tried to damage my appearance. I’ve gotten talked about behind my back since I started working because people think my face is the only reason I get roles. I struggle to make genuine friends because people feel intimidated. I finally meet someone who sees beyond just my beauty but now I have to fucking deny her everything sweet I want to give her. Why?” I can feel the tears streaming down. I'm practically pressing my nose into the glass. “FUCK”, it barely registers when I hit the billboard. The dull thump of my fist punching my reflection in the eye echoes in the empty street. Crying, swinging, it feels like every emotion I’ve been bottling up for maybe years is bleeding out of me.

Jolting to a stop the moment I see blood in my line of vision. Chest heaving lifting my arms I’m horrified to see I’ve cracked the skin on multiple knuckles on both my hands. “Fuck”, only now I sound defeated, small. No longer the roar of fury but the bleat of loss. Frantic I glance around, but unless someone is watching me out a window I at least had enough sense to pick the right street for my outburst. Jerking my face mask back up, my eyes downcast I take off at a fast pace again to home.

Creeping in the door, cradling my more damaged right hand, scanning for my girlfriend. Uncertain what I actually think I’m going to do because it’s not like our apartment is really big enough for me to hide from her. “Zen?” Curiosity in her voice as I’m very slowly attempting to quietly close the door. My expression is sheepish when I turn to meet her. Looking quizzical, Lea seems to be attempting to gage where my mood is after my exercise.

“Hey babe,” Hands subtly drift behind my back, trying to maintain a nonchalant air. Eyes narrowing as Lea studies my face. It wasn’t just that I was naturally a very expressive man but Lea could always seem to read my thoughts. Most of the time I loved that. At the moment I wished I could crawl into a hole.

“What happened darling?” Not anger but worry about my appearance. Sighing I know it’s pointless to minimize my injury. Hang dogged look I hold out both my hands knuckles facing out to her for Lea to see my handiwork.

“Hyun,” horror in both her eyes and her voice. Crossing the room swiftly, gently taking my offered appendages. “Oh baby, what did you do to yourself?” Lifting to kiss my uninjured finger tips. “Zen,” pained, I can see words she wants to say but are holding back. Remorse is clear in my expression. Everything just feels like shit at this moment, except her. The way she leads me to sit at the kitchen table before running into our bathroom. Returning with armfuls of products to fix up my cuts. “At least you're between roles right now. We’ll treat these wounds aggressively so they heal quickly for you.”

Pulling another chair closer to sit right next to me, I watch Lea work diligently on her task. “I’m sorry angel. I know this was stupid-“

“It wasn’t a person right? And do you feel better?” Maintaining focus on her task, I can’t help but let out a short laugh as she asks.

“It was a picture of me.” That stops her. Gaze lifting to assess the meaning behind the information I’d just shared.

“Do you want to talk about it, Hyun?” Deft, delicate finger tips tracing along the back of my hand. It never fails to amaze me how easily I can feel our connection from just a touch. How grounded Lea always makes me feel.

“You know why I’m upset. We both know it won’t change. I feel like running through all of it again will just piss me off more. I chose this life, you chose and accepted me. This is the part that sucks” Heavy thoughts drench me. Deflated, wincing from the sting of the disinfectant. Almost daily I tell Lea I want to give her the world. It’s a joke I can’t even give her the ability to publicly be my girlfriend.

“Why don’t you get cleaned up and change Zen. Then I’ll finish bandaging you up. I canceled our appointment with Rui but we’re having dinner with Jihyun and Heidi tonight. He’s going to take some shots for us beforehand.” Brushing my bangs out of my face before leaning up Lea presses a fond kiss to my forehead. Inside my mind is racing from the news she’d just shared.

“But why did you cancel our appointment? I mean I’m grateful Jihyun would take photos of us. You know I think he’s the best but are we just going to not celebrate Photo Day now?” Clearly whining, feeling strung out. I don’t want to be disappointed by anything else this afternoon.

“I have different plans for our holiday Zen. I’m hoping you can see that sometimes quality is better than quantity.” The cryptic words do nothing to dissuade my rushing thoughts

“Is what we’re doing in theme with the day?” Usually I was a fan of surprises but at the moment I just needed to know I was going to get some sort of celebration.

“Do you trust me Zen?” Soft and devoted, her smile is the first thing to placate my shattered nerves. Of course Lea would ask that question. The one statement she knows I won’t be able to combat.

“With my very life cherub.” This time when Lea nuzzles close she presses her lips to mine and it’s heaven.

“Then go get cleaned up my love.” Hovering, her breath tickles my cheeks. Smitten, Lea can make me stupidly hers in moments, I nod.

“As you wish, my darling girl.”

It was an early morning, Lea forcing me to behave and get ready as we had to be out the door at an unusual hour. Not what I’d had in mind for picture day but if I was with my girlfriend I could excuse our missed workout and rushing to some secret location. When the taxi took us to a small nondescript store front I was even more baffled. Maybe I would have even been concerned except watching the glow in the face of my angel. It hit me that whatever she had planned she was absolutely over the moon about it.

“Can I cover your eyes darling?” Something in my brain fizzed out. My girlfriend is practically wiggling in excitement. It feels like my heart is seizing in my chest.

“I’m at your mercy princess.” Pushing back her curls, purposely dragging my lips along the auricle of her ear. Smirking at the shudder in her breath. Biting her cute little pink tongue peeking at me from between her cherry colored lips. Grunting I want to steal it, but remembering I’ve already been reminded three separate times today to be good. Instead I lounge, inclined forward hands drifting down into my pockets watching my twittering little lamb hunt around in her purse. Ever the picture of the patient and dutiful boyfriend.

Lea had come prepared, pulling out a scarf from her bag after a short search. Giggling as I waggle my eyebrows at her with a flirty purse of my lips. Air kissing her. Standing attentively as Lea covers my eyes with the fabric and ties it tight enough to hold without being uncomfortable. “Can you see anything Zen?”

“No I can’t. I’m such an obedient boy I even closed my eyes. Do I get a reward?” Voice lilting up, raising both my hands to frame my face cutely. Thrilled when Lea’s immediate reply is to press her lips into my waiting ones. It had surprised me she’d been able to deny my charms for this long. Maybe I was losing my touch?

“No more temptation baby.” Running her thumb along my lips I assume trying to clean up her lipstick. “Can you hold my shoulder? I’ll lead you in?” Her hand grips mine, lifting it to her body. Gently holding her arm I nod affirmation.

“I’m your willing servant M’lady.” Picturing Lea was blushing, she didn’t know what to do with herself when I was submissive to her whims.

“Darling Zen?” Pausing, working together Lea indicates we are going in a door and assists me in not getting trapped in it.

“Yes, my baby?” The air inside the building tastes a little stale. Like this place wasn’t used as often. As soon as Lea drew to a second stop I captured her in my arms.

“Are you ready for your surprise, my Adonis?” Squirming in my grip, Lea licks my chin and I let out a nosy groan. Chiding myself for not having the brilliant idea to turn photo day into a sexy movie making day until this moment. Maybe I could make up for being a slave to my agency next year with that.

“Please, my princess. I can’t even imagine what we’re doing.” Soft hands fiddle around my face as the cloth falls away. Gasping, we are standing in a large room with minimal mood lighting, but spaced aesthetically along each wall is photo after photo of Lea and myself. Together, with our friends, outside, inside, the party, it was like a storybook of everything we’ve experienced together since meeting. It was magical. “Lea what is this?” Awe in my tone, slowly turning trying to drink in every detail of us.

“It’s my picture day gift to the love of my life. I never want you to hate any part of yourself Zenny. You are the most dear and real individual I’ve ever had. I’d move the universe to give you what you desire.” It hadn’t taken long for me to tell Lea the entire story about my run that day. The careful and delicate consideration she has treated me with since. The pampering I’ve received. It made me want to misbehave more to get even more attention.

“But if it weren’t for these devilish good looks Jagiya things would be so much easier.” Pouting, pushing, seeing what else I can get. Shaking her head Lea was also well aware when I was fishing.

“Even with your delectable appearance my darling, we have a perfect life. With perfect friends. Yoosung and the twins helped me put together what pictures to use. Jihyun helped find and arrange this place, “Jaehee helped organize everything and Jumin- well he paid for it all.” Sheepish Lea laughs. “And we’re not the only ones here to enjoy this little exhibition either.” Beckoning me with her finger, Lea starts to move towards a doorway and I realize there is another room in the rear of this one. Curious, I followed her clasping hands as we strolled into what was the larger part of his building which had to be a gallery from the set up.

“Surprise!” Half hearted laughter as upon entering Yoosung and Saeyoung yell out the word. Everyone glanced up at us at our entrance. Jihyun and Heidi to one side where from their positions I can tell he was just explaining something about the picture they were in front of. Jumin Han appeared to be dictating something while making poor Jaehee work instead of just enjoying the holiday. Tables of snacks and drinks including my favorite beer. Saeran is hanging next to them with his girlfriend who I just recently met for the first time, Lumen. They seemed to be feeding one another some of the sweets. Saeyoung and Yoosung were also hovering near the tables with Eunji and Byeol. It looked like they had all been making conversation but the second we entered Yoosung broke away. He was coming to hug my girlfriend because he knows it bugged the shit out of me.

“Happy picture day guys.” Bright smile from the younger blonde as he did just what I suspected he would. Opening his arms and Lea broke away from me to say hello. The smug grin Yoosung graces me with is met by a look of loathing from me. Behind Yoosung, Saeyoung chortles.

“Someone doesn’t like to share.” Glaring as Lea immediately glances back at me. The fond smile that graces her face causes a chain reaction in me. Pulling away from Yoosung with a squeeze to his hand Lea returns to my side wrapping her arms around me as I grin triumphantly at my friend.

“You keep spoiling him like that and he will become impossible.” The droll voice of Saeran breaks my mood. Smirking from where he is presenting Lumen with a truffle. Laughter from the Choi side of the room answered by an exasperated noise from behind me.

“I think that scenario is already a given.” Jumin is smirking himself brow raised and I glower, Lea’s grip tightening around me the only reason I don’t launch in a tirade.

“We’re here for a celebration.” Quiet and steady, Jihyun’s soft tone stilled the more raucous noise. “Happy picture day to you both.” Inclining his head at us as Heidi, smiling gracefully tucked into his side.

“The photos from the other night came out perfect.” Excited, I’d watched her and Lea quietly talk to each other while Jihyun had set up the pictures. It wouldn’t surprise me if my princess was more concerned with my actions then she’d let on or that she’d share her worries with our friends. Heidi I’m certain was hoping the positive news would change my mood.

“And we picked out good choices too.” Eunji’s bright voice drew my attention back to the other side of the room. “And I even stopped Saeyoung from picking photos of you sneezing.” Giggling as Eunji shrugs at her own teasing.

“And it wasn’t easy, you know how persistent he can be.” Rolling her eyes playfully, Byeol pokes the red head.

“Obviously my choices are the best ones.” Giggling himself Saeyoung points over to the corner where I can see a photo of a group of us doing silly poses fully decked out after one of our parties.

“Can we get started? I don’t understand the point of this holiday anyway and it was my understanding the reason we all had to gather was because Zen is incapable of behaving in public.” Jumin had pulled out his cell phone slowly scrolling across the screen.

“Sir that’s not entirely accurate-“ Vaguely I’m aware of Jaehee coming to my defense as my brain fizzles down to the color red. Fury at the wanton disregard of my pain, tensing not certain what action I was about to take but ready to strike back at the robot judging me.

“Hyun.” Desperate, her voice and the press of Lea’s form directly into the front of my mine blocking my path shakes my sudden outrage. “Look at me baby.” Dainty hands that hold me stronger than a vice, bring my gaze down to hers. Losing myself in Lea’s dark pools feeling my breathing automatically slow to match hers. Shaking her head demure in her warning.

“Fuck you Jumin Han.” Throwing venom at the raven haired man as he gazes cooly at me from above his phone screen.

“I see you prove my point.” Lea’s bristling in my arms turned swiftly.

“Guy’s this is supposed to be a day for us to all get together, let's not fight.” Yoosung’s plea breaking out from the side of where we are standing.

“Typical, this whole group is such a mess.”

“You’re not helping Saeran.” The sharp tone of Byeol quickly cut in.

“Baby, let's go for a walk. Let them figure out their own shit.” Low voice as with a smirk Saeran leans into his girlfriend pushing her hair behind her ear. Running his finger tips down and along her exposed collar bone. Brow cocked his eyes burning as they fell on her lips. Lumen wiped a small smug of chocolate off her boyfriend’s cheek, licking her thumb, glancing between Jumin and myself before nodding coyly with a grin.

“Maybe take a little something for ourselves?” Gesturing towards the table, Saeran follows, laughing lowly.

“I love the way you think princess.” Balancing an entire platter of truffles with one hand as Saeran’s other arm firmly wraps around Lumen’s waist, his fingers digging possessively into her hip. The two saunter out of the room. Lumen leaves all of us with a small wave. The show of their departure having dulled the anger hanging heavy prior. Frowning up at Jumin he’s now pointedly ignoring me.

“Let’s go look at our pictures baby,” But Lea’s already there. Tightly clutching the side of my shirt anchoring us together.

“I want to show you my favorite first Zen.” Yoosung’s bound up next to her. Powerless against them both, I nod as I allow myself to be led away. Out of the corner of my eye I see Jihyun and Heidi crossing to Jumin. Winking at me Heidi nods towards the CEO in line and I know they are going to handle whatever just occurred to smooth things over. Mouthing my gratitude I’m very glad to instead focus my attention on my princess tickling her sides as she squeaks and attempts to run from me jovially.

Pausing I watch Saeyoung moving towards the food with both the ladies with him. “I don’t think your brother had an altruistic purpose but thank him for breaking the tension for me.” Brows knitting for a moment Saeyoung forces out a laugh that’s a little too hard. It seemed his relationship with his twin was still progressing slowly. Making a mental note I’d have to get together with him soon so we could talk about it.

“Yeaaah. I’ll let him know.” Eunji grabbed Saeyoung’s hand, squeezing it with a sweet smile of concern, painting her lovely face. Golden eyes shining, Saeyoung follows his lips creeping back up into a grin soothed by the light of his sun and stars.

Yoosung stopped us in front of a piece that was also one of my favorite pictures of the three of us. Lea and I had taken him out the night before his birthday so we could celebrate him turning another year older at midnight together. Yoosung had of course gotten a little tipsy and it was the two of us singing a drinking song and dancing, with Lea very obviously laughing at us. The picture had been taken by someone at the next table and the lightning in the bar was very flattering. It was such a perfect representation of our relationship, together, everyone looked so happy. It had been such a good night. Looking at the photos at either side it hits me how many amazing memories are contained in this room.

“I can’t picture how hard it is Zen to not be able to share the things you want to. I think we’re the most alike in that we both really wanted relationships where we could have these goofy romantic times and now you get the chance to do them and I know I’d be mad if it was denied to me because of the other big love in my life.” At my side I can see my girlfriend encouraging Yoosung to continue and it dawns on me. Of course she’d probably spoken to everyone else but she’d turned to him for help. He was the person both of us were closest to and spent enough time with us that he’d definitely become our third wheel.

“But don’t you think Zen at the end of the day you do get to share everything you want to with the people that actually matter. I know you have a lot of Outstagram followers and you get more everyday but we’re your family.” Heartfelt and actually profound, the comment sets my thoughts into a momentary whirl. For so long I’d been caught up in having the perfect standard relationship like you’d see in a movie or read in a book. Expectations for things we’d do or say at certain times and events that would happen.

“I’m still disappointed you have to make accommodations for my career Lea.” There it was. That was the heart of the matter for me. Lea tried to reshape the universe to give me everything I desired. Shouldn’t she be frustrated with me or mad and shouldn’t she blame me?”

“Oh my darling,” playing with my hair the way she was watching me like I was the most treasured being in her world. It set my heart into a rapid beat. “I love you, for you, for this handsome face that strikes me stupid almost daily, your bold heart that takes my breath away. I never accommodate anything in my life for you. Hyun you accentuate everything beautiful and good and you bring me a never ending bliss.”

“We’re all glad to know you Zen. Even Jumin, who will never admit it. You’re an important part of our family.” Bowled over by a tsunami of emotions. I find myself just staring up at the picture we are in front of biting my lip feeling tears pricking the sides of my eyes. My entire life I’d been alone on some level. Often told I wasn’t good enough or unwanted. Maybe at the end of the day that’s what I’d most been looking for. Validation I did belong and that I was here and that I loved this woman at my side with an audacity that frightened me. But I was seen and understood every single day by the people that did genuinely matter to me.

“My love-“ Her fixated attention on me wavered as Lea gripped my forearm signaling me to look behind us. Yoosung’s head lifted and he gasped before it melted down into a grin of fondness. Spinning I too stopped. Jihyun was behind us a few feet and in his arms he held my favorite picture from the ones we’d taken a few days ago. Blown up, framed. The picture currently in our living room of us, my past favorite from our first party, was romantic but felt more posed, less authentic. Jihyun had captured our essence. Out of nowhere that day I’d swung Lea up sideways across my shoulders. It was a cheeky move I sometimes pulled at the gym to do squats with her. We were both laughing and it was the most natural and joyous I’d ever seen us. We looked like the perfect pair. Framed by the golden light of the sun setting. It was our love captured in such a way it struck me speechless.

“My picture day gift to you Hyun.” Jihyun was speaking and I could feel the press and hear the exclamations of all of our friends.

“Thank you.” There was a rawness to my voice I wasn’t used to. Struggling against such an overwhelming feeling of love from everyone. It was different then at the stage door with my fans. These people knew me, Hyun Ryu and they still cared about me this much. “All of you. Even you.” Conflicted when I glower at Jumin. His expression remains stone with the exception of the mildest twitch to his lips.

“Even I will admit that piece is aesthetically pleasing. Jihyun as usual created a masterpiece. Which was probably made easier by the fact the two of you are very obviously in love and seem to compliment one another.” The indifference in Jumin Han’s face made his words even better. If he could see that about Lea and myself when he was a robot who didn’t even understand the concept of romance it must be the most plain fact. It pleased me enough that I didn’t even feel the need to insult him.

“I appreciate that Jumin.” Struck, attention falling back on how perfect Jihyun had captured our love before I find my eyes returning to my princess who is also staring slightly starry eyed at the photo. “I appreciate all of you. I know you’re here because let’s face it I did act like a dumb shit earlier this week.” Voice rising, taking command of the room, scanning and meeting the face of each of my friends (and my family). “The truth is I need to grow up. I’m acting like a child. I want things a certain way, but that kind of life is not possible for me.” Unsurprised when I feel Lea’s hand latch onto the side of my shirt again. My steady support.

“None of us have a normal life, except maybe Yoosung. That’s probably why he can’t get a girlfriend?” Saeyoung chortles at his own quip as Yoosung’s voice immediately lifts in protest. Chuckling, I shrug sheepishly at the red head.

“I bet all of you have other plans today. Well, except maybe Yoosung.” Now the blonde’s face is turning crimson in annoyance.

“I came here to be nice. Why are all of you being assholes?” Reaching out I slap Yoosung’s shoulder good natured.

“Thank you everyone for caring enough about my princess and about me to share this morning with us and knock a little sense into my thick head. I belong here with every single one of you. You’re all an important part of our story. Even Saeran and Lumen.” Vulnerable, I’d gathered Lea against me, my hand in her hair. Relaxing as she settled her body into mine.

“When the RFA was formed it was to help disadvantaged people.” Heidi took the large portrait from Jihyun as he started speaking to settle it safely to the side. Fidgeting with nothing to hold, the cerulean haired man had something important to share but was still struggling with his memories. “I don’t think any of us realized what this group would come to mean to each other.”

“People I can depend on.” Jumin’s dry voice, laying a supportive hand on Jihyun’s shoulder as Heidi returned to encourage him.

“People we can love.” Heidi’s charming smile finally allowed Jihyun to breath fully again.

“People who teach us.” Biting his lip, Yoosung was already emotional and struggling to contain his own tears.

“People who understand us.” The quiet tone of Jaehee with a soft look of appreciation warmed the whole group.

“People who care.” Pushing her long hair behind her ear, Byeol reaches out gripping Saeyoung’s hand as he smiles at her.

“Support no matter what you’ve done.” Reflective, flush, Saeyoung swallows hard as Eunji presses a hand against his cheek on his other side.

“You always have someone who has your back.” Squeezing Saeyoung’s bicep, Eunji beams out at the group as there is a murmur of agreement from everyone.

“Forgiveness,” Having gathered himself Jihyun looked stronger. Watching the conviction in his face I could feel the power in his words.

“It’s given me a home.” My princess, her sentiment sending me spiraling into a whirlpool of love for her, because I knew I was the heart of where she belonged.

“You’re my family.” There was nothing else I could say, it was the most important feeling I had and I knew every single person standing here with me felt the same. The atmosphere was tender but quiet for a time. Kissing Lea’s temple I could see silent looks and touches shared between many of us.

“We still have all the food my chef prepared. Everything is exquisite, perhaps we should partake in some before we further examine the photography.” For once I didn’t see a reason to argue with Jumin Han. It was the right suggestion.

My life was destined to be a show. Regardless of what I do, it was who I was. Yet it wasn’t until this moment that I truly realized how lucky I am to be performing it with these people. This was only the first act and now I understood I wasn’t looking for my standing ovation but that one face in the crowd that tells me everything is as beautiful as I dreamed it would be. Arm wrapped around the shoulders of the woman I love with the people I admire we moved to celebrate. The picture perfect group of strangers that have become a tribe of friends.

My beautiful and darling Zen divider provided for ME by the truffle eating princess of a grumpy red haired man @luxielle