Quiet Eden

My heart is heavy with thoughts of you. Like a waterfall, my emotions plummet into a deep pool. There they gather, gaining intensity, pooling in their passion. Swirling, twirling, causing me to gasp and sigh. I say my heart is heavy, but do not mistake it for a bad thing. Nay, precious one - quite the contrary. It is a delightful heaviness, a grounding weight, one that makes me feel alive and full of joy. Oh, how I revel in the depths of my feelings. How I revel, in the depths of you.

Cobblestones underfoot, I walk the pathway down memory lane. A flashback of sunlight filtering lazily through the trees, the sweet aroma of summer in the air. The lake nearby looking serene and hazy, elegant swans gliding through the lightly rippled waters. I hold your sunbrella for you, a gentleman’s offering of kindness, as we walk the tree-lined trail through the heart of the park. I see you glimpse at me, and as I look over to meet your gaze, I catch a split second of such mystery and intrigue, I all but gasp out loud. A mere moment, before you look down abashed. It is our first proper meeting, but already I see the depth of your inner workings - there is more than meets the eye. You are not just a beauty, external. Oh no. You are so much more.

I lose myself in you, time and time again. I fall into the depths of you, surrounded by you, wholly enraptured. I’m transported to a quiet little clearing, far away from the busy, the noise. I sit along the bank of a river, watching the water ripple and sparkle in the sunlight. The air is sweet, the temperature pleasant. I look beside me and see you lying there, a goddess in earthly form. Time with you seems to put a pause on life, and the only life I live in those moments is one enthralled by, and deeply in love with, you.

There I stood, a stoic pillar of marble. Cold, distant, surface smooth and unblemished. Out of nowhere you came - a clinging vine, creeping your way up my marble base. Slowly you ascended, inch by inch, wrapping your tendrils around me. The progress was so imperceptive I was caught unawares. I don’t think even you realised how you progressed. But you rose, steadily, covering my cold exterior, and before too long you had covered most of my surface. And yet you didn’t stop. You spread and entwined and constricted. Holding fast, we reached a point of no return, a point where we were now indistinguishable - it was impossible to tell where marble finished and vine began. What once was cold and smooth, now was textured and warm to the touch. You added color and grain and joy to my life, which only could have been accomplished by our pairing. My heart sings for the change you’ve brought in me, for the release of my inner marble, so beautifully on display. I am a column of confidence, a pier of pride, an obelisk of optimism. I stand tall and proud, wearing you as if you were a part of me, and never wanting to let go.

I stand on the shore and look out over my blessings. They pool, ever flowing, water lapping at the shoreline of doubt. Oh, if only I saw the vastness of hope around me, that great ocean of optimism, I know that I would not spend another day in despair. I strive, I endeavor, and one day, I know my eyes will be fully opened.

The waves crash over me as I sit in the water, the tide gaining ground with every heart beat. Salt air fills my lungs, my toes are dug deep in the sand, as I let the cold waters refresh my soul. A lone sea gull flies over, my only other companion for miles around. Oh, blessed solitude, ye old friend, recharge me now.

Losing myself in the sounds of the earth: the waves crashing on the shore, a steady pulse; the wind rustling through the trees, swishing and swashing; the silence found in the depths of the forest, walking on ground that hasn’t seen footsteps in decades. I let them wash over me, and my spirit is renewed.

I'm drowning in the silence, the wall I've built around my heart. A desire for solitude, but a longing for friendship, deep within. I sit on my throne, looking out over my vast lands, my royal courts empty. Devoid of company, I peek over the walls, gaze over the battlements - wishing for some amiable company. Oh, friend, won't you tear down the walls and keep me company, just for a little bit?

And just like that, I can’t remember a time you weren’t in my life. How I went all these years without your presence, the passionate feelings I have for you - is a mystery. A mystery of time, of the heart, and now I’m filled with a desire for you. A desire so strong, my very knees shake with wanting. My heart palpitates, I am short of breath. Oh how I long for you, my beauty - how I desire to be in the same room as your presence!

I wake, it’s half past midnight - a deep longing ebbs in my soul. I crave your voice, your sultry tones, your velvety syllables that caress my ear. Sweet siren, won’t you tell me you love me? Lady of my heart, won’t you tell me you desire me? I need to hear the longing in your voice, the very depth of your feelings. It takes every fibre in my being to not reach out, to leave you in your peaceful slumber. I will wait for you, oh precious one. I will hear you, soon.

Walking through the woods, I am mesmerised. The moss hugging the tree trunks, a yellow-green carpet on the ground; while clouds of fluff scuttling overhead, zooming on towards an unknown destination; the soft sigh of the wind, flowing lazily through the tree tops. A bird chirps, I catch a glimpse of the plumed tail of a fox disappearing into nearby bushes, shy and reserved. The sun filters through the leaves, dappling the ground with alternating shadow and light. I breathe in deep, my lungs filling with nature. Oh, how this makes my body glow, how it makes me feel alive and at peace.

The longing for you is never ending. Like the waves crashing on the shore, it comes in spells - intermittent, but with a continual, perpetual force.

Oh, beautiful one - how do I make you comprehend that as my love for you grows, my vision diminishes? You worry about competition, you compare yourself to others. In my mind, you are in an entire league of your own. One of a kind. One of ONE. You are at once, the most beautiful woman to exist, and the ONLY woman to exist, to me.