Serena Smythe

Sawyer: Georgia O'Keeffe /and/ Enya. Glad you're keeping track, Rena.

Sawyer: I like you. Why else? That never changed. Hell the only thing that did is that I don't date anymore.

Sawyer: You're bringing out your serious side tonight. I'd apologize, but I've already done that. Besides, I'm usually the one being brutally honest so this is a nice change.

Sawyer: Consider me a peacekeeper. It's certainly an upgrade from pumpkin head.

Serena: You're not hard to read. You never were.

Serena: Look at the progress. /Now/ you like me. We're ready to raise kids, I suppose.

Serena: And here I thought I was being pretty funny tonight. I've been called life of the party, you would not believe it.

Dani: I let go of us a long time ago. How can I still hold on to any of that when you keep treating me this way? I have some self worth, Serena. Even though I know there is good in you, I can’t keep sacrificing myself in hopes you’ll believe in that too.

Dani: Sure

Serena: I’m really not gonna keep discussing this.

Teddy: 🙄

Teddy: my bad. didn't mean to "accidentally" text you shit that you didn't care about...oh, wait.

Teddy: yeah sure let's blame april for how intolerant you are

Serena: Charming. Answered like a 15 year old would.

Serena: Know what? This arguement is pointless. What’s done is done.

Sawyer: Never happening again, huh? That's Serena speak for I'm having my butler fire up the limousine. Unless you've lowered your standards to an Uber black.

Sawyer: Besides, if that were a reliable excuse I could say I'm overcome by the power of art every damn day.

Sawyer: Nothing gets me going like Georgia O'Keeffe.

[...]

Sawyer: That aside, we both know you're not here for the art speak. So when you decide you're done with this act let me know. I could use some more of those scratches down my back. I'm collecting them like trophies now.

Serena: No Uber. But fucking an ex falls in the category of lowering standards and for that one I'm guilty.

Serena: And Enya gets you off.

[...]

Serena: Why are you doing this, pumpkin head?

[...]

Serena: I'm hating this already. This is how things started back in high school. And then your kissing record didn’t matter anymore, and you were trying to make me jealous at homecoming and

Dani: You hurt me a lot

Dani: Thank you for apologizing tho.

Serena: Maybe that was worth it. At least now you know I was right the whole time; there's no fairy tale for us.

[...]

Sawyer: Mm, well it sure didn't take a colossal amount of effort for you to blow off some steam post-botb. So really, you're welcome.

Sawyer: Is this how you talk to all of your girls? 'Cause I don't mind playing submissive if that's what you're going for.

Sawyer: Is it working? If it is you should come over for a repeat of Thursday night. Or, you know, even if it's not.

Serena: The jokes aren't cute.

Sam: I tried to branch out for you.

Sam: I think it's for my great impressions, and because I'm good company. And maybe you secretly like a little nice stuff.

Serena: Oh wow, we’re doing charm as well now. Can’t keep up!

Serena: I take pride in being your exception then.

You haven’t hurt anyone in a few days? That’s good. Maybe you should try forever.

Dani: It's not about it being bribery. While gift giving may indeed be your love language, it's not mine. Also, you try to fix too many problems that you have with people with money.

[ tons of days later ]

Serena: I apologize for blowing up yesterday.

[...]

Serena: It clearly wasn't a good night, but that's not an excuse.

[...]

Teddy: the one and only

Teddy: i could have sworn i blocked your number so guess the universe is working against us both. don't worry i couldn't really care less about your little candy crush.

Serena: Really bad karma. You'd think if I did something so bad to deserve this I'd remember. I've been so nice lately.

NO, SERENA, MY BRAIN– WHICH MIGHT BE FILLED WITH FORTUNE COOKIES BECAUSE THEY’RE DELICIOUS. 

:\ but I’m 5′2 :\ 

What if I do the cute thing where I smile??? And then you just…agree? 

I... actually can totally see that. No brain, just cookies filling in your head... that would explain a lot...

Hunter: Hello? Did you forget about me? I’ve been waiting for you to pick me up for an hour!

Serena: You know I only commit important things to memory

Serena: Sorry, I'm visiting mother and I guess she's having a bad day. She's been a bit clingy. It's freaking me out a little.

Sawyer: You know, I'm a big fan of this whole civil conversations thing.

Sawyer: Besides, it gives me more time to take in your beauty.

Sawyer: I'd like to think I've leveled up my kiss ass skills in the past ten years.

Serena: It takes a colossal amount of effort on my part whenever we do, but yeah, I'm trying. You're welcome.

Serena: Yeah, even I can admit that you're a bit more pleasant these days.

Blair: You never gave a shit about me.

[ two days later ]

Teddy: that’s really not my business whether y’all are or not, man but she must be desperate as fuck. But hey, you do you.

Serena: Wait, Teddy?