jb.

I was in this delusion. That he was going to change his mind and come back to me as long as I tried hard enough. I put in all this time and energy to show him how much I loved him. I would text him no matter what, and always be there. I gave him everything. Until it finally sank in. I was putting in so much effort into someone that wasn’t putting any effort into me. I was literally pouring all my love into someone that wasn’t giving me anything back. All he was giving was “maybe someday, again.” But I couldn’t live life off maybe anymore. I realized how unhappy I truly was. And I still had this awful, heavy sadness in my chest. It was so hard, but I finally let him go. Because having half of someone is equally painful as not having them at all.

i know my name still lingers in your mouth but it is not safe there not where the lies are kept

You wont see me the next time you decide to come home. Home is where the heart is, And clearly, yours isn’t with me.

If you find someone you love enough to ruin your entire life for; It’s always worth it.

If you asked if I regret you, I’d say yes. But I won’t deny that there’s apart of me that still misses you too.

Forget about him. Because if he was worth it all, he would have still been here. He would have still found a way to be here for you, fate would have found a way for him to be here for you, you would have found a way to make him be here for you. But he didn’t, fate did and no matter how much you tried, you didn’t. And that’s okay. It’s okay you couldn’t hold on to him, because in the end it would have just been you keeping the relationship from breaking & that kind of weigh is not one you wish to carry on your shoulders whilst battling friends, family and everything that goes wrong in this life. It’s okay he’s not here, because if you really needed him & if he really needed you, he’d still be here.”

I keep telling myself I don’t love you, it’s gotten to the point where I can lie and I almost believe it but then I see you and my heart starts pounding and all of a sudden I can’t remember why I don’t want to love you, stupid right? I think so because then I remember why I can’t love you. You’ll break my heart, you’ll make me feel loved, happy, and everything else but just when I start thinking you love me too, you’ll leave. You’ll leave and forget all about the late night calls, the good morning texts, & drunken kisses. You’ll leave me and then I’ll be left to pick up all the pieces. You’ll break me so until it’s true, I’ll keep lying.

maybe one day i wont blame myself for the end of us. maybe one day i’ll finally be over it
maybe that day will be the day you realize you’re not over it
but that day just isn’t today
because i’m still heartbroken over you and you’re still into her”

Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.