Schrödinger's Catboy

Translation: Parents aren’t making the conscious effort to help their children develop necessary skills and letting iPads raise them.

even if we ignore the fact that this isn't citing an actual study (or even citing the video citing the study), and all the longstanding problems with fMRI studies in general, and the comparison between children and dogs... what is the implicit call to action here? to shame parents into parenting better?

the solution to child neglect of any kind is to build better care structures beyond the family & enable youth autonomy. every single time. it is not enough to point fingers at parents when young people are structurally excluded from public life. we have to actually do the work.

taps the sign:

talk to your coworkers about this. remember that the "taking advice from everyone except the experts" thing cuts both ways. you can be the non-expert guy at work who isnt an expert and gives someone advice they decide to follow based on vibes, but your advice can be the right advice instead. this is something we can all do.

- people giving their life story to explain why they have a special secret valid trauma reason to be a reactionary tar pit

- white true crime women assuming I don’t know what it’s like to fear rape

- fascists calling me a euroslave

Not even always the sense of being openly mean to the kids, but in the sense of acting like they must behave rigidly a certain way at all times and that if anything is one minute off schedule or if kids have any unstructured time at all it is the End Of The Fucking World.

So many adults hustling kids from activity to activity, all snippy and harried as though every single thirty minute Scheduled Activity Block is an unmissable appointment and the whole building will blow up if someone is five minutes late to something.

We have these exhibits with animal bones and rocks and pressed flowers and stuff that are clearly placed at child height and the way parents will SNAP at their kids to DON'T TOUCH THAT DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING amazes me.

There is so little tolerance for kids acting silly or just being playful or anything, the adults will act so annoyed and stern and harsh for the littlest things.

- it takes itself completely seriously. i want ZERO irony/making fun of itself. i need some actor man to take a potato chip and eat it with total seriousness.

- light and L have an insane amount of tension, i’m talking destiel levels of eye sex and queerbaiting, but they are never allowed to kiss. maybe when L dies they get one ambiguously queer line. but it’s gotta stay at least a little bit ambiguous

- misa isn’t explicitly homophobic anymore but she is like That #ally (just more subtly homophobic) (obviously shes gay but she doesn’t know that yet). instead of “are you on THAT side of the fence ryuzaki” she’s like “it’s FINE if you’re gay but light is MY boyfriends and i just don’t think it’s APPROPRIATE” and L just ignores her completely. she claims L as her Gay Best Friend despite him never confirming if he’s queer and her not really liking him. for Diversity

- she’s like i can’t be homophobic i do a pride month photoshoot and L is like okay. i don’t care

- focus on how the 24 hour news cycle, overwhelming access to information, and constant fearmongering and doomscrolling drives light fucking crazy (sorry i have to be weird about light here)

- instead of a magazine light very blandly watches porn on his laptop. looking actively bored. L doesn’t say explicitly “your son is gay” but he looks over at soichiro and says something like “hm. he’s popular with girls, you said? okay.”

- some awful misa and light sex scene but it cuts between that and light at L’s grave, their months handcuffed together, etc. hannibal style or something idk i’ve never seen it i just got a play by play from a friend

- naomi gets a bigger part because she’s awesome

- light and L are stuck in ambiguously queer purgatory but rem is very explicitly in love with misa. they kiss once before she dies and from then on misa seems a little more subdued with light. like she’s not so sure she really wants him

So by now most of you have probably heard that my account was suddenly terminated (aka banned) on Saturday afternoon. I’m back now, and since I had to do some digging into this on my own, I figured I’d make a post for others to reference. 

How to tell if you’ve been wrongfully terminated

You will find yourself suddenly locked out of your account. For me, I had just made a post when I got kicked to the login screen. My password wouldn’t work, so I tried to reset it, at which point I got this screen:

Now, if Tumblr legitimately terminated your account - meaning, you broke a rule and they banned you for it - they should send you an email telling you why. So, immediately check your email. If you don’t get anything, it was probably a glitch. These happen shockingly often, so there’s a whole process to it. 

How to get your account back

First, submit a support ticket. Tumblr’s support email does NOT work, you MUST go through their site. Select ‘Terminated account’. Write a POLITE message explaining the situation. Describe what you were doing when you suddenly got kicked off, and state that to the best of your knowledge, you haven’t broken any rules, or that if you did, you would be willing to delete the offending posts. Include your url and email.

Check your email. You should immediately get an automatic message saying they’re looking into the problem. If you don’t that means that Tumblr marked your email as spam (because they banned you). If you need to, resend the ticket using a different email address at the bottom. Explain that your account email doesn’t seem to be going through and that’s why you’re using a different one. 

Wait. Tumblr Support’s hours of operation are 9-5 EST, Monday through Friday. If, like me, you submitted your ticket on a weekend, you may be in for a wait. If you don’t get a response within 24 hours, DO NOT SEND ANOTHER TICKET, but instead reply to the email they sent you. I’ve seen it advised that you should send another ticket only if the problem isn’t fixed within the week. 

Check you url often. Tumblr will likely never respond to your email letting you know what happened or that you’ve been reinstated. Check your url every so often, and if it finally loads as your blog (instead of the ‘There’s nothing here’ screen) you are free to log back in. 

Okay, so, in the years since writing this guide, I’ve both seen some discussion as well as made my own observations that lead me to believe this is not just a glitch with Tumblr’s code.

More likely, if you’re reading this because you got termed, your blog was caught up in a bot dragnet.

Tumblr, like all social media, has bots. And Tumblr also does regular bot purges. It’s strikingly clear to me when these purges happen, because this post will gain a ton of notes in the span of a day. Occasionally, but not always, this will happen shortly after I notice an influx of bot followers.

That means that, for most people experiencing this problem, you are doing something that triggers Tumblr’s automated bot removal process. I cannot say what it is. Social media tends to keep their bot removal criteria vague, so that people scripting bots can’t evade capture.

Which sucks for the innocent human bloggers caught up in the purges, but it also means that if you can get someone to double check your blog, you should be reinstated pretty swiftly.

Because under the post about giving minors the right to medically consent, people are spreading a ton of misinformation on this - largely because they just do not question the stuff they just assume are "normal". Which here is: "kids are all afraid of needles and therefore if we let them consent or not to medical proceedures, they would just not consent and not get vaccinations, because needles hurt".

And, look. Here is the thing: no, needles do not actually hurt a whole lot. And while, yes, certain procedures that involve being stabbed by a needle hurt more if you are younger for a bunch of reasons... that is actually not the main reason children fear needles. Because, again: the pain is not that bad. And most kids, especially young kids, whose motor skills are still developing, usually will have a bunch more hurting scratches, bruises and the like at any given moment than there will be pain from the needle.

No, from what research can tell, the main reason kids are afraid of needles, is more that for many of them needle procedures are very traumatizing. And that is largely because of the consent issue.

Imagine you are a person who is still pretty darn new to that whole human thing. So for one, yes, your brain is actually not that great in understanding what pain is dangerous and what pain is a safe limit of pain. So yes, someone intentionally hurting you (like with a needle) is really kinda scary. But then there is also the thing where this person hurting you is not telling you why they are doing. The people who you normally trust with keeping you safe (your family) is betraying you, by just holding you down and scolding you for crying over it. Or maybe it is not your family, but some strange nurse who is holding you. And while you are scared, because someone is intentionally hurting you, while someone else is restricting you, the adults around you are telling you, that your emotional reaction to this is actually bad and you are wrong for reacting that way. They might in fact lie to you and tell you that something that is insanely scary to you is "not that bad", instead of just understanding that it is super scary to you. And that is then what you start to expect whenever you see a doctor prepare a needle: people holding you down, hurting you without reason, and telling you that you are wrong for being upset, actively gaslighting you.

We have research on this. And this research is pretty clear: most kids are actually somewhat okay with needles, if you inform them why you are doing it, allow for them to have their emotions, talk to them about their emotions, and allow for them to set at least some conditions.

And frankly, I hate how many people just accept the framing of "kids are naturally afraid of this because it hurts". Like, folks, I know y'all are fucking Americans and that in your culture it is kinda normalized to like put kids into like some sort of fortified hamsterball to stop them from like doing typical kids stuff. But... let me tell you: if you do not do that, kids will actually very regularly engage in dangerous play that they know will often end up in injuries that are going to hurt. And, no, they are not to dumb to understand that. The kids know that this is what might happen because of their play. They actually just take the risk. Yes, they will cry if they get hurt, because - again - their nervous system is still calibrating how it relates to pain. But they will likely do that thing again and again. I can tell you: I fell down a tree so often during my childhood, and I still climbed it. Again and again. So did most kids I knew. Like, fuck, we lived next to a forest. We played "Tarzan", and tried to go along paths without touching the ground. And we fell. A lot. And we still did it.