judasㅤkissㅤ﹐ㅤ✧

     ...    beauty  is  terror.   whatever  we  call  beautiful,    we  quiver  before  it. 

        𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐄    [ * ]    𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒  of   𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐖.      psychological, supernatural, and  gothic  horror  themes.   by  carmen.  she  /  her.  24.  black.   read  rules  before  interacting.

the  manor  and  all  its  inhabitants  unwind  in  the  deepest  of  slumbers   —   save  for  the  little  gentleman  and  his  winning  playmate;   two  figures  dressed  in   the  hue  of  night  stride  through  the  depraved  corridors  of  bly.   

❛     there’s  something  wrong  with  this  place  ,    ❜    laura’s voice pierces through the dark,  voice  carrying  several  feet  from  behind.  her  pace  having  fallen  out  of  harmony  with  his own,  miles  comes  to  a  pause.   is  there  a  dulcet  uncertainty  that  he  detects  in  her  cadence  ?    could  she  detect   the  slight  pickle  of  centuries  of  undying  decadence    ?      ❛      scared  ,  laura  ...   ?  ⠀ ❜     the  boy  croons  into  nothingness.     his  round,  cherubic  features  are  kindled  as  intrigue  manifests  upon  them,  wherein  a  playful  twist  of  the  mouth  ensues:    teeth  bared   —   this  smile  seems  one  of  a  virile  nature    [  belonging  to  a  stranger  rather  than  that  of  a  boy  ].  

    ❛     afraid  something  might  come  out  and  bite  you  ...   ?  ⠀ ❜     miles  taunts  further.       ❛      don’t  be  silly.  ⠀ ❜ 

     *     ❛     miles    …     ❜       first  thing’s  first     ,     there’s  nothing  quite  like  the  smell  of  hot  animal  carcass.     truly.     i  don’t  think  my  stomach  ever  forgave  me  after  this  day;     it  hasn’t  felt  right  since     ,     like  it  can  barely  even  hold  water. 

  second     -    miles  fairchild  is  a  total  freak.     and  that’s  coming  from  me.     he  doesn’t  even  notice  all  the  flies  swarming  the  thing.      usually   ,   he’s  so  polished     ,     putting  up  some  kind  of  perfectionist - bullshit  front.     but  now   ?   he  almost  seems  childish     ,     petting  it  like  it’s  some  kind  of  long - lost  pet  instead  just  of  some  dead  thing  in  the  grass.     goosebumps  rush  up  the  back  of  my  neck.     i take  as  big  of  a  step  backwards  as  my  legs  allow  and  hug  my arms  to  myself.       ❛     what  in  the  ever - loving  fuck.       ❜   

❛      shh.  ⠀ ❜     does  he  hush  sydney  or  the  dead  thing   ?     ❛      you’ll  scare  it.  ⠀ ❜    quietude  lays  hold  of  the  girl.   her  alarm  settles  and,  at  length,   a  moment  of  silence  arrives.  he  overlooks  the  sour  aroma  of  death  and  continues  to  brush  his  hand  ‘gainst  the  cat  as  though  she  might  catch  a  taste  of  his  affection  in  the  afterlife.    

both  the   children   had   a   gentleness     (     it   was   their   only   fault,     and   it   never   made   miles   a   muff     )    that   kept   them     —    how   shall   i   express   it     ?    —       almost   impersonal   and   certainly   quite   unpunishable.     they   were   like   the   cherubs   of   the   anecdote,    who   had     —     morally,     at   any   rate     —     nothing   to   whack     !

❛   it  never  made  miles  a  muff,   ❜   is   an   interesting   phrase   as   she   [  the   governess  ]    is   talking   about   both   children,   but   singles   out   miles.   ‘  muff  ’   being   a   dated   british   term   meaning     ❛   to   be  a   mistake   or   a   failure;    a   person   who   is   awkward   or   stupid,   ❜     which   likely   means   that   she   believes   that   miles’   seemingly  gentle   nature   does   not   get   in   the   way   of   his   masculinity.   which,     by   our   standards,    is   an   odd   thing   to   consider   in   a   10 year - old - boy,   and   foreshadows   a   discomforting   preoccupation   that   she   is   to   have   with   miles   later   on   in  the   book.

she   describes   the   two   children   as   being   so   gentle   that   they   seem   ‘impersonal’   and   ‘unpunishable’.     which,     again,     is   odd     ---     as   most   children   are   in   a   perpetual   state   of   being   themselves,     as   they   know   nothing   else.     as   mentioned   before,     i   believe   that   the   children   were   simply   on   their   best   behavior,     wanting   to   make   the   perfect   impression   with   the   governess.     not   to   mention,     the   formality   of   the   environment;     it   isn’t   unsurprising   that   miles   and   flora   would   like   to   find   their   footing   with   the   governess     [   especially   when   one   considers   the   figures   they’ve   been   met   with   in   the   past   ],     it   is   not   surprising   that   they   might   be   wary   of   her   in   the   beginning.

i   remember   feeling   with   miles   in   especial   as   if   he   had   had,   as   it   were,    no   history.     we   expect   of   a   small   child   a   scant   one,    but   there   was   in   this   beautiful   little   boy   something   extraordinarily   sensitive,    yet   extraordinarily   happy,     that,     more   than   in   any   creature   of   his   age   i   have   seen,     struck   me   as   beginning   anew   each   day.    he   had   never   for   a   second   suffered.    i   took   this   as   a   direct   disproof   of   his   having   really   been   chastised.     if   he   had   been   wicked   he   would   have   “caught”   it,     and   i   should   have   caught   it   by   the   rebound     —     i   should   have   found   the   trace.    i   found   nothing   at   all,     and   he   was   therefore   an   angel.

again,     there’s   this   special   attention   being   paid   to   miles.     one   could   argue   that   since   flora   is   introduced   earlier   on   in   the   book   before   miles,     that   the   governess   is   simply   paying   him   the   same   attention.     however,     she   never   quite   speaks   of    flora   again   in   the   same   way   as   she   does   miles   as   this   continues   for   the   duration   of   the   story.

next,     that   she   describes   miles   as   having   ‘ no history ’,     which   couldn’t   be   further   from   the   truth.     what   i’ve   taken   away   from   this   is   that   the   governess   spent   so   much   time   idealizing   the   children     [   and   later   demonizing   them  ],      that   she   never   truly   gets   to   know   them,     which   makes   it   that   much   easier   to   turn   on   them   when   the   time   comes.     secondly,     both   miles   and   his   sister   flora   have   suffered   a   great   deal:       as   we   know   that   both   miles   and   flora   have   a   past;     we   know   that   both   their   parents   have   died,      that   they   have   an   uncle   for   a   guardian   who   wants   nothing   to   do   with   them,     and   that   two   other   ‘parental figures’   in   their   lives   had   also   past   away   shortly   before   her   arrival   to   bly   manor.     all   we   come   to   know   about   them   is   actually   quite   sad,     and   for   the   governess   to   overlook   this   is   worrisome.

❛   but   there   was   this   beautiful   little   boy   something   extraordinarily   sensitive,     yet   extraordinarily   happy ...   ❜    again,      the   governess   is   idealizing   miles,     and   makes   note   of   this  ‘  sensitivity ’      [  indicative   of   his   trauma  ]     and   sees   it   as   something   to   praise,     rather   than be   concerned   about   because   she   has   never   seen   it   in   any   other   boy   his   age.     it   is   later   implied   that   miles     [   like   many   others  ]     has   ‘suffered’   further,     at   the   hand   of   their   now   dead   groundskeeper,     quint.  

you  ,  you  ,  you   ! ⠀ the  boy  with  a  thousand  eyes  ,     have  i  met  my  maker  in  you  yet,   my  sweet  miles.    everywhere  and  nowhere,  present  and  impalpable  all  the  same.    i   know    —     have  always  known    —     you  for  what  you  are.      i  spent  the  better  half  of  the  morning  pacing,  pondering  over  this  scruple,   shivering  at  the  notion  of  confrontation.     let  it  alone  ,    my  hoary  companion  had  told  me  from  our  clandestine  congregation,  but  my  want  gets  the  better  of  me:     ❛     miles. ⠀ ❜       you  sit  all  day  in  your  own  brood,   holed  up  in  that  disarray  you  call  a  bedroom,   and  all  but  make  as  if  not  to  notice  my  arrival.     ❛     flora  says  you  gave  her  a  fright  last  night.  ⠀❜   

✦      *     @quandare​​        ›         MILES.