So Canon it Hurts

"TOUCH HIM AND DIE MOTHERFUCKER"

"HOW TO NINJA: EVERYTHING MADARA DOES IS WRONG AND HE IS HEREBY WRITTEN OUT OF NARUTO SHIPPUDEN"

"kakashi is god okay"

"uh blind. but that works"

"If an Itachi falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

"maybe if she gave you 84892893813 papercuts and then i dont know dropped you in a pool of lemon juice it would seem less pointless"

"OMG"

"yes he would be very amused hmmhmhmm. by his small penis"

"their faces are so close no suggestive thoughts"

"why sasuke why do you have to be like this accept naruto's love"

"my pants would be shat"

"forever pwn'd by his brother"

it's the pedophile"

"I think the yugioh characters run better than them"

"i'll handle that for you. boom, table flipped."

"imma get more oj and when i return we'll start the next episo- DONT BRING THAT UP GAWD"

"no. naruto is moar important"