pyxis felixhaven

Bringing the hand - supposedly his hand? - up close, Raubahn tries to focus on the white scales but finds himself having to squint, causing pressure to build in the already rapidly growing headache. Everything seemed to be in focus enough, but some of the finer details blurred together. Still, even with a cursory glance, he knew this hand all too well.

It was Pyxis'.

So why did their fingers move with each command his body sent out to them?

Closing his eyes, Raubahn takes a long, deep, metered breath. He must still be dreaming. That had to be the answer to all of the questions. Maybe when they had returned after their visit to pick up dinner they had both grown weary, gone to lie down for a spell together, and he had just dreamt everything else after that. A dream within a dream, and for some reason, he was… in her body. The way the light spread out as if a star in the night sky made more sense to him as he spots Pyxis' glasses on the side table; was this really how everything looked to them without-

"Raubahn..?" His voice calls out. Softer, quieter, gentler than he's ever heard it before. And from the other side of the room.

Bolting upright, his gaze falls upon his own visage - yet it wasn't in a passing reflection. Watching himself take a step forwards, the absurdity of the situation buries itself far into the back of his mind as he catches the pained expression on his face. Pyxis was in there. Experiencing everything he had gotten used to, even if it had only been a few short years. Battling pains he'd had to grow used to. The way they grab at the cloak hiding what is no longer there, he knows that pose all too well. There were days he could still feel the missing arm, and gods it ached. Admittedly, earlier that afternoon it had started playing up again, but nothing that a distracting, long patrol couldn't help with.

Pyxis currently didn't have that luxury.

Somewhere deep down, they knew that it still had to hurt. They'd heard about others with missing limbs having the sensation that they were still there, but it caused them nothing but misery. Raubahn had never expressed anything along those lines before, and they'd just assumed that perhaps he didn't experience those phantom pains. Perhaps when the chirurgeons were able to help aid with the healing process, they'd found a a way to stop the false pains from occurring. Yet, as if they were in their own body, Pyxis could still try and form a fist in his missing left hand, and it burned and stabbed and ached with each attempt.

Clutching at the healed bicep above his signature cloak, they took a cautionary step towards him. Towards themselves. It wasn't the first time they had seen their body under the control of someone else, to lose control of the place that connected them to the elementals and the star as a whole, yet to know that it was Raubahn who was in there… somehow this time it was worse. He'd be able to feel every strand of hair that brushed over their horns, the light weight of the glasses resting just atop of them sending shivers down their spine; as sensitive as they were, these were things that they'd grown used to after decades of desensitisation.

Worse than that, he'd know that the light had left more scars than they'd ever spoken of. Whilst there were no raised or healed over marks on their skin, scorch marks embedded in their aether often flared up enough to be un-ignorable. Whilst they had said that a headache was the reason they had to lie down after taking care of some after dinner chores, now he'd know the real reason. How he could still manage to lean forward and stare at his own body with such concern, without flinching or demanding to know why that pain was there, was enough to know that he lived with just as much hidden agony as they did.

The dull throbbing in their arm as they stepped forwards once more, already having reached the foot of the bed with ease, was the final confirmation they needed.

"Pyxis, look at me." Raubahn's words are low, but lack the gravel that he's used to. Hearing Pyxis' voice reverberating in their chest, in their head, in their horns - seven hells how did they wear their glasses and hair down every day when even their voice made him want to rip the curved horns from the side of his head? - was somehow still a comfort. He may have been an unwelcome visitor in their body, he would never have said the same for them in his. If he had been taken somewhere else, swapped with anyone else, and was unable to comfort them right now… At least he could still protect the Au Ra from closer than he ever could have imagined.

"I never knew—" Pyxis starts, eyebrows raising slightly at the tone that they're able to produce, but soon furrow back down as the gaze shifts to the limp arm resting across their body. Their - his - left arm. "Raubahn, I'm sorry, I never knew…" Words die in their throat, and their gaze can no longer move from the still hand. They both know he could move it. It's still there, and not a falsity his body is trying to trick him into moving. He could probably feel the ridges of the scales that curve around their legs, but some part of him choosing to ignore it - to blank out anything that could be perceived as false, a feeling he was making up.

"Why are you apologising, my moon?" Despite himself, Raubahn finds himself hearing the soft laugh he'd fall in love with every day trailing his words. Watching as his own body gets closer, kneeling down so they were face to face to face, a sensation he'd not felt for years mixes with one he'd never experienced before - and one once they'd figured out how to return to their rightful bodies he'd never experience again. The rough calluses on his fingers wrap around their left hand, causing the long tail he'd not had time to come to terms with curl and flicker in surprise. To be wrapped up in a gentle, caring warmth, despite the harsh edges that he had built up after years of fighting, it felt strange. The fact that the strength of their grip was the only thing that concerned him was another surprise. Not only could he feel the - usually his own - rough skin pressing against the mix of raised scales and much softer skin, the fingers that would usually cause him anguish to move twitched with ease.

"Does it hurt?" Pyxis asks, his question left unanswered. There were so many things they wanted to apologise for, even if none of them were needed, and they had all moved to the back of their mind. Was their hand always this small in the midst of his? If they weren't careful, then-

"Pyxis, look at me," Raubahn repeats, reaching out to press the palm of his free hand against the rough scars on their cheek. It was his turn to dodge answers to questions he knew they didn't really want to know the answer to. Despite the other's silence, their gazes finally meet.

so i was going to be prepared for this week but then the world fell over for a little bit so i locked in this weekend and got all the poses done because how could i not pose my two ocxcanon ships 😤