from her own ashes

blogroll (activity varies): @journclist /  @cafegraces​

it's inevitable that there will be ops he's sent on that she's not, especially with her abilities; the asteri sometimes don't want to risk the possibility of losing their healer on retainer. but when he comes back like this, it always drives a spike of fear through her. without room for argument, she gestures for him to sit down and reaches out with her magic to survey the work laid out for her. once she has a catalogue of the visible and internal injuries, she sets to work on the ribs, which would otherwise be the slowest to heal on their own. frowning, she mutters to him, " at what cost? you're no good to anyone dead, luca. " the admonishment comes from a place of concern more than anything. after almost a century of working together, she considers him part of her family. " you should be more careful when i'm not out there with you. "

a rare smile plays at her lips at that, eyes tracing the color rising in her cheeks with satisfaction; hand reaching up unbidden to follow that trail with her fingers in the next breath. tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, she leans in, words hushed just for the other woman. " well that's good, honey, because i want to. " while she's not typically one for pet names, there's something about it that just rolls of the tongue with silver. perhaps it's just worth seeing that flush, but there's a tightness coiling around her heart that belies the truth that it's deeper than that.

" you are the most fucking insane, " she hisses through clenched teeth, " difficult, asinine prick--- " the rest of her mutterings are lost to the careful shuffling required to maneuver so she can at least crane her neck to face him. now that it's just her profile pressed against him in the cramped space, she can think a little straighter without his breath tickling her neck. " i'd have thought you'd be a little more attached to certain appendages, but by all means, keep pressing your luck. " there's no disguising her hand shifting to settle over the holster on her thigh when it's trapped between them.

don't mind me just thinking about how arguments are one of clarke's love languages

her eyes sweep their surroundings before landing back on him with a wry tilt to her lips. " well, there go all my plans. trusting people is what i'm really known for. " the dry words have a hint of amusement behind them. with the barest brush of her shoulder against his as she turns back to the wonkru members milling about, she sighs. despite her best efforts, her gaze is drawn back to her old friend's, some stone seemingly lodged in her throat. " i do, though... trust you, lou. " it feels important that he know that, but it doesn't rid her of the pit steadily forming in her stomach; with trust comes the unique privilege to betray.

how had it all come to this?   a frustrated breath escapes her,   a hand reaching up to scrub over her face before pulling back through her hair.   “   the list isn’t the plan,   punz,   restoring the ark is.   no one was ever meant to even see it.   ”   not unless everything else fell through,   at least.   and now she’s cursing the fact that bellamy put her name in that final spot,   it’s only made the entire thing look even worse.   

sometimes i wake up and clarke has just suddenly returned to consuming my entire brain