Pyro's Pages

Lately I’ve heard a lot of people say “I don’t owe anyone anything” and I think that claim isn’t as nuanced as it should be.  It’s important to set clear boundaries, especially in an online world where anyone can interact with everyone. But I think “I don’t owe anyone anything”  is the wrong way of going about it.

I think people owe each other basic respect. 

That does not mean you should let people walk all over you. You owe them respect and they owe you respect too. If they don’t respect you as a person, by all means set your boundaries. Even mirror that as a last resort. But if you can help it, just walk away. People should respect you as a person. You’re a human with your own story, view on life and life experience. That should be respected and you should respect that in others.

Try to be kind to each other. You are worth being kind to and you can be kind to others.

I’ve always wanted to be a content creator. But one of the things, if not one of the most prevalent thing I've been struggling with, is the thought that “If I post something cringe or socially unpopular today, it will haunt me for the rest of my professional career.”

We all know the internet can be an unkind place and people sometimes feel the need to criticise your work on a personal or irrelevant basis. As a “The Digital Circus” fan, I’ve seen my fair share of hate and controversies surrounding the VA’s and creators. No matter what these people do, it will never be enough for some fans or critics of the show. 

Now, do not put words in my mouth. I am not trying to say that using slurs or being generally hateful should be tolerated. There’s a line. If you’re calling for the harm of others or are being downright intentionally disrespectful, that deserves criticism. But I don't think not being perfect is a crime. People grow and learn.

The internet is training us to be our own paparazzi. And it’s time to be our authentic selves again. Try to be kind and respectful, but let your inner colours shine. Learn from your mistakes but don’t let them stop you on your path of becoming a creator.

A framework of dealing with personal attacks or attacks on your character

It’s all about responding, not reacting. When we feel personally attacked, emotions will arise. That is normal, because we are human. 

1 Hit the pause button.  When someone personally insulted you, or is trying to discredit you on a personal basis. There’s a tiny window between this trigger and your response. Try to understand and identify that trigger.

2 observe without absorbing mentally label what they are doing. (They are basing my character on stereotypes, They are discrediting me on a personal basis)

3 refocus your brain Try to count to ten. Or name the capitals, or list what you see aroun you, what you feel, what you smell. This will try to bring your head back into the thinking part of your brain. 

5 Depersonalise your language “Some people might find it weird when someone expresses themselves openly.” or “Some people might have difficulties with others doing things they find strange” acknowledge their statement but depersonalise it and detach it from yourself 

4 set a boundary “I’m not going to engage with you if you shout” or “I want to go back to the original argument, I’m not going to talk about my personal life” Is a very good statement. Remove yourself from the emotional conversation and set a boundary

5 walk away or block if you must Keep your space and personal peace. You don’t need to defend your existence to people who aren’t willing to listen