a kaedehara kazuha x reader smau
CHAPTER 8 - IS THIS FILLER? 🏷️ (semi-proofread)
While scrolling through social media, many people talked about your “relationship”. Some had mixed opinions about it, and some were envious that you were experiencing their dream. In all honesty, this was your dream to date the guy you’ve had a crush on for so long, but this wasn’t an actual relationship. “It’s just to save face..” you murmured. Your body turned in bed to where your back was facing the wall. Today has already taken away your energy, so the most you can do is be in bed on your phone for the time being until the big day tomorrow afternoon when you get to see your friends as a group after several months. You all do see each other, but as time passes, it feels like an event to you now. But now you weren’t even aware you needed a break from everything until now.
Your mind immediately drifts to Kazuha, and it makes you turn off your phone, throwing your hands to your face as you roll around in bed. You had completely forgotten that you held hands with Kazuha this morning, but you didn’t understand why you’re so flustered now when you two used to do it as children. Was it because of your now-aware feelings? Or was it because you two did it in front of everyone? The whole campus? That was an exaggeration, but you weren’t a professional at this, so how could Kazuha keep a calm demeanor while you were on the verge of exploding from the inside? The warmth of his soft, shallow callused hand taking yours, his random thumb brushing against the back of your hand and oh- it felt like winning the lottery. Your hands made their way to fidget with the keychain hanging from your phone while being so lost in thought. Truth be told, you’re not ready for the school event to happen. The final day of the event will also be the end of what you and Kazuha had, and every time you remember it, your heart aches.
You can’t run from reality.
Additionally, you needed answers about his disappearance years ago. You keep tackling the topic, but nothing has progressed. It made you upset and bothered, wondering if you’d ever get to that topic with him. You’re positive he’s aware he has some things to say about it but couldn’t because he’s so busy. This indescribable bubbly feeling in your chest had been there for several years, and it had become a part of you. There was a time you asked your aunt where he was, and she could only give you a sad look and then changed the topic immediately. She didn’t want to see you upset over him, so she had done various ways to help you feel better, but looking at it now..she didn’t look sad for you, she looked guilty of something that you weren’t aware of. But it was too late to start connecting the dots, maybe you were just overthinking it due to the amount of stress this week was for you. After your nightly overthinking, your eyes feel heavy, and you slowly drift to sleep.
You were standing by the gate, scrolling through your phone, reading daily news in your city. Some were positive news, and some were unfortunate. There was a headline that caught your eye: a strange ancient artifact was found outside of your city and is now being put into the museum you were going to later on; maybe you’ll get to see it in person. The image was described as a broken lyre that was used by some god of winds. It’s now very fragile so it’s going to be put in a display case just for safety reasons. It looked so beautiful, so you’re hoping you get to see it. You were so lost in your phone that you did not notice a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around your waist, pulling you in close for a hug. Immediately, you turn your head to fight who the person is, but only to see it was just Kazuha. Your heart skipped several beats; you thought you were dead. His head was resting on the left side of your shoulder, his hair tickling your neck and ear.
“...Good morning, Kazuha? Are you feeling alright?” Your body relaxed under his unusual hug this morning, and he replied with a tired sigh.
“G’morning…overslept..almost late..” He murmured, nuzzling his face into your shoulder. “Don’t want to go to counsel meeting..” He held you tighter. A few students walking by took a glance at you two and giggled at the interaction before heading to their designated places. You pat Kazuha on the arm, reassuring the poor guy. “It’s okay.. it’ll go by swiftly, yeah? Just hang in there.” You smiled, Kazuha slowly pulling away before standing by you. He took your hand, and you two did your usual routine.
Was the hug part of the routine, too?
While you two walked side by side, you noticed he looked slightly of a mess. You stopped walking and let go of Kazuha’s hand. He shot you a concerned look before you immediately began fixing his bed hair and readjusting his glasses. You weren’t sure why you felt the urge to do this, but he did look like a mess.
You paused what you were doing as you replied. “Do you what?” You say, holding his glasses in place.
“Do I look like a mess?” He frowned (playfully).
“Yes, you do..I don’t think the student council wants to see their president like this, no?” You took a step to make sure you fixed everything. And after making confirmation, you took his hand in yours. “Thank you..I didn’t have time to make sure I looked okay.” Kazuha uses his free hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind his ear.
“So you’re aware today was going to be a busy day? What, got so anxious to fall asleep last night?” You teased, swinging your hands. You hear Kazuha choke up, but immediately deny it; it makes you suspicious about his sudden reaction, but you decide to spare him.
What was in the air today to make you two behave like this?
Your classes had ended early, and so you were waiting outside of the school gates, texting your friends to all meet up here. Tighnari and Kaveh will be arriving together, while Chiori and Kirara will be arriving around 5-10 minutes later since Kirara had to finish up some extra deliveries, and one of them was at Chiori’s job. So they should be arriving pretty soon.
“Y/NNN!” You hear Kaveh call out to you from a distance, you look up from your phone and you see Kaveh running and waving at you while Tighnari is walking behind him with a “please-keep-it-down” face. You forgot that poor Tighnari’s ears were sensitive to loud sounds. You waved back at your two friends before they finally caught up to you.
Kaveh looked at you like a mother would; he checked you out head to toe, side by side, and everything. “Are you well? Have you slept? Are you eating well enough? How’s that relationship with that guy?” He was just rambling on while Tighnari sighed, rubbing his temples. “Give them a break, Kaveh. Plus, you’re one to talk. You’re naming everything you’re going through.” He says, putting a hand on Kaveh’s shoulder and pulling him away, ignoring Kaveh's protests. “It’s nice to see you again, Y/N. We missed you a lot. I hope you’re doing okay.” He spoke softly, you smiled at the two. They haven’t physically changed excluding the eyebags. You can tell they’ve been working hard all this time.
“That reminds me, how is Collei? Is she doing well in school?”
“Collei’s well; I’ve been getting positive reports from her teachers from time to time. Collei has also been making lots of friends, even though she claims she feels like she’s not doing enough-”
“Even though I kept telling her she’s doing amazing, she still doubts herself!” Kaveh butts in, jump-scaring Tighnari. “Listen, before Collei started a new year of high school, I had to give her so many tips and tricks on how to survive that hell hole of a school and-” Tighnari covered Kaveh’s face with his palm and shoved him away. “And how to perform well and have at least some social interaction.” His tone shifted to irritation while Kaveh huffed, pulling away Tighnari’s hand from his face. You laughed at their banter, and then your ears picked up at Kirara’s voice from behind. “You all are here!” Kirara squealed, running towards you and launching a bear hug while you were still trying to process what was happening. First, you were alone, and now your entire friend group suddenly showed up. You feel your eyes soften at the sight of your friends.
Indeed, you love them a lot, you do.
“Ahem.” Chiori clears her throat, drawing your and everyone’s attention. “We can talk while we head over to our destination. We should go. I don’t want to be late.”
Kaveh fished for the keys that were in his pocket, holding them up in the air. “Don’t worry, I can drive us there! I got myself a driver's license!”
“You can afford a car? I thought money was tight?” Tighnari asks.
“..I’m borrowing a friend’s car! Now come on, let’s go.” Kaveh huffed before marching towards “his” parked car that was right across the street. While you were looking forward to this trip, you felt some sort of uneasiness bubbling in your stomach. You’re not sure if you ate something bad or are just hungry, but you shrugged it off.
By the time you all arrived, there were a lot of people around the entrance or hanging out inside the lobby. The museum, the exterior looked so beautiful. It wasn’t one of those basic museum buildings, and this one looked a bit more futuristic, representing today's time.
“Since there’s a lot of people, we should stay together. If one of us gets lost, we can text or call each other.” Chiori shot side glances at Kirara, who was sweating bullets.
Kirara laughed nervously, “W-why are you looking at me? I never get lost!” Her two tails started moving in circular motions, which implied that she was lying.
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that.”
After you all make sure you have your belongings, you all go inside. Kirara went to the receptionist to get you all the tickets, so you had to wait for some time, but it wasn’t too long, roughly about 15 minutes. From outside the lobby you can already see through the window that there were some things you were interested in. With so many crowded people today, there were some things you couldn’t see at all, which annoyed you. While your eyes scanned the outside area, your eyes caught a glimpse of someone with white hair and a red streak. You froze for a moment. Kazuha never told you he had somewhere to be, especially here. You continued to stare at the person who was far from where you were standing, but eventually, he turned around to face someone who was standing next to him. You felt your stomach churn, along with your heart racing a little fast. You’ve always hated that part, feeling sick when you see something or hear something you don’t want to see, but the universe has its ways of making you witness it.
“YN? Helloo earth to YN!” one of your friends called out to you, causing you to immediately turn to face them. “We’re ready to go. Are you feeling okay?” Kirara asks, looking worried.
“Oh, sorry..I was zoning out.” You looked out the window again, Kazuha and that person was no longer there. Maybe your mind was playing tricks on you due to not properly resting. You tuck your worries; now wasn’t the time to think about that stuff. You joined your friends to head inside and maybe find that person you saw to ease your mind.
Kaveh and Kirara were at the front while you were behind Tighnari and Chiori. Your pace of walking was slower compared to the rest of your friends, your mind decided to play tricks on you and think of worst-case scenarios, and you knew it was bad, you knew it was wrong to do so. But you were so bothered by what you saw. You already had questions for Kazuha and now a new situation was added to the roster. It’s been a bad habit of yours, and your Aunt would be there to comfort you when you feel anxious, but she’s not here right now, so there weren’t any methods to help calm you down with all of these thoughts being loud and blocking the sounds around you-
You blinked and saw Tighnari standing in front of you; you peeked to the side and saw your three other friends walking ahead. You glance back at Tighnari to ask, only for him to shake his head. “They already knew you looked bothered, so I wanted to personally ask what’s been bothering you.”
You felt yourself sinking from where you were standing, you were about to make your friends carry your burden, again. You cover half of your face in your scarf to avoid smiling out of nervousness. “It’s okay, take it slow. But we’re worried about you, we’re your friends. We’re here to help you, so whatever you have to say, I’ll listen or provide any help if you wish to seek assistance.”
After some hesitation, you told everything to Tighnari, from not knowing when the time was right to express how you felt about Kazuha to what will happen when what you have with Kazuha ends. You speculate he’s hiding something from you, and you know he’s been keeping something hidden ever since you two saw each other again. As you spilled out your worries, Tighnari sat and listened, completely understanding your situation. It’s been so long and you feel yourself losing it. It’s not healthy, and you need to get this situation over with. You have already dealt with years of grieving over the boy you once thought was gone, and now your feelings are on the verge of exploding. By the time you finished venting your feelings to Tighnari, you breathed out, feeling like you were drowning in a sea of your own emotions and thoughts.
He took in everything you said, his silence made you worried if you had said too much. You were about to apologize, but he held his hand up to stop you. “Don’t be sorry for finally telling me how you truly feel; these are your true emotions. You shouldn’t be ashamed of being hurt and afraid for so long.” You look down at your shoes, hands folding on your lap. You prepare yourself for what your friend has to say.
“The best time to tell him your worries is when you get some time alone with him; the times when you were interrupted many times weren’t the appropriate time..So, you should reflect on your feelings before you see him. This can be the first step, you already cleared the main obstacle by telling someone you’re in a tough situation.” By the time he was done, everything made sense to you. You could feel some weight on your shoulders lifting, but not completely.
“If that’s the case..” you pause for a moment, “then..I’ll take your word. Thank you, Tighnari. Thank you so much.”
“Please remember that you are not alone; we’re here for you if you need help. You shouldn't withhold this type of problem from your loved ones. What about your aunt? Does she know about this?”
You shook your head; that was, unfortunately, intentional. You were also suspicious of her, too. But you felt guilty for looking at her that way, she had done a lot for you.
“Would you like some time to yourself?”
“...Yeah, sorry, Tighnari.”
“No, it’s okay, just text us when you’re ready to meet up.”
You’ve been wandering around the museum like a ghost; you felt exhausted, too, after venting. Your legs were tired from walking, and to your surprise, you found a bench. You make your way over so you can finally rest your feet, and a wave of relief washes over you. You’re tired, so tired of this feeling. Just when you thought venting to Tighnari worked, that feeling is still present. After some reflection, you got yourself together. It wasn't the end of the world if your fake relationship with Kazuha ended; there are other options to keep him in contact if he wishes to. Taking a deep breath, you stood up, but your head collided with someone else’s, causing you to almost fall back to the bench. Their arm caught you to prevent you from falling. You opened your eyes to see who they were
And to your blessing horror.
“YN, are you okay? You didn’t look so well when I saw you from afar, so I immediately came over to you.” His eyes were filled with worry, he looked so beautiful up close-
this wasn't supposed to happen..!
You nod quickly, standing up to fix yourself. “Yeah, yeah! I’m okay, I promise!” You felt your heart racing, and your vision was all over the place. “Um..I didn’t know you were here..are you alone?” You asked sheepishly.
Kazuha sighed a breath of relief, knowing you were okay. “I came here with my roommate, he had a project to do, so I brought him here so he could do what he needed to do. He told me I could go and do what I want so..here I am?”
Oh, that person he was with was just a roommate..phew.
“So..are you only here for your roommate?”
“Not anymore. He can handle his project on his own, don’t worry.”
There was silence between you two. You want to talk to him. But you have to be patient.
Kazuha asks. “Do you want to look around with me?”
“Why wouldn't it be? I would love to spend time with you especially after being under pressure by my peers all day..I find myself calm when I'm around you.”
You felt your heart pound like crazy, but not the one from earlier.
What wouldn’t you give to kiss him right now in front of everyone?
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SYNOPSIS Chaos, Love, and Secrets. At Tavyet University, you struggled to make decisions about your future, but it wasn't the only problem. At the same university, your childhood best friend, who vanished, has since been recognized as the president of the student council. He asks you for a big favor after his dishonesty almost cost him his reputation one day.
note: im so sorry for the long wait again :( Procrastination hit, and I had to redo this fic many times..i think I'm satisfied w this LOL
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