Hey Mama

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

i also want to read this guy’s dead wife

given that this was a welding class, I was expecting this to end up so much worse

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

you betrayed everyhting you stand for and all you got in return was a kickass sword and ability to start fires with your mind and d cups. pretty good deal !

at the library waiting to be picked up like it's 2001 or something.

i'm sorry i meant like picked up in a car. by my friend. because i don't have my bike today. i'm not cruising at the library. and if i were i would not have time to post about it. my methods are infallible.

taylor swift is a tyrant for real like value neutral judgement but you can tell in her music the specific point that caligula started visiting her in dreams

she has this 3d-printed mini desk recreation of the bust of caligula with whom she communicates daily and in order to evade football’s suspicions she told him it was jesus and he was like Niiice jesus is actually awesomesauce ❤️ Like jesus helps you with touchdowns🏈🔥 and she was like yess exactly and then asked caligula in perfect latin if he could connect her with the ghost of genghis khan so they can talk strategy

So can non-disabled people stop doing that thing where they act like it’s morally righteous to force yourself to work while you’re sick and assume taking sick days automatically equates to laziness. Any time now. That’d be great

The leader of the scout group I help out at approached me out of hours while I was walking to work to tell me that people have been talking behind my back because I missed more sessions than I attended this term (on account of having Covid twice) and was like “We all show up when we’re sick because we take responsibility” and I felt really shitty and guilty and cried the whole workday then I got home and told my mum and she was like “So they want you to throw up on the kids? That’s dodgy. They don’t even pay you. Stop going” and a wave of serenity hit me like a bus

Conservative beauty standards are back with a vengeance which means it's especially important to go out this summer with bellies out and bodies unshaved. Also be unapologetically disabled with mobility aids and wearable medical devices and stim toys and ear defenders and all that stuff. You need it. People need to see it. Everyone needs to be reminded that life is unquestioningly more enjoyable when you're not living inside an arbitrary set of rules created by people who are offended by all the wrong things.

its gonna be so nuts when our generation of old people is shuffling around with big stupid meme tattoos imagine being a personal support specialist in 2080 and peepaw has a bee movie script sleeve and youre twenty years old and delivering pills like dude what is that and he goes Its from a movie about a jerry seinfeld bug lusting after a human woman who looks like flo from progressive who is still a prominent american cultural figure and you say OK and then you help him plug into his VR headset to play for2nite the sequel to fortnite and he mains former president hunter biden and then you go on lunch break and pay $75 for a ham and cheese sandwich