Ramblings of a Cookie Monster!

How funny literally 4 years ago I decided to change my routine at a time of my life I desperately wanted to do something. I went to dayshift from working nights for 4 years. I don't regret it at all. I missed working w/ the people on nights but I don't think I could trade benefits of being on a normal cycle. No more insomnia, feeling drunk from no sleep, and honestly some days I felt like went into a work mode where I truly was not happy. Now I'm throwing myself into a different role. I've learned that I like to learn new things. I feel versatile and knowledgeable. I wanted to mark today because I realized several things.

I had my annual review. I must say it was probably the best one I've had ever. I feel like it has really highlighted how much I've grown as a nurse. I've never really had a bad annual review because really I know I'm a good nurse. Just hearing some of the comments that others have said about me I was just surprised. Since coming to dayshift 4 years ago I knew there several things right away I had to work on. 1. I'm too nice to a point that I know other people would take advantage. I'm still working on this because there are just times I need to say no. 2. I'm usually a people pleaser to a point. I've learned I don't need everyone to like me, I just need to be able to professionally get along with everyone. I've become an undercover bitch. I still don't feel comfortable in tense confrontations but I'm still working on saying something right away. 3. Feeling competent and being honest. I've learned this a long time ago but I do not try and act like I know something when I don't. Im not afraid to say, "I don't know." I know I have grown so much and proud of myself from what I have accomplished. Someone had written I was fearless. I didn't think I could be fearless lol. I know I'm not afraid to try or learn new things but it was a nice surprise. Someone else stated I was a good resource and confident and competent when it came to making clinical decisions. I'm not afraid to ask questions to things I don't know about so I can agree with this statement. I come to work w/ a big smile and can be firm with a patient about pain medications and if they are uncooperative or grumpy can usually still make that patient's day. I don't let no patient manipulate me especially with pain medication. No boo boo. Lastly, Im a positive influence which help with unit morale. I know I laugh a lot and it can be infectious..

I shadowed for a different department. I actually liked it a lot. I can see myself there which puts me in a difficult pickle with the new position I took. It also has made me realize It actually makes me want to come to work. Since Covid hit there has been many times I hated coming into work. Bed side nursing is difficult and challenging. It is frontline. I've realized for so many years it's my coworkers that I've really enjoyed and are reason I was able to get through the toughest times when I was at work. I also realized change can be difficult and scary especially putting yourself out there but also I learned just how much I can push myself as well.

Change is hard. Guaranteed that everything and everyone always changes.  An opportunity has come up that I’m heavily considering. It has come at a time where I’m breaking my routine completely. So maybe this is a sign.