Hello, dahling

I love to make people happy. Period. Since I can remember that’s been the driving force in my life--making people smile and avoiding making them frown. So obviously I fit right in at the School of Hotel Administration where I got to meet a bunch of other wonderful people who felt the same way and understood what service really means. I mean hell we’d take care of each other in that way, be it the friend who secretly takes care of the brunch check before anyone else gets a chance to offer or the ones who never hesitate to offer you a glass of wine while you’re studying. I loved going the extra mile for my friends because a) I knew they appreciated it and b) I knew they’d reciprocate at some point. We spent 4 years in that bubble getting accustomed to the idea that what we do and the little bits of hospitality we put into everything actually make a difference and actually make people happy. 

My god were we mistaken. 

You see, as it turns out, most of the general population just isn’t happy. Maybe it’s their jobs, or their marriages, or their kids, or something else that makes them walk around constantly annoyed. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that they don’t want to be happy. They don’t go out to eat to cheer themselves up and enjoy each other’s company and the best of what life has to offer. They go out to eat so that for an hour or so there are people serving them which, in their minds, creates a little world where they’re the supreme ruler and we’re the help. They go out to eat to find someone on which to take out their anger. They go out to eat to pay someone else to deal with their shit, whether they want to or not. 

(And trust me, we don’t, or we would have studied psych instead.) 

Of course I want to make you feel like a king or queen when you’re in my restaurant. I want you to have the best experience possible, I want you to walk out with the memory of a fantastic evening that you’ll carry for years. But why should that have to be at my expense? Why do you think that makes it okay for you to treat me like a servant, make me miserable, and leave me to finish up the night then walk out to my car close to tears?

I got into this for the right reasons. I just want to make people smile. But I’m quickly learning that hospitality may not actually be the place for that. Of course there are exceptions--I have some wonderful regulars that have never been anything but kind and patient and absolute delights to serve and I do whatever I can to show them I appreciate that. But it seems like more often than not, my job is about apologizing, managing angry guests, fixing problems and trying to compensate for shortcomings. Rather than making people happy, it feels more like I’m just trying to not upset anyone further. And that kind of position just wears on you, you know? I know this is the path I chose so I’m not asking for much, just the same kind of respect you show your hairdresser, or mechanic, or basically any other service industry besides food. 

It’s times like this when I wish I could blink my eyes and be back in the Statler lounge eating a salad with my friends and working on some project while gossiping or sharing memes or funny videos. Things made sense there.