Male, 20's, Dorset

Not a good day :(. One word answers. Makes me feel like crap. You'd think it would be so clear to me that she isn't interested like even the smallest minutest tiniest bit. But it's not. Because I'm a fucking idiot. Just at home, curled up in a ball and letting everything disappear around me. Yet she could message me in a bit and would just make me miraculously feel better. I hate this. It's one of the worst feelings. Being head over heels for someone but knowing deep down they won't ever be able to see you like that but there's always that small chance you cling to in your heart that they could do. I just want to give her everything x

Heart hammering inside my chest, mind thinking of everything amazing and terrible and everything in-between of what could be. Beyond worried about saying the wrong thing. Probably saying the wrong thing anyway. Almost knowing what the outcome will be, and it's not for the best, well, not for me, or at least it definitely doesn't feel that way right now. The way she can light up your soul even if for the briefest of moments, when she talks to you. Or says something that picks you up, all before the negative thoughts in your head shoot you straight back down again. Nerves, feeling that familiar lump in the back of your throat. Knowing the one thing that will cure this sickness is one word, one action from her. But knowing, with almost certainty, that it won't happen, yet you hang onto the smallest fraction of hope that it will, that it can. You're perfect, smart, funny, beautiful- the way your eyes completely light up and sparkle when you smile, sending warmth spreading through me. But maybe I don't deserve you? I hope you can see me for who I really am. I'm yours.