Dance the world away

Still so needy, I see. 

I mean I’m still the same me so...

MERCEDES: I'm into taking you from being on ten at all times to maybe a palatable 5 or 6.

MERCEDES: This is what I keep you around for.

MERCEDES: You won't have to hear that if you chill.

MERCEDES: .... that toga one is kinda hot. Damn you. What are you going as?

JACKIE: I'd been on ten like Kendrick for so long, and everything was all good, then I let some hot blonde put me on three and Im never doin that shit again, so 10 it is!

JACKIE: Nah, you keep me around because I'm hot and super dope. Lez be honest

JACKIE: No was to Cheetah Girls because I can't have ya fine ass out here being lame. What kind of friend would that make me?

MERCEDES: Would you rather I say you're just alright looking?

MERCEDES: .... continue with the compliments. I'll let the fact they're about my ass fly for the evening.

MERCEDES: I had a feeling you'd listen if I threatened to block.

MERCEDES: I thought about going as the Cheetah Girls but let's keepit real I don't have the funds to go as all four or the friends to make it a group affair.

JACKIE: I mean if you're into tellin big ass lies do you, but I think Jesus frowns on that or something.

JACKIE: I mean you fine fine head to toe, but.. dat ass.

JACKIE: No. No.

JACKIE: No

MERCEDES: I do the Lord's work and compliment someone and I never hear the end of it 🙄.

MERCEDES: I'm definitely NOT going in my birthday suit so you can nix that follow my ass around all night idea.

MERCEDES: and you're not offering any other suggestions besides being nude, I'm gonna block you for like a week.

JACKIE: You didn't even have to say it, because I know you know I'm cute.

JACKIE: Please have you seen your ass? You don't have to be naked for me to follow.

WHILE THIS IS TRUE, it’s not–at its core–a romcom. It’s like super sad bc her fiance killed her and shit :( 

It’s def at it’s core a rom com, because there are always obstacles and shit for the main couple (i.e. Victor and Victoria) to overcome, but in the end they realize they’re meant to be, kiss and bone while the credits are rolling. I mean outside of the death its basically a Hallmark movie.

MERCEDES: 😑

MERCEDES: You're not cute and as iconic I'd be for dropping my jacket at the party I am actively trying not get arrested for a drunk and disorderly or exposing myself.

MERCEDES: You're gonna leave me alone jacqueline.

JACKIE: Why you gosta lie Creg! You know I'm cute. I would appreciate the iconic-ness, the whole night. Like I'd just follow you around like a CUTE ass puppy dog.

I’m back on the market, yes! I’m not exactly sure if I’m breaking any hearts, considering I’m not exactly trying to gain anyone’s heart in the first place, really. Breaking hearts isn’t really my thing, anyways. But definitely, I’ll send the huge line of ladies that are totally coming at me right now straight to you. 

My ordering is better than ever! You’ll impressed by my speed, I think! The diner does sound pretty dope– I’m a little too obsessed with diner food, but I don’t really get out to one much when I can just have someone pick it up for me and bring it to my doorstep. If you wanna give me lessons and I somehow don’t burn down my apartment, I’ll order whatever your little heart desires. 

Oh Rea Rea, you’re braking hearts, on the market, off the market, in the market, or if you selling hippie handy crafts next to the exotic fruit lady. Intentional or not, you got that sauce, girl. Yes, share the newly acquire wealth, I’ll take the left overs, I ain’t too proud. JP loves all the ladies.

MERCEDES: It's come to my attention that I don't have a Halloween costume and this is a problem.

MERCEDES: The possibilities feel too endless. Help. I will pay in songs and lullabies.

JACKIE: Now here's a wild ass idea but, you ever considered birthday suit?

I’ll send all ladies your way, Jackie! Or maybe I should keep them for myself? 

I’d feed you if I had any cooking skills. I’m about to just take in my mid thirties suburban mom soul and take a cooking class. 

Don’t be greedy, Rea! That’s rude. Send me a couple hotties at least. So you outchea on the prowl now? Breakin hearts and whatnot? You must have turned full on playette, if you’re thinking of keeping all the ladies for yourself

Mhm, good luck with that, Puckerman. If you want food, though, I’m pretty sure I’ve got leftover zucchini pasta chilling in the fridge. God knows Mae won’t eat it.

If you think my welcome back doesn’t consist of roses and sexy ladies in bright red thongs you are sadly mistaken. I don’t need luck, middle blondie, I have game.