I sit here, with no company, but my own thoughts. My own treacherous valley of hatred, anger and resentment. I see the horizon, the sunrise and sunset, where my hopes and dreams reside. But I wander this valley with no hope, no rhyme or reason, no direction. Grasping the temporary. Sands of time slipping through my fingers. Grain by grain you don’t just lose time, you lose so much more than that. You lose love, you lose a part of you that will never exist again, a part of yourself you can only view in retrospect. Life and time passes by but so do people and places. And the feelings attached to them. I can’t help but feel cold. -I’ve had my warmth stripped away from me, in the most harsh ways. You give me hope, then you let me down. A major theme of this play called life. Lead me astray, show me a new way, of how things could be. Then show me it was never a possibility. I get too high on emotions. I’m addicted to feeling. I find myself deep in my emotions, a grip too strong for me to break. Whether it be ecstasy, depression or something resentful like jealousy, I find these emotions take over me. My thoughts fly by too fast. The noise is too loud. I can’t hear myself half the time. I can’t finish a thought without another one already trying to take its place. I need to sit here, with no company, but my own thoughts, and see there is a way forward. Because there is no way back. There is here and now, but don’t let that trap you either. Find ambition and desire again. And again, and again. And again. Even if you lose everything again, and again, keep pushing on. You must keep going. Why? I dont even know anymore. A constant back and forth
