This is an absolute crack crack crack Drabble that just popped into my head and I had to get it out, so please enjoy the story of that time when Cassian got himself a dad bod...
“That’s weird” Cassian looks down at the pants of his leathers, confused at their sudden inability to fasten properly and just how tight they feel over his backside. He shrugs and slips back into his sweatpants, sending a mental message to Azriel that they’ll train tomorrow instead.
“Nes, have you been trying to do the laundry yourself again?” He pokes his head out into the kitchen, smirking a little at his very pregnant mate, who sits at the table with her spoon dug into a large tub of cookies and cream, a delicacy that their child seems unable to get enough of.
“Cassian I put a red belt in with your undershirts one time, let it go” she scowls, pushing the ice cream away in shame at having been caught. She always does this when he walks in on her indulging a pregnancy craving.
“I’ll let it go when the sound of Rhys’ laughing at my pink underwear leaves my head”
“Perhaps you should consider why you and your brothers always seem to have occasion to be viewing each other’s undergarments” she raises an eyebrow and he laughs, grabbing a spoon from the cupboard and pushing the ice cream back towards her. She’s always happy to keep eating if he joins her and is careful not to mention it. The peanut butter and pickles night was a little hard to swallow, but the rich frozen desert is certainly no hardship as he begins shovelling spoonfuls into his mouth.
“I’m huge” Nesta sighs, looking down at herself “I can’t even see my feet anymore”
Cassian smiles, reaching under the chair to pull her feet into his lap, slowly rubbing his hands against the arches “they’re still here”
Nesta moans a little “that feel so good”
“Careful or I’ll get jealous that a foot rub is the first thing to make you moan in the last few weeks”
“Please, sex is the farthest thing from my mind right now. I don’t even think you could find it at this point”
“Is that a challenge, sweetheart?”
“No” Nesta purses her lips “I want pizza”
“I don’t think we have any tomato sauce left, but I’ll run out and grab some to make it” Cassian is out of his chair in a second, already halfway to the door when the sound of Nesta’s sighing stops him.
“You don’t have to rush out every time I passingly mention a craving” she pushes the ice cream away again “I swear only half of this weight is actually the baby and the rest is just you fattening me up”
Cassian laughs, tipping his head back “sweetheart, it took us half a century to get that baby inside of you, if it wants a pizza then it can have a pizza! I won’t starve my little warrior”
“What if it’s a girl?” Nesta stares at him.
“My statement stands” he shrugs and is about to open the door when Nesta remembers
“I thought you were training with Azriel tonight?”
“I told him I’d come tomorrow, I think the laundress shrunk my favorite leathers so I’ll have to grab some new ones in the morning”
Nesta looks up at him, chewing softly on her bottom lip “are you sure they shrunk, dear?” Cassian narrows his eyes. Nesta only calls him dear about once a decade, usually when she has bad news, but what could possibly be bad news right now?
“What do you mean?” Cassian crosses his arms over his broad chest
“Well, it’s just that... with the baby I know you’ve been preoccupied and you’re always so focused on me that-“
“You’ve gotten fat, brother” the shadows enter the room before Azriel does, a good natured smirk fixed on his face.
“Excuse me?” Cassian turns to his invading brother.
“I’m here for an intervention” Azriel looks Cassian up and down, taking in the out of shape warrior. He is still large and imposing, but the muscles in his arms are significantly less defined and his thighs are larger than Azriel remembers, he’s willing to bet that he’s not as fast as he was a few months ago either. Cassian shifts under his brother’s gaze, thinking that these really aren’t his most flattering pants, before he turn to look at Nesta
“I had nothing to do with this” she raises her hands over her head in surrender
“Do you know that this was the 9th time you’ve cancelled training this month?” Azriel stares at his brother, still raking his narrowed eyes critically over Cassian’s form “I haven’t seen you in the ring since Nesta’s first trimester”
“This is unbelievable” Cassian mutters under his breath “I’m not fat! Ok fine maybe I’ve put on a few sympathy pounds, and maybe I’ve missed a couple workouts but I still look great!”
“Yes you do” Nesta nods from the table “Your ass has never looked better”
“Exactly!” Cassian scoffs at Azriel “fat, I am the General of the Night Court Armies, the Lord of Bloodshed. People cower when I enter a battlefield. I’m not fat!”
“And when was the last time you entered a battlefield, brother?” Azriel raises an eyebrow.
Cassian scoffs “It’s not my fault Prythian has been at peace for over 8 decades.”
“Alright” the shadowsinger circles his brother “now tell me about how you’re blaming this poor laundress for shrinking your leathers, hmm?”
“She did, you can go look for yourself!”
“All of your leathers, huh? Every single pair? You had them all washed at once?”
“Well no but I-“ Cassian stutters a little, thinking about his brother’s words. Maybe he has been eating more sweets than normal with Nesta, but...
“Remember when Feyre was pregnant and Rhys started sobbing when he realized that he lost his 6-pack?” Azriel inclines his head
“This is not like that!” Cassian shakes his head “Rhys was a total busybody, he stayed home with Feyre and just cooked and ate with her all day, he barely left the house for months, he...” Cassian trails off at Azriel’s smug grin and raised eyebrow “I’m not fat” he points a finger hard “I’m big boned! I’ve always been bigger than you and Rhys, and frankly it’s insulting that you would bring this up, I’m just....”
“Thick” Nesta smirks from the table, licking ice cream off of her spoon.
“That is not helping sweetheart”
Azriel sighs, turning to Nesta “Elain will be here in a half hour, she’s just finishing a loaf of that cheesy bread you love” Nesta’s eyes light up “you guys have a great night catching up while I kick this one’s” he points a finger at Cassian, already pushing him towards the door “sorry ass up and down the training ring”
“I’m not fat” Cassian grumbles for the millionth time even as he allows his brother to shove him out the door.
“That’s right” Nesta yells after them “it’s called a dad bod!” She can hear Azriel laugh and Cassian grumble even more as she reaches over for her book, counting down the seconds to when her cheesy bread will arrive.
izzy806
dededos
jbbartram-illu
pixelskylines
