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There's a new swarm of totally real ladies with empty blogs following me, and I'm blocking and reporting them left and right. If you are an actual human person with a brand new account trying to follow me, I urge you to please post *anything at all* on your blog so that when I go to check who the heck you are, I can tell you aren't just a bot-encrusted void. Just a simple "hello this is my lurker account I use to follow people" is enough.

*taps sign* I am once again being haunted by ladies of questionable reality, as well as a lot of blank blogs without a custom avatar. If you are a recent arrival from the ex-parrot site with a brand new tumblr blog, I am asking you to please post ANYTHING at all on your blog, even if you're only going to lurk passively to follow people. Otherwise, you look just like the dozens of bots I've blocked this week.

You run a café on the edge of life and death. Souls who have been departed from their bodies temporarily, such as in comas or near-death experiences, can relax in your quaint cafe for as long as they need before they can either return to their bodies or begin their journey to the afterlife.

You and me, 11000 years.