you think i'm just a doll

Leonard never thought about making snow cones before but maybe that’s due to always having something more important on his mind. There wasn’t much that the man does to unwind. God knows that he needs it after recent events too. He can’t always turn to alcohol to solve his problems since it just makes him feel rotten the next morning. Besides drinking is dangerous to begin with since alcoholism tends to run in his family. This isn’t about that though. ”Breakfast? Aren’t they usually a snack you eat between lunch and dinner?” He laughs while finally giving his friend his full attention. “I don’t know shit abut snow cones so I could be wrong.” He shrugs his shoulders, preparing for their venture to the store.

“Yeah, really. I’ll make you all the snow cones you want.” Leonard wants to be cool and maybe this will be a good distraction from all the bullshit in his life right now. “I hope the Twinkies aren’t meant to be put on the snow cones somehow.” How would that even work? He thinks that sounds disgusting but the cherry syrup sounds alright. Harley is already pulling him toward the door and Leonard is following her. “I don’t mind being seen with you. We aren’t doing anything wrong and I’m not really worried about what people think. Never have been. You’re my friend and dammit we’re going to get that cherry syrup.” He nudges the door open with his foot and holds it open for her to leave first.

-

There was nothing inconspicuous about Harley’s outfit. It was outrageous, just like her, and she skipped out the door in a brilliant flash of pink and blue. “Ya can eat breakfast anytime, Lenny! Snow cones too! Don’t tell me ya never been ta an IHOP in the middle of a heist!” Harley wasn’t exactly a morning person either, but that was common with the rogues. Everyone went to work once the sun went down.

It wasn’t until they were on the street that she brought up something she’d noticed since arriving. “What’s eatin’ ya?” Leonard not shying away from walking at her side in spite of his own reformation put an extra spring in her step. Harley loved her friends, and any show of loyalty made her chest swell. “C’mon! I can see ya got somethin’ on yer mind.” For all she could appear, Harley was about the furthest thing from stupid. Some of the dumb blonde act faded when she was around the people closest to her, especially Pam, but she rarely showed just how intelligent and calculated she really was.

“Did you give it a name?” Kai asked as soon as he heard the request not really looking in Harley’s direction and his eyes were trained on the alleyway. “Hmm, that’ll be pretty easy, I think I could search for the cat in this entire city in a second and find it.” he said mostly to himself before stepping up to the area. With his hands still in his pockets he tried to remember to look only for feline signatures, calling upon the earth beneath him to track down the specific cat. The earth’s scan was initiated and within a second he found the cat. He used earth to coax the cat into the alleyway, guiding it along before it hopped over a nearby wall. “That your cat?” he mused before stepping out. 

-

“I call ‘im Creamsicle!” The fact that the cat didn’t belong to her hadn’t been a deterrant. Eyes wide, Harley skipped after the stranger curiously. Before she had a chance to ask any questions, however, the very cat in question appeared right at her feet. She gasped and bent down, scooping Creamy up in her arms and nuzzling into his fur. “Awee! Thanks, sweetie! So, ya some kinda magician or somethin’?” Grinning, she stuck out her hand. “Harley Quinn. Pleased ta meetcha!”

A significant size of Hartley’s mischief looked up at the woman with their beaded eyes. Her undivided attention to Moon made some of them lift their heads up. The aforementioned rat accepted her affections, small pink tongue peeking out in his attempt to lick her cheek.

“I’d ask what drew you to the conclusion that I’ve made some impact on the city when that’s not really my MO,” explained Hartley, sitting back in his chair. His index and middle were pressed against his temple in false contemplation. “Curiosity is beside me, though. Appreciate the gifts for the mischief. They like the attention more than I do.”

-

Squealing, Harley cuddled the rat against her cheek. The little pink tongue tickled and she giggled. “Awww Harts! Doncha think he missed me??” It wasn’t the longest time she’d been locked up, but it was still a significant time to go without seeing the rogues. Many of them were her best friends. 

That made her pout. “That mean yer outta the game, too?” She sighed heavily and went back to petting Moon. “Everyone’s gotten so borin’! Doncha remember the good ‘ol days? We used ta have so much fun!” 

Ivy’s fingers tightened into a fist at her side, but she didn’t push back again. They had done this dance a thousand times, but Harley always found some way to push her off. To excuse Joker’s behavior. Like he wasn’t the same as every other worthless man on this planet. The ultimate parasites. If only there were a way to get Harley to see. But there wasn’t. So Ivy had to choose to keep her in her life as she was or not at all. And Ivy would always choose ‘as she was’.

She loved children. It wasn’t anything about Lucy. But the poor girl had been separate from her mother already. Hadn’t that been the whole point of what the Joker did? Ivy wanted to point this out, but it was in the best interest of the little one to keep her here surrounded by plants that could protect and sustain her. “She can stay here,” Ivy agreed. “I wish you would too, Harls. You’re not safe with him and you know it.” Especially if even she was concerned about Joker’s behavior. 

If Harley were at all aware of Ivy’s tension, she didn’t show it. She knew when to mind her moods, just like she knew to mind Mistah Jay’s, although the two of them weren’t anything alike. They were still the two most important people in her life, even though they hated each other.

“Ohh, Pammy-Wammy!” Setting Lucy on her feet, Harley darted across the room to throw her arms around Ivy’s neck, kissing her cheek and leaving behind a pink-shaped heart. “Thank you so much! An’ I’ll be fine, pinky-promise! I swear it’s just a couple days, hun! Like a sleepover! Right, Luce?” The grin Harley gave to her daughter didn’t have any of its usual sparkle. She was trying, but the thought of turning around and leaving her behind was quickly weakening her resolve. It hadn’t been in Harley’s control before. Now she was in a position where she was willingly leaving her behind. Even if it was to keep her safe, it made her feel like a terrible mother. 

He didn’t even hear her as his manic blue eyes settled on the screen. The words were hollow. Preliminary reports confirm only one casualty: Bruce Wayne, now known to the world as Batman.

No. No that couldn’t be right. If he were dead… why was Joker still here? How could Batman be gone and Joker was still here? It wasn’t possible was it? Not to exist without the other half of your soul. A giggle bubbled up out of his chest, a high pitched and terrifying little thing. Another followed it, and suddenly he was laughing. For a solid minute, Joker cackled. It was the kind of reaction that did not make sense, even for the Joker. But he couldn’t be alone. He couldn’t be without the person who gave it all meaning. 

Harley’s voice was ringing in his ears, high and piercing as she tried to offer him pithy possibility. He was still giggling.

Until he wasn’t. 

Harley was so light. It was easy at this point. Too easy. If Joker were in a better place, even he might have winced, but he didn’t. Not as he lifted her and threw her into the television. The electronic and Harley Quinn crashed to the floor, but the insipid reporter still spoked, albeit in a distorted voice. The laughter bubbled out again before he gave a cry, full of anguish and ending on a hysterical note. Just by Harley’s shoulder, two shots from his pistol rang out. Just an inch to the left and the Clown Queen would have her brains spattered all over the wall behind them. But Joker had instead settled for mechanics and pieces of plastic as he blew the television away before turning abruptly. Studying the pistol in hand, he felt his chest tighten up as he pressed the barrel to his own temple, cocking his head. “Button button,” he said quietly, finger wavering on the trigger. 

Batman was dead, and Joker should be with him. They were destined for that. They were meant to be tied up. All knotted around each other like a balloon animal.

Each sound, every little giggle, made Harley’s breath catch as she watched him. She didn’t know what she was waiting for, but she found herself eager for it. Not fearful. She wanted to experience his reaction in spite of what would follow it, because it meant she was part of it. After spending so much time on the outside looking in, the idea of being part of Joker’s ever-obsessive focus on the Batman was exciting. 

She hadn’t given much thought to what a world without Batman would be like. It seemed ripe with possibility - to her, that is - and the thought made her heart race. The biggest hurdle would be to get Joker on board with this new world, especially after so many years of Batman being his singular focus. Harley hated Batman sometimes because of it, for occupying every little corner of his mind until she was squeezed out, shoved aside, or left to rot in Arkham. Waiting. Was this what she was waiting for? A world with the Batman? 

There was no time to react, to even stop herself from striking the television with the full weight of her body, and she felt it shatter. Even after crashing to the floor she remained still, surrounded by tiny little pieces of the display that came lose from its large spiderwebbed crack. The shots were loud and made her jump, but Harley waited with bated breath, a small whimper catching in her throat so she wouldn’t interrupt the silence. She knew when to push and she knew when to wait. 

Ivy narrowed her eyes. “You can be mad at him,” she answered. Because she knew what the Joker ‘a little shook up’ was. And he had probably hit Harley. Or hurt her. God, if it weren’t for Harley loving him, she would have choked the life out of the Joker. Poisoned him. Impaled him with thorns. Planted a seed in his gut fauna and then had a tree burst from his throat. She could think of a thousand ways she would have killed that clown bastard for touching her best friend.

“What about Lucy?” she asked. “What if he’s ‘a little upset’ around her?” Ivy had never approved of the clown getting Harley pregnant, but of course she had wanted it. Ivy couldn’t force her to think seriously about it. It was a shame, because Harleen would have been able to. “Is she safe now that he’s pulled his stunt?”

Harley waved her hand in the air. “It’s nothin’, doll! Nothin’ I haven’t seen before.” That wasn’t the full truth. Joker hadn’t ever been like this before, never believed Batman was dead and gone, and she didn’t know how to handle it. Sometimes it seemed like things were getting better, but then BAM - she had another mess to clean up and even more job interviews to schedule. She couldn’t blame him for being unpredictable, and she knew she had to tread lightly.

//

“I can’t say that I’ve ever made a snow cone.” Leonard manages to grin at the request. He opened his home to Harley an hour ago and doesn’t know what the purpose of her visit is yet but she doesn’t seem to be leaving anytime soon. He needed a friend right now, so the man decided, why not? He debates it for a moment and it couldn’t be too hard. He leans in the doorway while a towel is in his hands to dry them since they were wet from doing the dishes.

Alright … Snart takes a step forward and throws the cloth aside before approaching Harley in the living room. “I’ll make you a snow cone.” He can alter a component in his cold gun so it comes out more like snow rather than ice. He’s a genius after all. “Two villains walk into a grocery store … ah, that isn’t how that saying goes.” Leonard is grabbing his phone and wallet to slide them into his pocket. He even decided to grab a pair of sunglasses out of one of the drawers and holds them in his hands. This way they’ll both be wearing a pair. “Lets go shopping.”

-

Harley made a soft scoffing sound when Leonard said he’d never had a snow cone, as if offended by such an admission, but then she giggled as she twirled the ends of her pigtail around one finger. “Lenny, if I had icy powers I’d be makin’ snow cones fer breakfast!” Grinning, she hopped up and sat on the back of the couch to watch him do the dishes, swinging her legs to and fro.

“Really?” She squealed excitedly, clapping her hands together. “Yay! ‘Kay, so the convenience store on the corner’s got cherry syrup an’ Twinkies, so I think we outta go there first.” It was the logical solution and the best way to kill two birds with one stone. Jumping off the couch, she grabbed Leonard’s sleeve and tugged at him impatiently. “Ya don’t mind bein’ seen with me, right? I know ya gotta act like yer all reformed an’ all, arencha afraid I’m gonna ruin yer new, squeaky clean rep?”