Progressive Pat

Recently I made a Storify of several discussions about anti-capitalism in progressive movements, one of which I took part in. Please check it out and share. Also, you should follow the other (much more important) members of these discussions, @suey_park and @DarkMatterRage, on Twitter. 

Disclaimer: This piece is simply about my experience as a cis, white, gay man and my treatment at the hands of the Catholic Church in America. Please write to me and tell me if in anyway I screwed something up. 

For me, the question of my sexuality was the main cause for much of my distress growing up. I was raised in a hyper-Catholic household, where the mere mention of “gay” or “lesbian” was quickly hushed and put aside. In fact, anything that contradicted the close-minded view that my parents facilitated was quickly and effectively crushed, ensuring that for most of my life I associated “gay” with nothing but negative stereotypes and misinformation. This is why that now that I am (at least legally) an adult, I have shied away from religion for the most part. Not because I discount the good it can do or believe that all believers are horrible people, but because I believe that many of the institutions behind these faiths are corrupt and because I have experienced firsthand the damage that their doctrines can do to a young mind. 

I know some young people who are radically religious, actively working to challenge the stereotype that our generation is a godless one only focused upon fulfilling our hedonistic desires. And one the surface, I agree with what they are doing. I like the idea that we must bounce back against negative stereotypes. But when we begin to discuss politics, a myriad of problems arise. One of the major ones is their treatment of LGBT people. Now, most of these people will not hesitate to denounce the vile hate-speech associated with groups such as the Westboro Baptist Church, and while this is technically a good thing, it doesn’t take much to agree that the WBC approach is wrong and flawed. 

No, I would argue that their approach to us is much more insidious. On the surface, they can claim “we don’t HATE you, we just believe that love exists between a man and a woman! We don’t HATE you, we just think that the body you were born determines your gender! We don’t HATE you, but if you happen to be attracted to both genders, make sure you choose the opposite one! That’s all! We love you!” This argument for conditional love does nothing but slowly chip away at our mental health and well-being until we are left voiceless and alone. I once read that the Catholic approach to LGBT youth does not need to be reformed, because nowhere does it state that homosexuals are bad people. Rather, it says that homosexual behavior is the problem. One of my favorite smart people out there, John Corvino, does a great job of unpacking why the “love the sinner, hate the sin” mentality is fundamentally flawed. Here’s his video explaining his perspective. Anyone that argues that the “love the sinner, hate the sin” mentality works, and that it is not harmful, is probably not a LGBT person, and thus does not have the experience necessary to determine how this doctrine impacts the lives of LGBT people. Now, that is not to say that there are not LGBT Catholics who subscribe to this belief, and while I respect their experiences and perspectives, the accounts I have read penned by “gay Catholics living chastely” together echo a deeply-rooted pain and loneliness. I can only look to their struggles with pity and heartache. I cannot tell them how to live their lives but I wish so desperately that they would allow themselves to experience how freeing life can be if you allow yourself to truly be who you are. 

I remember thinking about these issues while I practiced my faith. I remember the terror and shame that came along with trying to accept the fact that I might not be able to live a fulfilling, happy life. And even now that I have left that way of life behind, I still feel that the Catholic Church fails people like me everyday. 

The Church fails when it refuses to take a stand against bills legalizing against the discrimination of LGBT people. It fails when it equates the expression of love to two people of the same sex to an infringement of so-called “religious liberty.” It fails when it remains silent as the rates of suicide and homelessness among LGBT people are shockingly high. It fails when a priest’s homily is dedicated solely to condemning homosexuals and “false marriage” rather than recognizing that a) marriage is but one fraction of the rights robbed from LGBT Americans and b) that civil marriage in no way infringes upon the rights of Catholics. The Church fails when it remains silent about the oppression Ugandan LGBT people face, even as their cardinal speaks out against it. 

And before some well-meaning Catholic writes to me tell me that the Church teaches that LGBT people should be treated with respect and compassion, STOP. I know. I know that technically that is the official teaching. However, as a gay ex-Catholic, the Church doesn’t take this stance. At least not in the local churches I have seen and heard about. Rather, the focus is upon making sure that “traditional marriage” is protected at all costs. 

I’m tired of it. I’m tired of this dichotomy where on the one hand supposedly my “lifestyle” as a gay man infringes upon someone else’s liberty. My lifestyle is no different than anyone else’s, save perhaps that I am sexually and romantically attracted to men. I’m tired of being told that I just need to be patient when slowly but surely, creeping across our nation, legislation is being pushed that directly harms me and millions like me. I’m tired of waiting around because sooner or later my rights will be gone. I’m tired of people trying to explain to me the Catholic Church’s position when by remaining silent they erase LGBT Americans and actively harm them. 

Yesterday the verdict of the Dunn Trial was announced, and my Twitter feed exploded with friends and activists decrying the verdict and expounding upon what the message it sent. The purpose of this piece is not to explain the verdict, I’ll leave that to a piece by Nicole Flatow over at ThinkProgress. 

The issue that many take with the verdict, and one that I agree with, is that time and time again the justice system reveals the inherent, institutional racism present within it. Last year with the Trayvon Martin case, and this time with Jordan Davis, we are reminded of the chilling fact that the lives of black Americans are worth less than their white counterparts. While I believe people of every creed, color, sexual orientation, and gender identity should be outraged about this blatant disregard for human life, even as a white man I have a personal stake in this issue: I have three biracial siblings. When I hear about cases like this, a mixture of sadness, worry, and anger all but engulfs me. When I look into their beautiful faces I am reminded time and again that they could be shot simply because of their skin color. 

Last night and on July 13th last year, the cases of Jordan Davis and Trayvon Martin dealt a blow to anyone committed to justice, and especially to those who are related to people of color, whether they be brothers, sisters, children, husbands, wives, parents, aunts, or uncles. Those verdicts reminded us that our loved ones can be disposed of because of their skin color if they have the misfortune to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If either of these two men were white, the case would be cast in an entirely different light. Something needs to change, and it needs to change soon. Only the white and privileged are allowed to “stand their ground” when they feel threatened. When Marissa Alexander fired a warning shot at her abusive husband, she was sentenced to 20 years in a federal prison. Fortunately, she has been released from prison on a bond and will be retried in March. Many activists are calling for a repeal of Stand Your Ground laws, and I could not agree with them more. 

I’m currently a student, and when discussing racism many of my peers take the well-trodden road of the typical White Person, that is, to say that racism is over because lawful segregation has been abolished, schools have been integrated, and interracial marriage is no longer met with burning crosses. This position is tempting because it is lazy. It is easy to look to the past and dismiss the struggles of the present. It is incredibly frustrating, as it passively perpetuates the daily dangers faced by people of color. That is not to say that these people are bad people who hate anyone unlike them. Rather, they are lazy and comfortable in the status quo, and instead of correcting the inequalities within it, they sit back and benefit from these inequalities.