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French Bad Guy and the Dalmatians

Peeking through the door

Noticing a ladder resting on the window ledge of a open upstairs window the dim witted robber quickly climbed up and through the window, not for one moment did he think that it odd as the property was empty with the family supposedly away on vacation. Now inside the bedroom he made his way out and towards the stairs that led downstairs as he'd heard the Johnson's had a safe kept under the stairs, as he approached he failed to notice the marbles on the top step, he stepped on them his feet flew forward and he landed with a bump on his backside, such was his momentum he bumped down every step on his butt, bump,bump, bump! along with the bouncing marbles around him until he reached the final step when he let out a mighty Yeeeoww! as on the bottom step there were some carpet grippers that had been strategically secured to it and the little hooks on them had pearced through his trousers and poked his bum. He immediately leaped up to a load RiiiiiiiiiP! and clutched his bottom and realised it wasn't his pants he could feel but his briefs, a skimpy blue pair decorated with white Polka-dots that barely covered his ample rump. He then heard some giggling, and then the imbarrssed crook released, the ladder, the open window, the marbles, the seat of his pants ripped off, I've been pranked again!!

Such was his eagerness to get out of the house he ran to the front door desperate to get out before he suffered any more humiliation, and noticing a pet flap in the bottom of the door he stupidly dived head first at it, as if he could possibly fit through it, of course he didn't only his head burst through, and now there he was head stuck outside looking at the garden the rest of him inside on his hands and knees,

Then he listened and wondered what was coming next, after a moment he heard laughter from behind, "ooooh look isn't he wearing such qute undies " he heard someone say " yes indeed they are" replied another voice and went on "now then mister we've noticed you hanging about outside recently eyeing up our home and we guessed what you were up to, so we put it out that we were going away yesterday and set up a little trap for you and here you are"

"What shall we do with him next" the frenchman gulped when heard this, there then followed some whispering and some giggles while the family discussed what the finale should be, "yes brilliant idea " the frenchman then heard what sounded like a squeaky toy, then he felt someone pull back the waistband of his exposed tight little blue briefs and something being dropped inside before releasing them, "agh' "what you doing " asked the alarmed theif, still on his hands and knees and his head stuck through the door. "Well we all think you should meet our Rex" he heard a voice say "REX NOT ANOTHER BLOODY DOG " cried out the French badie as he heard a door behind him opening " language language" please replied Mrs Johnson before her foot gave his briefclad butt a couple of gentle kicks and the object down the back of his briefs let off a squeak! squeak! You see what had been dropped inside the frenchmans underpants was Rex's squeaky toy, Rex a adorable little Jack Russell with sharp little teeth and now inside the room hearing the familiar squeak of his toy ran tail wagging straight to his toy in its unfamiliar polkadot cover.

There followed several sounds for a couple of minutes "grrrr grrrr" went Rex, tail wagging! squeak! squeak! went the squeaky toy, ha ha ha! went the family looking on! Ouch! Ouch! went the French badie! RIIIIIIP! RIIIIIIP! went his skimpy briefs, until they finally ripped away leaving him bare bottomed! Once the laughter had subsided, "you see as much as we loved your qute undies they just had to go for you to, how can I say feel the full effect of what's coming" The Johnson's a very sports active family, as the many rosettes and photos on the wall proved, also on the wall a paddle from their canoeing exploits that had been mounted, Mr Johnson took down the paddle, "you must stop breaking into people's houses " Smack! went the paddle against the Frenchbadguys bare backside "Yeeeoww" Mr Johnson then handed the paddle over to his family who each took their turn "you must never try to rob us again" Smack! "Yeeeoww" "you must never snoop around outside" Smack! Yeeeoww " and finally "never mess with the Johnson's" Smack! "Yeeeoww"

Clumsy French Poacher Defeated!

Dressed in some khaki shorts and a pith helmet on his head to look the part, and armed with a tranqulizer firing pistol he set off to a area where he'd heard monkeys could be found. Just as he'd started to climb a tree to get a good place to wait for the perfect shot he felt something pulling on his holster in which his pistol was kept, looking down he saw a monkey had climbed up behind him no doubt curious about the strange figure climbing a tree. The frenchmans holster along with the belt to which it was attached too and his shorts began to slide down. "you goddamm critter" he yelled as he fumbled for his pistol as his belt, holster, and shorts slide down his legs over his boats and off, having not quite got hold of the pistol that also feel to the ground with a thud which caused it to go off with a bang! the Frenchbadguy felt a sudden pain in his left butt cheek "Yeeeoww " he yelled reaching for his butt and falling from the tree at the same time.

Famous ENM Moments - Sword Skills

Hands Up, Pants Down!

Target Acquired!

“YEOOOOOOW! Why you little mongrel!”

Story written by @profoundexpertearthquake.

Rom had been planning it for weeks, robbing the bank at the small seaside town, and it was all going so well apart from the pesky dog that ran around him barking as he fled from the bank.

As Rom made his down the beach and on to the fishing jetty to which he’d moored the motor boat earlier that morning for a speedy get away, ROMs glee at his imminent escape soon evaporated however when he found that the rope to which he’d attached the boat had worked lose and the boat was now drifting out at sea.

With the dog still prancing and barking around him and Rom now thoughly frustrated he yells shut up stupid dog! and aims a kick at the young collie the nimble dog easerly aviods the swinging boot and gives Rom a nip on his butt, now furious Rom swing’s wildly again with his boot which again the dog easerly aviods however this time the K9 chomps down firmly on Rom’s backside.

“Yeeeooow!” howls Rom and then a thunderous ripping sound followed as the whole seat of Rom’s black pants are torn off exposing his skimpy briefs to large group of people who’d rushed over angrily at the sight of the young man trying to kick the dog and now they cheered and pointed at the sight before them.

Rom now embarrassed once again having his undies exposed and with the sound police sirens getting nearer he pulls a pistol from the front pocket of his pants.

“I need to get the hell out of here, get back!” he yells at the crowd pointing his gun at them, his mistake as he turned his back on the dog who immediately took hold of Rom by the rear of his briefs and began tugging on them pulling them further and further out of the huge hole in Rom’s pants untill the rear rips away snapping at the narrow sides and ripping at the crotch leaving Rom bare arsed.

Laughter erupts once again as Rom turns to face the dog he takes aim at the with his pistol at the dog and steps back ready to fire only to fall off the jetty and into the sea with a loud splash. Rom is fished out of the water by two police officers and lead away in some discomfort as a crab has locked itself to ROMs right butt cheek much to everyone’s amusement.

Bear Behind (Alternative)