oh hai.
i purely set up this blog so that i can have somewhere to put my reaaaaally personal rants and outbursts and shit, but mainly this post so. here we go.
i’m writing this because i’m not great at expressing myself quickly. i forget important details and then just go around in circles for ages until i forget the point or just ???? suck at expressing in general.
and also because this is pretty embarrassing.
if i’ve sent you this post it means you’re a really good friend. like, the best friend. and because of that reason, i know you’re gonna be cool with this shit!!!
but i will run away and hide for hours after i’ve sent it soooo... don’t expect to hear from me soon after you’re done reading this tome of shit. (i’m a little bitch, i know lmao.) i’m not even sure i’m gonna be brave enough to ever send it to anyone, so i’m writing this on 04/06/18 for the record.
okay so, getting onto the point of this rant (it’s nothing bad, promise!!! in fact, you might find it pretty useful if you’re one of the people who see me a lot irl), grab a cup of some fucking good tea and sit yo ass down because it’s a long, weird one.
basically, hai, i have a sweet lil MPD (that’s a multiple personality disorder, even though we’re apparently not meant to call them that anymore but?? fuck off m8) aaaaaand while i have it fairly under control (i’m aware of when i’m shifting?? changing?? and i remain conscious and retain my memories unless it’s P1, in which case, yikes, probably wont) it’s always pretty good for me to explain who is who, what they’re like and it might give you an idea how to handle them/when they come out/what causes it???? am i even making sense???? i’m so tired y’all.
SO ANYWAY let’s just fucking get on with it uuuugh.
bucky: so, the main offender is bucky. you’ve probably met him. he’s a prick. i’m sorry. bucky is kinda like the protector. he comes out when i’m dealing with extreme stress and trauma, when people are seriously (DANGEROUSLY) pissing me off, if i’m in an overly crowded place (especially if it’s so crowded i’m practically pinned against a wall, ya know?? so busy trains, cons, queues, gigs etc), watching quite literally any captain america movie or if e.g, i’m watching something involving someone being strapped down and electrocuted. he’s mean and grumpy when he wants to speak (he’s very quiet), likes to hide in corners, under hoods and black clothes. his hands twitch and clench a lot, will also probably call you a whore in russian. he can be violent, but not towards people (he likes punching walls and himself) and just a general dickhead that’s pretty hard to talk down, but he doesn’t mean to be. he’s sorry and doesn’t want to be like this, i can’t stress that enough. i’m not really sure how to help him. the only way i’ve ever known is to just talk to my wonderful bestie cat (if you’re not cat, dw, you are definitely one of the people who at least knows cat) and see where that road goes. it’s pretty much always effective.
like i said, he’s not easy but he’s at least common so you can get used to each other. sorry.
the best way to know he’s coming out and stop that shit at the source is if i start dragging my arrow/flash necklace that i ALWAYS have on side to side.
quinnie: aha quinnie. she’s fun but also a bitch and will definitely run her mouth. she loves people but doesn’t trust them much. she also likes going out and dancing, she’s the only confident one. quinnie is the heartbroken, hence the “liking people but not trusting them” thing. she’s kinda petty and envious all the time but will cover it with alcohol and banter. good times, sweetie. childish but in a silly way. i really don’t know what to say about this bitch other than ‘hot mess - keep away from sharp objects’. she’s fun though!! will probably take you to drag clubs but do keep an eye on her because she’ll quickly tumble down to crying on a street corner threatening to message problematic people/beat people up/kill herself lmao.
peachy: peachy is my fave. they’re so cute. peachy is a feral ass, wolf child who loves all things pastel, cute and dainty. basically just imagine if melanie martinez and emilie autumn had a baby that was a furry ya know. they’re very shy, quiet and will fidget a lot. they’re also very messy and clumsy but they’re kind and will offer you a cup of tea every like five minutes. peachy is pretty childlike, you’ll probably find them colouring in and watching ghibli movies. just such a soft bean, wow. protect them.but because they’re so quiet they tend to mumble and not speak a lot because this wold child is on eDGE like bitch calm down it’s chill. they’re pretty pure and fluffy, they like scritches and chilling. they also have a lot of anxiety and they’re sUCH a god damn cry baby. best way to combat this is to sit them down in front of a soft movie or tv show with tea. but seriously, they cry over everything. please let them know before you touch them because they apparently scratch :-))))
uhhhhhmmmmm yeah?? so i think that’s it???/? like feel free to ask me questions and shit/??? sorry i know this is dumb and weird and dUMB but that’s my life thanks for listening
ellievsbear
areudirty
theartofmadeline
romaincrisis
gummygunk
prguitarman