Things You Said… (?) @beguiiling
1) things you said at 1 am
If he closed his eyes he could almost imagine sitting within those gardens again. Feeling the heat on his neck and feeling the ever so slight breeze from the ocean rustling through his hair. With closed eyes he could imagine that the moonlight that was cast over him was the moon of a different hemisphere, could imagine someone sitting next to him. Could perhaps even feel the warmth of a hand pressed against his own.
Yet when he opened his eyes all he saw was the moonlight painting the still and quiet park around him. The bench he sat on empty besides his own presence, his hand achingly empty.
2) things you said through your teeth
His breathing hitched - teeth biting together as Shax’s hands smoothed along his back. His own hands braced in front of him against the bed - face pressed into the soft embrace of a silken pillow. Body taut against the ministrations of the one behind him.
3) things you said too quietly
They had fought - a seemingly more and more common occurrence in the wake of their reunion. Shax had stormed off, currently engaged at the opposite side of the room in pouring more liquor into his glass. The crystal reflecting the light as an amber liquid was hastily poured inside. He was spouting words of annoyance at him - at his attitude, his perceived indifference towards him.
“I love you.” the words were barely a whisper. Shocking himself at how easily they had rushed out, he swallowed heavily watching the figure across the room for any indication they had heard them. Heart hammering in his chest, drowning out any of the words that continued to spill from Shax’s mouth.
His heart tightened and his mouth ran dry - Shax had not heard them.
Nor did he have the strength to utter them again.
4) things you said over the phone
The phone had been something given to him. Something in which Shax had proferred upon him to shorten the distance between them when they were miles and miles apart. As was more often the case with Shax it was frequently abused as a method of him saying entirely lurid things to him while not even being in the same room.
“I am currently wearing a sweater, the small tag on the inside states that it is 100% wool. Do you wish to know the configuration of materials involved within the pants I am presently wearing as well?”
He didn’t always understand the appeal of some of the questions - and if he did he was certainly not going to give Shax the satisfaction of playing along.
At least not all the time.
5) things you didn’t say at all
The words never left his mouth - how could they? When they were possibly the most untrue thought he had ever possessed. It felt wrong to think them, the feeling intensifying in the knowledge that some part of him wanted to say them. Just to see what Shax would do in the wake of them.
6) things you said under the stars and in the grass
“This is -” he paused, glancing to the face next to his own. Feeling the dampness of the grass press against his own clothes. No doubt he would hear Shax’s complaints on the state of his own clothing when they were once again within the warm confines of his home. Hearing him fret and call for Judith to right them to a fitting state.
But for now this was peaceful - something that was contained by their amiable silence and the way that Shax’s fingers rubbed soothing circles along his own knuckles.
7) things you said while we were driving
He looked at Shax - fitting him with a look as they careened through the pleasant countryside.
“Do you even own a license for this vehicle?”
8) things you said when you were crying
9) things you said when i was crying
“Forgive me.” he said, pressing a kiss against Shax’s temple. Feeling his hands press alongside those strong shoulders till they held Shax close, their bodies pressed tight together.
10) things you said that made me feel like shit
“Why don’t you find someone else then - if my presence is so taxing.” The words were spoken bitterly and without the care and thought of what would come after.
“Perhaps that human that shared your bed, I’m sure they would love to listen how you are once again tired of me.”
11) things you said when you were drunk
“Take me home -” he whispered, hot and urgent against Shax’s ear. The party around them fading in the haze of warmth and sound. Of the feel of hands upon his jaw - a kiss pressed against his neck.
12) things you said when you thought i was asleep
“So handsome.” he said quietly - hoping against all hope to have said them silently enough not to rouse Shax from his slumber. And when those blue eyes opened, Shax’s mouth fitting into a smirk all he could do was feel his cheeks burn - turning his head into the pillows to escape that smug look. Escaping, in vain, from hands that took hold of him so easily.
13) things you said at the kitchen table
“No.” he said firmly. Eyes closed as he took another sip from the teacup within his hands. His brow furrowed slightly, opening his eyes and looking at Shax with a disapproving look - setting the cup down firmly on the table between them.
The foot trailed further up his leg, a look of infernal satisfaction plastered over the face of the demon across from him. Another ‘no’ hot on the trail of the last one as the foot caressed the skin under his pant leg.
14) things you said after you kissed me
“You are a complete and utter imbecile.” the words were rushed, and yet for all the insult within them they were happy ones. Fond tones overtaking the more bitter ones that had preceded them. He leaned in once again, pressing another kiss to the Shax’s lips. A laugh threatened to spill from his mouth but it was muffled, his throat constricting as warring emotions tore throughout him.
15) things you said with too many miles between us
“When will I stop missing you?”
He already knew the answer of course, a clear and simple ‘Never’.
16) things you said with no space between us
“Perhaps -” he said lightly, taking a moment to tighten the tie around Shax’s neck.
“ -one day, you will not need Judith or I to help you get dressed.” he allowed himself to smile as he looked down at the reasonable job he had done. Smoothing the folds in the white shirt with his hands, pausing as they hovered over his heart.
18) things you said when you were scared
His arms raised up, crossed over his face as he closed his eyes tightly. Feeling those familiar hands caress his chest, felt their light and heated touches - filled with the aching need they left behind. His heart beat ever faster with each touch, each press of those lips against his flesh. His breathing becoming harried - uneven with each moment that pressed on.
He was scared - scared that history would repeat itself. Scared of what he would do if it happened again. Terrified of the love he could feel still brimming from within himself, threatening to spill over and reveal everything in front of the only one it mattered to.
19) things you said when we were the happiest we ever were
“Can you pass the sugar?” He didn’t look up, continuing instead to read from the book held tightly within his own grasp. He consumed the words eagerly hardly noticing as the seconds ticked by into minutes. His free hand, which had been twirling a teaspoon within it’s digits stilled as if sensing a gaze upon him, eyes meeting with blue ones that looked upon him expectantly - motioning with their own movements to the small bowl within Shax’s hands.
A wry smile was offered to him and he returned the gesture, voice tilting in a laugh as he set the book down on the table between them.
“Please.” he offered, reaching out a hand of his own.
22) things you said after it was over
Everything and nothing at the same time. The hand that curled around Shax possessively was not his, the arm and body it was attached to one that was entirely unlike his own. It was as if someone had stolen the breath from his lungs and he found he could not speak - his mouth dry as he watched as Shax’s head tilted to look at him. That same self satisfied smile that he had seen a million times for a host of different reasons plastered across that face. And while he saw the handsomeness in it - that same face he had touched so fondly earlier, pressing a kiss where red makeup now seemed endlessly smeared across it - it was now wholly wrong.
The world had somehow upturned itself in a moment. Everything within it coming to a screeching halt. Shax talked - not enough to hear the woman beneath him laugh and paw at him - and he came to feel that the world would never be right for him again. For others it would continue on as it ever had. But as he heard those words - dismissive to their very last - he felt as if his world would never begin turning again. It would remain stuck, just as he was. Remaining forever halted upon a set of hands pressed upon flesh that wasn’t his own.
germansingergirl
stormborns
turnnoffyourmind
yousharknotpass
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izzy806
