Ash

After months and months of unparalleled happiness and love, the moment is back. After day after day of laughing and loving and cherishing, the void and loneliness has returned. My heart is aching, slowing with every beat, burning with every breath. The nausea is a slow onset as the realization of this moment looms over my head. We are in pain. Fighting. Hating. Blaming and accusing. Forgetting and loving again just to return to the same damned place not much later. My body is heavy and my eyes are flooded with tears because this is it? This is how it’s going end, isn’t it? In destruction. In flames. The fire won’t end and the pain won’t stop until my last breath is taken. And I know it will be me who loses in the end because I am the destruction, the chaos, the inevitable. And you are just the innocent bystander who got sucked into my disaster of a world.