At Rest - by cumwizard

watercolor on paper

Last year this day

Glutton is my middle name

I need a nap after lunch so bad

So… issue 25th of Uncanny X-Force ends with a small Deadpool story called “Appetite for destruction” which is… quite weird. But at the same time a dream for us.

So Deadpool is looking for a rich overweight kid that disappeared after being sent to a fat camp. He finds back his trace at a weight-loss center, where he gets captured by a giant, fat and grotesque lady. Pretending that he is here to lose weight, he gets strapped to a chair and gets fed hamburgers, nacho sauce and ranch sauce all day by a machine, like an animal being fattened up. Similar overweight people surround him, all having the same fate.

After four months of force-feeding, Deadpool is now obese and too big for his own suit, but he is quite happy with his situation. Until he sees that one of the obese and fattened up victim is actually the boy he was looking for. There he manages to free himself and attempts to save the boy - but his diet left him heavy, slow, and constantly burping and farting. 

It is revealed that this whole fake weight-loss center is in truth a frozen diet food factory for vampires, fattening up people to them turn them into food. Deadpool ends up freeing the boy and punishing the lady in a gruesome way. Indeed, she is served by a bunch of skinny vampires looking like Edward Scissorhands, and apparently she keeps them hungry and starving (because it was indeed a weight loss center, but for vampires, not humans). And Deadpool plays on that by turning the skinny hungry vampire on their mistress - and while it is not shown, it is highly suggested that they devour her alive and grow plump again. 

Deadpool with the saved kid, both now too fat for their own clothes or even to walk, get out on the sunset and ride to the nearest fast-food restaurant.

Last year this day

now thats a successful business lunch

I need a nap after lunch so bad